Give A Sample Of What a Watchtower Magazine Will Say 10 Years From Now

by minimus 48 Replies latest jw friends

  • myself

    Light (with matches or lighter) on this end.

  • jgnat

    Declining Numbers - A True Sign We are Living in the Last Days

  • gitasatsangha

    I may be going to far in the future with this, but oh well.

  • LDH

    1. "You may now turn in a Field Service report if you even THINK about going door to door. We have dropped the 15 time limit. Didn't Jesus say "Any man who has thought of committing adultery with a woman has already done it in his heart? Does not the same principle apply to the preaching work? Therefore, you are encouraged to THINK about going from door to door once a month. Please continue to count this time on your monthly Sales Service Report."

    2. Due to all of the $$$ we have lost in the judgements against us by the wicked Apostates who falsely sued us for harboring pedophiles, we will now require you to sign a release when your child is accompanied by any adult JW. This release will Hold Harmless your local body of elders and the WBTS in the event an evil apostate posing as a JW molests your child.

    3. Our faithful and obedient brothers who have listened to the wise counsel the Slave has provided for years have lovingly been providing extra-curriclar lessons for their Children. Our Professional Spokeswomen, Venus and Serena Williams, are our best example for what happens when a faithful sister INSISTS on providing her children with wonderful secular opportunities despite what their faithless and worldly father states. We as true Christians recognize that no child can maintain a balanced lifestyle without such important instruction. If only the Brothers of yesteryear had listened, why we would have a whole crop of Williams Sisters to give us their money!


  • greven

    How about these:


  • Mary

    Watchtower-------May 15, 2013

    Why Are You Looking Forward To 2014?

    What thrilling times we live in! It's been a mere 134 years since Brother Russell fortold the End of this System of Things. Brother Russell, while he may have erred on some minor points, knew that this wicked System of Things couldn't last much longer and he preached this in public wherever he went. True, some mistakenly felt that they were going to be raptured up to heaven in 1914, but that's because they ran ahead of the Organization and were eager to be at home with the Lord, not because they fulfilled the requirements of a false prophet.

    Brother Russell originally felt that 1914 marked the Last Days, but due to New Light that has been revealed to certain members of the Great Crowd Class (since the last member of Christ's brothers are no longer with us), we can now confidently say without a doubt that the year 2014 marks a special day in mankinds history. Brother Russell's calculations were off by 100 years, and Jehovah has been more than generous, in letting his faithful servants "see" this.

    How are you planning on spending the remaining months in this Wicked Old System? Are you pursuing higher education in the hopes of getting a job? Are you having babies? Brothers! Now is not the time to be toying with Jesus' words "no one knows the day or hour." On the contrary: We DO know the year and we must do all that we can to make sure we make it into the new System of Things.

    Yes, Millions Now Living Will Never Die!!

  • minimus

    Great comments! I like the one about how there are still around 8000 people partaking. There could be accompanying articles that say one of two things. Either, you should not be partaking because the number's been sealed since 1935 or "New Lite" that says that you should be partaking because after serious research, it has been concluded that everyone will go to heaven, sooner or later.

  • Dismembered

    WTBS 2/15/2010:

    Remain Faithful: Although Having Heard It All Before

    Remain Faithful: Even Though You're The Only One Who Stayed

  • shamus

    LOL at the pictures....... very good!

  • undercover

    1-8-13 Awake!

    "Millions Now Living Are Still Duped"

Share this