Anyone pissed at their parents for raising you in the cult?

by blownaway 31 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • blownaway

    My Mother was not the most emotionally stable person. She was a follower and instilled in me the idea we were better than those worldly people. Its hard to go to school as a child and you can not be friends outside of school, you can not celebrate any holidays, and you are told all these people are going to die. Its no wonder many JWs don't look at education with anything but distaste. If I could see before the internet that something was not right, why could they not see? Was family pressure too high? One thing that helps today is that when you had a large part of the population living in close nit family's that all stayed in the same area it would have been hard to give that all up. Now people move away and can start a new life JWfree . I still can not give a complete pass to my parents. Parents should put their kids welfare first. The cult comes first and this should in and of itself be a huge red flag.

  • Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho
    Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

    @blownaway "Pissed" is an understatement.

    Excerpt from a letter I sent to my parents a year ago:

    "You raised me in a cult, and it was one of the worst things you and mum could have done for me. For her to then say "I feel sorry for this infant," tonight (referring to WHAM! Jr) is another slap in my face. My son absolutely DESERVES to see my open defiance to such injustice, to this thought-control you and my mother seem to seek refuge in. My silence on the matter would only be reinforcing my acceptance of it. Mum may feel such unwarranted pity for my son, but I can assure you that I will be the kind of parent who raises a child who never has to question my integrity, honesty or love for him the way I question yours. Mark my words."

    Full context here:

  • Wild_Thing

    At times, yes, but most of the time, no. First, blame lies squarely on my grandmother's shoulders. She was the one that converted back in the 50s and got this whole generational mess started. She was poor, uneducated, and a very suppressed female, so I view her as a victim, too. I view my still-in-mother a victim, too, for the same reasons.

    At some point you have to stop being a victim, but you have to have self-realization that you are a victim, first. And therein, lies the conundrum. You had that self realization. Your parents have not. It is painful to watch them continue to be a victim, and it is hard not to be resentful at their continued stupidity.

  • blownaway

    I remember all the guilt I carried for not being good enough, not wanting to reach out and be a MS or elder. Not having any worldly friends and not liking many of the JWs and their BS. Wakemeup, good on you. Glad to see people stand up and tell parents where the door is. If my parents were still alive I would tell them as long as you are in the cult don't plan on seeing your grandkids.

  • Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho
    Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

    @blownaway Guns blazing. A year later, that barrel is still smoking because I got another email from my parents just this morning telling me how much they want to see my son and I and that we can leave the past in the past.

    *drag and delete*

  • Giordano

    I've talked about this before so will not revisit in excruciating detail.

    Bare bones. Mom converts in 1950 - 53 or so.

    Dad passes away in 1955. WWII injuries.

    I am 'dragged' to meetings and field boring.

    Mom gets re-married to an alcoholic 6.4 Texan with anger issues who is not a JW.

    Fights between myself and him break out frequently. I learn to box and hide an iron bar within reach of my bed. The Congregation and the friends help keep me sane.

    I move out at age 17........ promised Mom I'd pioneer for a year either that or Bethel.... yikes....hated Bethel.

    I Pioneer where the need is great....peace and quite. Meet my future wife this is some 55 years ago still married....... still in love. Though when asked about our marriage last month I smiled and said "She is the love of my life" she smiled and said "he's my current husband".

    We left the 'tooth' together. Vietnam is raging I lose my Ministers deferment.

    Our son is born I get a parent deferment.

    I tell my son who is 50 now about those years and how he saved me from Vietnam.

    He says 'wow....... you own me a big one!'

    I said..... 'I paid you a big one'. Your Mom and I didn't raise you as a JW!'

  • eyeuse2badub

    I love and appreciate my mom because she really thought, really believed that jw's had "the truth", She was fooled and captivated by a concept like so many of us were. Thinking that she was giving her 5 children the path to 'everlasting life' was the very best she could do. That was way before the information age and the internet. It was a lot easier to fool people in them there days.

    just saying!

  • Tallon

    With the benefit of hindsight and life experience, I, like eyeuse2badub posted, do not blame my parents. They were converts - started studying around 1972.

    My parents, as many, many others have been, were duped by the Org's false teachings and promises.

  • dubstepped

    The question is am I pissed at my parents, and absolutely. I don't necessarily blame them because they were both very broken people that lived a life of denial and found surety in a cult, but I can still be pissed. I am sad for them, but angry for me. I didn't deserve their crap to be heaped upon me. Their righteous indignation and egos can gtfo.

    They ultimately destroyed our family. My mom confided in my wife that she doesn't want me to think she's a monster. Too late. I was there to see my dad one last time in hospice, and although in the moment it felt right it didn't shortly thereafter. My mom will have to die without two of her four kids by her side. I honestly feel like on some level she deserves that.

    So I hold both compassion and contempt for them, but they chose their crazy and they had many, MANY chances to choose to rise up and do good things and they didn't. They ignored good counsel time and again. They drug us through a cult, through times where we didn't know where food was coming from, through their sick minds and lives, and I am indeed pissed.

    Both were broken narcissists. They never truly cared about me or saw me. Even if my mom left the cult at this point I probably wouldn't have much to do with her. I'd help her through the process and if she changed then we could see what that meant but without that I don't see much chance of reconciliation.

    I think I am angrier at my mom because she's the one that brought that crap cult into our house. She was the open minded intelligent one that shut all of that down for the easy path of certainty. She sold herself out, and us too.

  • blownaway

    When I tell people who are not or do not know JWs. That if your son, daughter or other relative gets DFed for smoking, or not believing the old fucks in NY are gods mouth you can not talk to them. They all get wide eyed and say fuck that shit. If you have a brain at some point you have to question this crap. I did when I was young. My first questions were why are these supposed godly people all so fake and hypocritical. I was told the boiler plate crap about god uses imperfect people and they do the best they can. But this is a one of rule, it does not apply to any other religion.

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