What is the most insensitive thing an Overseer or Elder has ever said and done to you?

by RULES & REGULATIONS 47 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Fadeaway1962

  When I left my abusive wife , after being directed to by a domestic abuse agency and being in a homeless shelter for two weeks I meet with two elders to discuss the situation and the elders they just told me that a husband should not leave his wife was repeat it over and over again and that I should be more assertive in my marriage I told them that would make me the abusive one,I tried to get them to look up what constitutes domestic abuse because she had admitted to them things that are abusive in a marriage.

  And they offered to study with us as if that would fix it, I refused.
• 

  Nicholaus Kopernicus

  Fadeaway 1962
  Can't blame you for refusing their offer of a study. BoE lack the education, EQ and soft skills necessary in a situation such as you were in. Indeed, the org paraded its incompetence when it showed to congs, the video of BoE supposedly helping a suicidal sister. They got her to say the statement - "I must be an integrity keeper" repeatedly. No mention of seeking engagement with mental health services. Nope! The WT and its BoE have all the answers!
• 

  RandomUserName3500

  After my wife (now ex) was found guilty of domestic violence against me in the local court the CO told me "you are just being like Adam and blaming everything on your wife. Why are you making stuff up and lying about your wife? Why are you trying to get rid of her? Are you having an affair? " I wasn't, i was begging for help. The COBE chimed in and said I "should have turned the other cheek and let her hit me there too." And, I "was wrong for calling the police when she supposedly attacked me. The elders would have taken care of it. "
• 

  Nicholaus Kopernicus

  TRUE STORY - RUDE ELDER GET'S IT BACK:

  Elderly Sister - unbaptised publisher. Astute, assertive, decisive.

  Elder: anger issues, tends to be avoided, poor reputation among sisters, single, probably personality disorder.

  One day both approaching inner twin door to main KH auditorium. The elder did not exercise courtesy & give way to the elderly sister. Thus, their shoulders clashed as they approached the doors simultaneously.

  Elderly sister's reaction: turned to the elder and said sternly - "pearls before swine!"

  Elder's reaction: red faced, went to Bro's on mag and lit desk and asked - "Is that any way to speak to an elder?"

  JOY!

  
  
• 

  Vidiot

  Jeezus, with all the stories I've heard, where do I start???
• 

  Wasanelder Once

  When rehearsing a part for the C. Ass, the district overseer asked me to button my coat. When I did, he shielded his eyes as if the button would pop off and hit him in the eye. What a dick.
• 

  Nicholaus Kopernicus

  RandomUserName3500
  It seems that you too have been a victim of incompetence - like Fadeaway 1962. It is jaw dropping for me to read of your account wherein you were told that the BoE would have taken care of it.

  One of the differences between professionals in care, medicine, law etc, is that they will readily acknowledge if they are not the appropriate skill mix to get involved in an issue, and refer you to where you would obtain and benefit from the needed expertise. You seemed to have so benefitted from the expertise of police and courts, and your ex-wife will hopefully have learned something as a result of the response cost.

  In that the BoE so readily opine that they could have taken care of things may be evidence that they "... think more of... [themselves] than..." is necessary and grossly overestimate their abilities. The institution as a whole seems very adverse to sign-pointing individuals to the requisite expertise needed. In that this is so, they probably jeopardise the welfare of many who are experiencing difficulties of one sort or another. They (WT) have much to answer for!
• 

  Tedwin

  I had a car accident that put me in a wheelchair for many years. I lost my job, vehicle, and home. I moved back into my parent's home and they took care of me while I applied for and waited for federal disability. we lived in West Virginia on a steep hill. It took the whole family to get me to medical appointments. I was very isolated and depressed but received the news that I was going to receive a shepherding call. I was very excited to get some assoiation and helpful upbuilding words. One of my "shepherds" had me read The account of the Widow who gave two small coins and Jesus said she gave more than anyone else because she gave all she had. I thought while I was reading it how kind to remind me of this account Then he said she gave two small coins but you give nothing!.