Day 1: The Night of Anger, Tears, and Pain

by Saethydd 27 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Saethydd

    My freedom came with a heavy cost. I couldn't stand the dishonesty so when my sister went out of town on a trip I told my parents that I no longer wanted to be a JW. When my sister got back and I told her she was so angry, said she really wanted to slap me, then she ran off sobbing, a few minutes later she deposited every gift I ever gave her in front of my door.

    My entire family has turned against me. They all feel so much pain over this and from their point of view it's all my fault. Even though I know in my head that it's the narrow-minded shunning policy of the Watchtower that really causes this pain, I can't help but feel guilt everytime I relive hearing my sister crying or my mother's angry insistence that "deep down I know this is the Truth."

    This morning I woke up in a home where I have freedom and acceptance. I'm glad I found good friends before I committed to this path because I know that this wouldn't have gone well for me otherwise. I have a long road ahead of me to reach a happy life, and I doubt these scars will ever fully heal, but now at least I can begin to get on with my life.

  • OnTheWayOut

    Oh my. What a tragedy. I wish there was a way to ease your family rejection pain.

    If there is any comfort, it may be to say that you have done the hardest part and will know you were right.

    You might want to write to your family members what they won't allow you to say. Stay strong.

  • tiki

    I am so sorry...this is just so wrong and unfair. I just don't get it how people can be so cruel to their own blood relatives. If only they could stop and think and realize that we all have a choice and we all should respect and be supportive of the decisions others make. Even if you really believe someone is making a serious mistake..understand it is their decision and they bear the responsibility for the results of their actions. You're in a rough patient and keep your chin up! In the long run freedom from that crazy religion will bring you happiness and satisfaction.

  • just fine
    just fine

    I am sorry you are going through this. You are never responsible for how another person behaves. You are only responsible for you. JWs always try to make their bad behavior your fault, then it absolves them of responsibility for their actions ( at least in their twisted world). They are acting badly, it is their choice to act badly. It is a blatant attempt to manipulate you, if you can see it for what it is, it becomes ineffective. ❤️ And hugs - it gets better with time.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Good morning, Saethydd:

    May I likewise express my sympathy regarding this difficult time both you and family are experiencing.

    Adding to my thoughts posted on your earlier thread, it is important to take the high road. My mate and I were hard on our child who refused to conform to the Society's ways. As I wrote you, we woke up and let our kid stay. No meetings, no participation in family study, etc.

    My point is that our child has been the sane, loving, and forgiving one. JW parents can be so blind to where the fault really lies. The entire blame is placed on the one leaving. Thirty years later, we have a great relationship with our child.

    Blessings and peace.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    Being honest with yourself is the best effort in life. A self inventory now and again can keep a person from becoming an automaton. The JW's desire all to be cookie cutter persons, slaves to a communal dullness and self deception. You have run with your hands in the air in sweet surrender to reality. The other hostages can't see the great crowd surrounding the bank where the Governing body keeps a gun filled with painful blanks pointed at them. Applause to you. Take courage and know others are with you.

  • Anony Mous
    Anony Mous

    I remember your post not too long ago:

    at least they were not aggressive and have said that they won't force me to move out over this, though
    I'm sad that this has affected you and your family so much. I hope for the best, maybe your parents will get a 'friendly' visit from the elders, just to 'encourage' them (yeah, swoon at the nice friendly elders) which will end up with a nice browbeating about not to engage with you and that the "except in necessary business and family matters" should also not be used because it's just an excuse to engage with your DF family, even the birth of a grandchild should not be considered 'necessary family business' - I think the branch even has a form letter to elders that ask about valid 'exceptions' and really, the only exception would be where certain things such as long term care could not be provided by members of the local congregation or monetary transactions such as inheritances.

    I know, because that's what happened to me when my mother left the 'truth'. In the end, it still took me about 10 years to fully 'wake up' but I also know that as a parent, the relationship to your kids weighs a lot heavier than to your parents.

  • Half banana
    Half banana

    Saethydd, courage my friend! You are the honest one acting according to your conscience.

    Don't let the emotional pressure of an ignorant religion which your family are trapped in take away your integrity. In the long run your course might allow them to recognize that they are in the wrong-- by giving in to them; that would likely not happen.

    We know they are being unkind to you blindly carrying out the gb's orders but it will improve as you get a good education and are able to depend more on your own resources. JWism encourages dependency on the clowns running the's not a real alternative is it?

  • jp1692

    Saethydd: I have a long road ahead of me to reach a happy life, and I doubt these scars will ever fully heal, but now at least I can begin to get on with my life.

    That is so true. In that vein, consider this thought:

    “We make the road by walking.” - Paulo Freire


    My entire family has turned against me. They all feel so much pain over this and from their point of view it's all my fault.

    Image result for Welcome to the club!

Share this