Got my JC cancelled... (at least for now)

by Sanchy 57 Replies latest jw friends

  • Sanchy

    So my wife and I have been in the process of fading for a few months now as per my original post HERE. About a week ago, I was browsing some ex-JW Facebook groups when I saw a post that linked to the Crisis of Conscience book. I said "[email protected](k it" and hit share on it.

    A few hours later, I get a long text letter from my mom (who was a FB friend of mine) telling me the typical "good luck finding friends in the world" and how we have "nothing in common anymore"; basically, it was a 'farewell' text. Over the next few days I lost about 30 of my FB friends that were active JWs. My wife and I made it an activity to checkup on FB every few hours to see "how many more we've lost".

    I realized I might have screwed up my "fading" with that post and thus I expected a call from the elders would be imminent. Fast forward to yesterday night, around 9:30 pm (after weekday meeting), I get a call from on an elder, whom was a close friend of mine when I was in. He leaves a voicemail, which basically went along the lines of: "Hi brother, I'm calling to see how you and your family are. Long time no talk. Also, we'd like to meet with you this Thursday at 8 in a meeting with myself, brother so-and-so and so-and-so"

    I took a minute to catch my breath, think of what I would reply, then proceeded to call the brother back. He established a conference call with the 2 other elders involved. I said a quick "hello", and asked them what this meeting they requested was about. They told me it was basically a judicial committee made out for the charges of apostasy against me due to some "posts I'd been putting on FB". That's when I laid out a defense as to why they could not yet carry out this apostasy trial. I reminded them (I was an elder before) that the Shepherd the Flock elder's book said that in the case of Apostasy, they are supposed to visit me a few times before initiating a JC. Here's the actual quote from the book under 'reasons to establish a JC' (bold is mine):

    Deliberately spreading teachings contrary to Bible truth as taught by Jehovah's Witnesses: (Acts 21:21, ftn.; 2 John 7,8,10) Any with sincere doubts should be helped. Firm, loving counsel should be given. (2 Tim. 2:16-19, 23-26; Jude 22, 23) If one obstinately is speaking about or deliberately spreading false teachings, this may be or may lead to apostasy. If there is no response after a first and a second admonition, a judicial committee should be formed.

    Since I began fading, they had only visited me once and it was not regarding "apostasy", but rather to find the status of my wife since she also had began fading shortly after I did. So, I firmly stressed that if they carried out this JC against me, I would appeal due to the fact that they had not followed protocol as prescribed in their own rules book. They gave me some trouble, asking me what my intentions for the FB post were, or telling me that the friends already see me as an apostate. I stressed that it didn't matter, they are supposed to "admonish" me first a couple of times BEFORE attempting to judge me.

    After a few mins of back and forth, they conceded and told me that the meeting on Thursday night would not be a JC anymore. Instead, it would be only 2 elders with the purpose of "admonishing" me. I stressed that if the meeting turned out to be a JC, I would not participate. They gave me their word that it would not be. I said "Fine, I'll let you know tomorrow if I can attend that meeting", and hung up.

    So, it seems that at least for now the JC against me is on hold. I will indeed attend the meeting Thursday at 8 since I do want to continue "fading" for the sake of my family. If they try anything funny like tricking me into a JC (you never know what they might attempt), I'll refuse and leave.

    I'll keep you all informed and if you friends have any suggestions, I'd be glad to hear it.

  • Landy

    You know the score, so nothing to advise other than good luck tomorrow.

  • naazira

    Im proud of you! :)

  • never a jw
    never a jw

    Man oh man! Just incredible. Testimony after testimony proves that some religions persevere on the use of tactics of the 1500's and 1600s'.

  • sir82

    If you don't want to face a JC better practice groveling. It may take some effort to get it to look sincere. Lots of wailing and gnashing of teeth and all that.

    Oh, and mention your "relationship with Jehovah" over and over again. If you want to avoid a JC and subsequent DF, there is nothing better to talk about. You literally cannot talk about it too much. They'll lap it up like a kitten with milk.

    If you really don't care if you are DF'ed then do whatever you like.

  • apocalypse

    A little too late I'd say. When you blow a hole in the bottom of your boat, you look for a life jacket bro.

    There's no coming back from this. It's a done deal.

    I have been hiding for 20 years. My wife for 10. I know better than most how it goes. (family ties)

    I've been 'hauled in' twice, and taken aside another few times.

    In another event, I was caught in the Public Library by an elder in my own congo alongside another bro who had C of C in his hand. Literally. That bro faded. I was scrutinized.

    I've been around, and sharing C of C on facebook...?!?!?! You are done. Get used ti it.

  • dozy

    Sounds like you handled that really well. Elders hate taking on ex-elders - they know the procedures and know where the bones are buried. I guess you might just be putting off the grim day though. A lot depends on the elders - some seem to enjoy taking on & DFing ex-JWs - others are too lazy / busy / negligent to bother. Most want apostate JCs very easy - open & shut cases - ideally a "confession" or cast iron evidence so muddying the waters a bit makes it a bit more complicated.

    Beware of the "Do you believe that the GB / FADS is Jehovah's organisation on earth" catch-all question. Maybe insist for 2 witnesses to your original Facebook post - demand screenshots etc etc. And good luck - whatever happens....

  • Sanchy

    Yeah, at this point I've got an internal conflict in that the idea of just getting DF and freeing myself completely is tempting; however, the chance of completely losing my family is terrifying. One of the main reasons why wife and I had children to begin with was to give my dad (whom is physically ill) grandchildren. My wife's family is also in and so we'd lose all our closest loved ones.

    I will tell elders I wont post anymore such things in FB, but, I wont say I'm sorry nor lie about the facts of my situation.

  • Landy

    I will tell elders I wont post anymore such things in FB, but, I wont say I'm sorry nor lie about the facts of my situation.

    Then it will be a done deal. Apocalypse was right - as soon as you shared the link the process was set in motion.

  • Sanchy
    Well, let's see. The protocol in the book is to admonish the person once and twice BEFORE beginning a JC. So, this will be one of those "admonishing" meetings, after which I suspect they will have a very close eye on me.

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