What is the most insensitive thing an Overseer or Elder has ever said and done to you?

RULES & REGULATIONS

I have had many insensitive things said to me by some Elders, but for some reason one self-righteous Elder was always on my case. He didn't like the fact that I missed meetings, didn't like that I never went out in field service, that I didn't answer at the weekly meetings and he didn't like that I carried my books and magazines in my hands and not a service/book bag. He would pay me visits and tell me, ''the only reason you come to the meetings is to make your family happy.'' He was right, but the reason wasn't his business.

Here is a conversation that I had where his self-righteousness came out. I was talking to my mom after the meeting and he jumps into the conversation:

My Mom: ''Are you coming over today so we can see the Kids?''

Me : ''Yes! We will come over later today.''

Here comes self-righteous Elder to bother me as usual:

Elder to my mom: ''How are you feeling?''

My Mom : '' Well, you know I have a lot of health issues. I wish my health was as good as my son's.''

Elder to my Mom: ''Well, he may be physically healthier than you but not '' spiritually'' healthier than you.''

He walks away.

LoveUniHateExams

An elder dropped me off from the Thursday night meeting. I was 16 years old and baptised. We got talking about my mum, who still hadn't managed to quit smoking but came along to the meetings.

And this elder basically said the time left was reduced and I should basically forget about my mum. He didn't say 'forget about your mum, LUHE, because God will kill her at Armageddon' but that is what he implied.

Two years later, my mum had had a stroke and was in hospital, paralysed from the neck down. And this same elder turned to my dad, who was feeling a bit down, at the KH and said:

'You're not the only one with problems, you know'.

What an A-hole

Rocketman123

JWS elder = power ....... end of story

Ding

I once showed an elder copies of Watchtowers that contained false prophecies and other "old light."

He started screaming at me, "This is garbage! This is garbage!"

I said, "This was published by the Watchtower Society and offered door to door. When did it stop being the truth and turn into garbage?"

StephaneLaliberte

To be honnest, most elders and overseers I met were nice people doing their best, so I don't have many stories. Still, I do have some. Here is the first one that comes to mind:

When my sister passed away in a violent car accident, she was disfellowshiped at the time. At the meeting, this guy comes up to me and says: "Far from Jehovah, there is only death." Had we been outside of that hall, I would have decked him. However, unable to give in to my violent urges, I had to absorb the violence of his words. It was the first time in my life that I truly understood how some people can be hurt by words. Oh, I've been ridiculed and bullied in my life, but this was the first time that words truly hurt me.

I shared my conversation with other elders and family and they were just as shocked as me by this. He had to call me and family back and say sorry. I also know that his responsibilities were lightened up a bit, which is actually a a light form of discipline, but discipline nonetheless.

StephaneLaliberte

Following up on my last comment, again when my sister passed away, my mom was also disfellowshiped at the time. Two elders came to my apartment for a pastoral visit. They started with a prayer, read some bible passages and then showed a kingdom ministry advising me not to use the current situation as an excuse to talk to my disfellowshipped mother.

I wasn't hurt by what they said as I was expecting nothing else from them anyways. I was so used to being double face with them that I actually said thank you for coming and right after they left, called my mother. And yet, to this day, I still regret not confronting them about their inhuman intervention/ I should have thrown them out of my place.

Steel

I was at a meetup while dating my wife and an elder did a little talk about marrying in the lord and basically asked if anyone could set my wife up , right in front of me.

I didn’t know if I should laugh or kick his ass.

A few years later I came home from work and he was sitting in my living and I was “ get the fuck out of my house”. Wife was not happy with me .

RULES & REGULATIONS

I wasn't hurt by what they said as I was expecting nothing else from them anyways. I was so used to being double face with them that I actually said thank you for coming and right after they left, called my mother. And yet, to this day, I still regret not confronting them about their inhuman intervention/ I should have thrown them out of my place.

I regret not confronting the Elder who was pretty nasty to me. There were many times I should have thrown a punch at him, times I should have called him out and times I should of thrown him out of my house.

This Elder was a self-righteous bastard, who always had to impress the District and Circuit Overseers when they paid their biannual visits. He would avoid talking to me or even shaking my hand at our Kingdom Hall. He always brought over the Overseers to my house to show how much concern he had for the lost sheep. He tells me during one visit in my home, ''how much he loves me and hopes that I take their advice on showing up at the meetings more often and to start back in field service.'' I should have called him on it to the Overseers but didn't.

LongHairGal

RULES&REGULATIONS:

Way back in the day when I was a fool, I thought the elders were my *friend* or had ‘wisdom’...I was not yet aware of the terrible bias they had against me because I was a single working woman who did not pioneer, abase myself or do favors for Users or jealous individuals there.

I called one elder up because of a certain bad situation in my non-JW family/personal life. Out of the blue, I get a tirade that ‘I have to put on a Christian personality and deal with it, etc’. I was left feeling WTF? Another time I approached that same elder in the hall about the unchristian attitudes I saw by certain people in the hall. He then threw back at me some bullshit about what I had to do, etc. I THEN said to him: “these people have the same WT/Awake magazines that I do. Isn’t it also THEIR responsibility to act accordingly, etc.” He really didn’t have an answer for that.

It was after that I realized the mindset towards me. It would be hopeless to ever engage them in any sort of a personal conversation again. I also remembered feeling awful after shepherding calls and made it a point to refuse them...Other than a nod hello (to one who acknowledged me), I never had any contact after a certain point.

Fast forward: the offending elder is passed away and I am Out and Retired and grateful I never listened to the so-called wisdom in that awful place!

Overrated

I had an opportunity to go to school to learn a skill that would get me a good paying job. This one elder, a real cry baby, felt that I should be more at the meetings and slinging Watchtowers and Awakes or I had to find another roof to live under. Such loving people!

What is the most insensitive thing an Overseer or Elder has ever said and done to you?

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