How to avoid getting disfellowshipped for having a wordly girlfriend?

by cookiemaster 49 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • GetMeOutofHere

    You will only be disfellowshipped if they can prove serious sin. However if you’ve been fading for as long as you have then you will not be considered as part of the congregation and so will only face judicial action if you choose to return. Be discreet, unresponsive and do not go back!

  • eyeuse2badub

    at 1 Corinthians 7:39 it says to marry “only in the Lord,”

    at 1 Corinthians 6:14 is says "Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers."

    These 2 scriptures are not suggestions, they are rules or laws stated by Paul that wt ignores. They are plainly stated. Technically these are disfellowshipping issues if one chooses to violate them. But again the wt does nothing!

    But smoke a cigar or take a life saving blood transfusion and you get df'ed!

    just saying!

  • cookiemaster

    Thank you guys! You've really helped me organize my thoughts and form a plan of sorts. It's a small town and everyone knows everyone, not many secrets and not very likely to keep a relationship secret, nor do I think it would be fair and mature to ask my girlfriend to 'hide' as we're both young and would like to enjoy life together, but I won't advertise it either.

    We'll see what happens and sort of go from there. I'll be discrete and if they do find out I won't tell them much about it except that she is positive towards JWs and that we're following scriptural advice concerning moral behavior. I won't tell them I don't want to be a JW anymore and generally try to keep my mouth shut about everything, and claim I can't share details about my private life.

    There aren't many JWs around and I remember the scriptural advice that it's better to marry someone that's not in the faith rather than sin.Ultimately though, I realized that I'm willing to lose all acceptance from the JW community if it means I can finally start living the life that I wish for. I feel imprisoned and in arrested development. I'm in my mid-20s and while I have done well financially and professionally, I feel like something is missing from my life.

    Continuing to pretend I'm a JW is pointless. I'll never be one truthfully, and there's no point in having any relationship with other JWs if it's based on the lie that I share their views. I'll just fade away completely and hope they do the same. I think my parents will understand and their desire for grandchildren will override any concerns brought up by the cult as long as a maintain a calm, healthy attitude and show them I can be happy and loved outside the cult.

  • cookiemaster

    You are right Carla that it's not fair for her, but I'm trying my best to make it fair and she does know what she's getting herself into. I have explained everything to her fully and truthfully, and she still wants us to be together. She doesn't care about what JWs think and has never been religious, so my unwillingness to participate in other religious holidays does not bother her. Also why I will never pressure her to do anything she's not comfortable with doing, which is not much because at most I'd ask her to accompany to the memorial or something like that. Although, she does celebrate Christmas, birthdays and other commercial holidays like normal people. My parents will just have to accept that is our business what we choose to do as a couple. In other words, I will ensure that she will never miss out on any life experience because of my past with this cult, that much is certain.

    In another line of thought, I wonder if serious financial donations would buy me leeway with the elders. Can I bribe them? It sure seems many JW celebs have been given a lot more leeway than regular publishers. Maybe I could do the same now that business is booming? Or maybe I'd be a fool and money feeding a heartless corporation that masquerades as a religion.

  • FedUpJW

    I wonder if serious financial donations would buy me leeway with the elders.

    Sometimes. I have posted elsewhere about a personal experience I had. I mentioned one time long ago that I wished to marry. I was told, "Don't get married. Just purchase the services of a hooker. When you get back home tell the elders you made a mistake in a moment of "weakness" and make a large $$$ contribution to the local congregation. You will get off."

    The guy that said that was doing just that, and got away with it, was promoted through the ranks and is now an elder who is still a drunk, and messing around on his second wife.

  • MeanMrMustard

    No, don’t give them any money. Good forking lord. You don’t have to play the game.

  • road to nowhere
    road to nowhere

    If they want to catch you they will. All it takes is a situation where something could have occurred, not that it did. Like being alone or visiting overnight

  • Simon

    It's just a club, you can stop going to it and following their nonsense rules.

  • tiki

    Yikes...lot of good thought is to come clean and honest with all concerned. It may cause family problems but once the air settles in the long run will make for a much better life for you and whoever you end up with in a long term relationship. You can't base a life on is unhealthy and will come back to bite you eventually. If you do not feel part of the religion, cut loose. You can date anyone you choose and have whatever relationships you decide religion should bind you or cause misgivings about your personal choices. Good luck!

  • tiki

    And the big donation idea is just plain ludicrous. Ever hear the saying "a fool and his money are soon parted" ??

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