Anyone pissed at their parents for raising you in the cult?

by blownaway 31 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • stuckinarut2


    Lost opportunities can never be made up for!

    Now, in my early 40's, I resent the opportunities that were denied me that I could have pursued.

    Im not unhappy with my life as such now, BUT, what could I have been able to do if I was encouraged to succeed in life, rather than being suppressed as we were? I guess we will never know....

  • Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho
    Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

    @dubstepped: "...they had many, MANY chances to choose to rise up and do good things and they didn't."

    That's probably the source of my anger. They've been shown the ugly truth about Watchtower through me. I've mercilessly stated my position for leaving the organization until I was blue in the face. I even discovered a copy of Crisis of Conscience in my father's library when making a clandestine visit to the house one night as they were at the meeting. The damn man KNOWS why it's a cult, has the evidence and he's STILL IN. I can never respect that. In fact, it angers me. I want nothing to do with this kind of disingenuous lack of accountability.

  • dozy

    I try not to be ( pissed with my parents ) , but I am , really. I made huge efforts when my children were of an age to firstly establish whether the WTBTS was what it claimed to be , and then huge sacrifices to remove my family from the organisation. My parents are intelligent , professional people. They should have seen through this. Although it was pre-internet when I was growing up , there were resources out there for them to educate themselves.

    While people have every right to do what they want for themselves , there simply is absolutely no excuse to bring children up in a cult. Any parent who is heavily involved in any organisation - religious , social , political - whatever - that is in the slightest way "unorthodox" MUST make an honest , objective examination if they are seriously considering bringing up their children in it , especially if there is an obligation on them to shun their children if they later decide it isn't for them.

  • dubstepped

    @stuckinarut2 - Oh man, the lost opportunities. Not just education and career, but dating and figuring out who we were in relationships, the lost chance to play sports and learn to be part of a team, the basic loss of childhood innocence while the weight of the world and saving it was put on our shoulders, I could go on and on.

    I hate fakery at this point so much that I cannot enjoy fictional movies. To suspend disbelief is a struggle. But the other day I went to YouTube and watched a video of all the best cartoons from the 80's. I realized quickly that before my parents became cult members I absolutely loved fantasy and fiction. So many cartoons of magic and wonder, a part of me that they crushed out of existence. I've been told my whole life that I'm too serious, and those fuckers are a big part of it. Not just the cult aspects of my parents, but their joyless denial of the realities of life, their whole lives spent playing roles and not being real, and my realization as a child that make believe lives are bitterly unhappy, all combined to make me dislike even fun whimsy and robbed me of so much joy. I'm trying to get some of that back.

    That last sentence struck a nerve, trying to get things back. I'm so sick of being behind in life, trying to catch up in so many aspects because of them. Adulthood has been a deep dive to suicidal depression followed by a nine year constant battle to figure out literally everything I know about life because they taught me virtually nothing.

  • JW_Rogue

    I am not resentful because looking back at the circumstances it makes perfect since that she would fall for JW doctrine. I'm sure she felt it was the best way to raise us, that we were protected from bad influences, drugs, alcohol, promiscuity. The sad part is in all the years that have past she has never questioned whether it is really the truth.

  • jws

    I don't know that I can be pissed at my parents. I don't know that I can be pissed for my upbringing. I certainly didn't like being a JW. But overall, it turned out good. My dad was absent quite a bit when he was an elder doing elder things. But he did manage to take us on all kinds of trips to see the country. And camping and we had fun.

    But..., if we weren't JWs, I don't know how my life would have been. My parents were Lutheran and I think without the strictness of the JWs, us kids could have gotten into things we shouldn't have been into. Instead of teenagers, I could have teenage grandkids right now. I could be a smoker. Into drugs. Who knows? It's the story of anything. The butterfly effect. If you change the littlest thing, your life could have a totally different arc and maybe not good.

  • JW_Rogue
    I could be a smoker. Into drugs. Who knows? It's the story of anything. The butterfly effect. If you change the littlest thing, your life could have a totally different arc and maybe not good.

    I think parents can raise good, moral, and sober kids without religious brainwashing. Would it have happened with my family? It's really hard to say one way or another. I think it's best not to worry too much about the past. It's important to realize that even if being raised the way we were did keep us out of trouble, it doesn't mean we owe anything to the org or our family. We still have the right to believe whatever we want and to live accordingly.

  • Bungi Bill
    Bungi Bill


    Rather, I cannot thank my father enough for resisting the pressure from his mother to raise us kids as JWs.

    My newly-converted grandmother managed to get my father to attend the odd Circuit Assembly public talk, but he remained unimpressed. He particularly noted that much of what he heard was totally unsuitable for children.

    Wherever you are now, Dad, I thank you profusely for that!

  • Dagney

    I was, and I had to work through it. It took time.

    I am pissed at myself for staying so long.

    And I REALLY hate this religion for the control over people's lives they take.

  • jp1692

    I've read through this thread with great interest. I appreciate reading thoughts and feelings shared from the perspective of a child raised in a cult. Thank you all for posting.

    As a parent that initially raised my children in the religion, but then realized it was a cult and left, I am faced with the tragic irony which is the polar opposite of those of you that have posted here: my children are extremely angry at me because I left the religion! (They are still in it nine years after I left ... I tried to get them to leave with me, but have so far been unsuccessful.)

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