I feel really, really sorry for those born into the Jehovah's Witness religion

by jambon1 42 Replies latest jw friends

  • neverendingjourney

    Damn, Sparky, those are some eerie similarities. I, too, became wrapped up in my career. I'm currently in my late 30s and have a goal of retiring early at exactly the age of 47!

    Looking back at it with the benefit of hindsight, I think I ran away from the things I wasn't good at (having relationships in the non-Witness world) and focused on the things I was good at (doing well in school). I left in my mid 20s and now have multiple college degrees, a high-paying job, but no wife or girlfriend.

    It turns out the kinds of things that make you a stud JW prospect are the kinds of things normal women find boring and uninteresting. We're all dealing with the aftermath in our own ways.

  • LongHairGal


    Good post. I agree.

    Even though many born-in JWs land on their feet after leaving the religion, others have terrible problems because of family still being in.

    When I "faded" from the religion, I went right back to my non-Witness family who never rejected me in the first place.

    I'm grateful I had a normal childhood where I was allowed to be a child and not a mini-adult parroting Witness propaganda and B.S. that I couldn't possibly understand.

    I'm grateful I had an education/career and healthy self-esteem that I would not let the Witnesses rob me of.

    But, watching cartoons as a child on Saturday mornings was priceless as was celebration of the Holidays!

  • Sorry

    Yup. When I was little I thought everything was good (even though I never volunteered my religion to anyone, do maybe my subconscious was trying to tell me something). The older I got, the more I realized just how effed up the teachings were. Once I fully explained to a teacher what we believed (paradise Earth, heavenly kingdom in 1914, the generation, why we suffer), she flat out told me that was stupid and everything sounded so cultish. I wish I listened to her and hadn't got so defensive ("we're not a cult!"). She tried to help me realize that not celebrating holidays, not making friends at school, constantly having to study and preach, and being forced to "take a stand" and alienating ourselves was not normal at all.

    Being a witness child is very macabre: Ecclesiastes 7:1 "the day of death is better than the day of birth." You can't celebrate birthdays or make any friends because they'll be dead due to not believing what you believe, and they'll be better off. They're the ones causing the wicked and bad things that happen in this world. And if you dare disagree, you'll share the same fate.

    Very effed up. I made it a personal goal that no matter how much pressure I receive from my family, I'm never raising my potential children in this religion. They deserve a better childhood than me.

  • Lancashirelass

    Funnily enough my friend and I were talking about this not too long ago. We were talking about how differently our lives could have been. I think a thing for both of us is being single. Perhaps if I could have had a normal up bringing I would probably not be alone by now. JW marriage and all it's issues never really appealed to me! It has now got to the stage where I'm actually quite contented on my own and I'm probably too set in my ways to share it with someone else!

    Having a bigger circle of friends would be another thing. I have one none JW friend who I have known since school. I hadn't seen her for many years and then we ended up in the same job together. We haven't worked together for a long, long time now but we do still catch up with each other and meet up a couple of times a year. I think the best friendships are those that have been formed from our childhood years and I find it sad that these bonds are something we could never form as children. Instead we had forced friendships with other children in the KH and most of us couldn't stand each other anyway.

    Yes I so missed watching Saturday morning T.V! I actually used to be really happy if I became ill as at least I got to stay home and watch the programmes! And also there always seemed to be a great programme on the night of the weekday meetings....so hated missing out on that.

    Hated conventions. Hated having to sit there all day. Ultimate boredom for a child. The only thing I actually enjoyed was just standing there with my eyes closed and listening to everyone singing, all those voices singing together was quite a powerful thing....maybe I was just a weird child

  • Saethydd

    I can relate to many of the posts on here. I was raised a JW, and at at 21 I've been baptized for more than half my life. I remember in elementary school how I wasn't able to join any teams except for the quiz bowl. I remember how I was never allowed to spend the night with any of my friends from school. To make things worse I grew up in a congregation that didn't really have anyone my own age to spend time with. Eventually in my teenage years I did finally make one good friend in another congregation, and he hasn't spoken to me since I told him I was about to be disfellowshipped a few months ago. At the moment I'm trying to build better friendships with the people that I've attended college classes with. I honestly have found them to be far more engaging than any Witnesses that I recall speaking to, far more open-minded. Maintaining even those friendships has been tough though since I still live at home with my Witness parents which limits my ability to socialize with my friends from college. At least not without potentially upsetting my parents, which I'd rather not do since I do.

  • tepidpoultry

    You're attacking my parents here,

    Please stop,

    Thank you,


  • Vidiot
    William Penwell - "...if I was to raise children now I would not raise them in any religious faith based system..."

    Seems to be working for me and mine.

  • Vidiot
    Lancashirelass - "...maybe I was just a weird child..."



  • flipper

    JAMBON- Great thread. One of the best I've seen here in the last 6 months or so ! I relate to EVERYTHING you stated as my parents got into the JW cult 8 years before I was born as the youngest of their 4 children. I didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of breaking away from it until I was an adult. And even then it took awhile as I of course married another young JW woman who I had 3 children with. It wasn't until my kids were teenagers that I finally broke away from the shackles of bondage to the WT Society. It took courage on my 18 year old sons part to break free and courage on my part as a 44 year old raised JW to leave. Because many of us have suffered the shunning repercussions and ostracism from our JW families. I give a virtual computer hug to all of you ex-JW's on this board who have suffered injustices like me . We are survivors, we are strong. Keep the REAL faith my friends- trust yourself, trust your instincts. Thanks Jambon for this thread that is very real and personal for many of us. It's good to bring awareness about it to those who haven't experienced the shunning. Take care, merry x-mas

  • jambon1

    Interesting to note that kids despised the conventions.

    My son opted out around age 8. I'd already left the religion so I was happy for him not to go but it'd break my heart when he'd cry on the morning of the convention saying "all I do is sit there listening to things I don't understand about".

    I'd argue in the past and still maintain today that the sort of material that they allow kids to hear at these ridiculous events is not age appropriate. It's a wonder they don't get into trouble from the authorities for exposing children to detailed material relating to sex, death and other inappropriate topics.

    Again, why can't they see how wrong it is?

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