Anyone pissed at their parents for raising you in the cult?

by blownaway 31 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • nugget

    There is a degree of anger and regret. My mum was the right personality type to be attracted to the organisation. She allowed the organisation to take precedent over everything and trusted them totally. This meant that when abuse happened she looked to the elders and allowed them to deal with a situation that should have been reported to the Police. She broke the family driving wedges between us and is unaware and does not accept the damage her religion ha caused.

    When I had my own children I could see very quickly that the religion was not understanding of their needs. I knew field service was mortifying and meetings were boring and sometimes inappropriate for small children. I could see them being crushed by this religion and could not accept it. Their needs were instrumental in my decision to leave and I cannot understand why for my mother the needs of her children were not important.

  • Simon

    Yes, and also sad for them that they wasted so much of their life on it.

    Sometimes they were brought up into it as well, other times they made a choice to join it. I'm sure the reasons made sense to them but I pity them for making it.

  • James Brown
    James Brown

    I have a lot of anger with my mother for raising me as a witness. And I have anger with my father for allowing her to raise me as a witness. I am 65. My mother just died this week at 87. I guess I will have this anger until the day I die.

    I hate the JW cult.

  • Still Totally ADD
    Still Totally ADD

    Not pissed but i wish they would have found another way to have saved their marriage. They were both throw away children and they needed structure in their life. As a cult the wt. was able to give them that. All the way to the end of my dads life he would offten say to me if it wasn't for finding the truth their marriage would not have lasted. He was very proud of that fact. Even though I went through a lot of abuse in the cult I am not mad at my parents for raising me in it.

    But I have in the past beat myself up for raising my kids in the cult. Any anger from them for being raised in the cult is very understandable. I just wish I would have woken up earlier in my life. I can't change the past but I can be there for my children now. Still Totally ADD

  • Whynot

    I absolutely love my parents. But I can't blame them. It just doesn't make sense to blame them.

    My mom came from an extremely poor family. Her father abandoned her and her 7 sisters for about 5 years. They had no idea where he was. Her mother never went to school so they all had to work. My mother started working as a child milking cattle, picking cotton, cleaning, taking care of kids. As a child she didnt celebrate religious holidays and the only thing she got for Christmas each year was a pair of shoes snd a meal. Men took advantage of them sexually. She was smart and learned English and immigrated to America at 16 and started working. She was able to take care of her family. She was sooo broken and still is. I feel sorry for her more than anything.

    My father was raised by raging alcoholics with anger issues. He was abandoned several times and his teenage brother had to steal food to feed his 8 siblings. My father started working at 7 years if age or else he would starve to death. He hated holidays and birthdays because only the rich kids got gifts. He was suicidal most of his life and used to physically abuse my mom. The witnesses also provided hope for him.

    More than anything I feel sorry for them. I can completely understand why they are still in the religion. I appreciate them for not shunning my DF husband and myself for being inactive. Honestly they have nothing else going for them. They love the attention and admiration they get since they have low self-esteem and are also narcicistic.

    Sure, I wish things could have been different. But one thing I am pissed about is the fact that they gave up EVERYTHING to serve the organization. They sold their business, house and we lived off the government just so they can pioneer. THAT is what I'm pissed about. They were regular Jehovah's Witnesses but others started accusing them of being materialistic and should be pioneering etc. They fell for it and we all suffered. Our health suffered. It was horrible!

    I am saddened by the fact that this was the only option for them to find happiness. They didn't have much opportunity for anything else unfortunately.

    I am happy that my father encouraged me to study, do research and not believe everything I'm told at the meetings. This was the start of me having doubts, asking crazy questions. He loved it whenever I questioned anything in the publications. He never gave me an answer but he would encourage me to check it out at the library. So in way, I owe it to him for where I am.

  • sparrowdown

    I think one of the signs of maturity is when you realise that your parents like everybody else on the planet are flawed individuals as a result of their upbringing and genetics.They had their own shit from their own parents to work out and get together and like all of us some of us are able to get our shit together, some of us are not and the rest of us are working on it.

    Becoming a parent doesn't automatically make all your baggage go away, and often that's when the baggage comes home to roost and the decisions they made were them attempting to deal with their baggage in a way that wasn't the most healthy but seemed like the right thing to do at the time, or maybe, they just didn't know any better.

    Also assigning today's knowledge and sensibilities to past generations is a bit unfair, 20/20 hindsight makes us all enlightened.

    Hopefully each gen learns something from the mistakes of the past gen and does a little bit better but even the best of parents will leave some scars on their children and them in turn will leave some on their children.

    Shit happens it's what you do with it that counts.

  • Crazyguy

    HELL YEAH!!! This cult ruins lives!!!!

  • All or nothing
    All or nothing

    I'm not pissed, but I just want them to realize that they choose to change religions as a young adult, so why is it so hard for them to realize I should be able to make the same choice for my life. This is not the same religion I was baptized in, so I think I should be allowed to just quietly leave and still have unconditional love from them. Some the cult has indoctrinated them to believe otherwise

  • exjwlemming

    Yes, I am pissed that my parents introduced me to this cult. Your parents are suppose to protect you from unhealthy influences until you can protect yourself. My parents really had no need that I can see to join the JW cult. My mom was college educated with a good job. My dad was in the Marines and had a lucrative job and a good career. They were well off. They didn't have any mental issues like many that join. My mom had a good heart and let some "sisters" into her home one day. I remember as a young kid that she use to have this self help book on the shelf titled, "How to say, No." My mom couldn't say no..except to me and my sibling. Well, some "sister" was using her to fill her "time card." After being told to drop her as a study when fast enough progress wasn't being made, she disobeyed and continued studying with her off and on for the next 10 years! Likewise, my father and I were indoctrinated as well. My life was wasted away by the choices that she had made, as well as the choices that were required that I make. I could have done so much more with my interests and talents. Now, her grandchildren are trapped in this cult and they are all required to shun me. They are stuck in dead end menial jobs with a meager education. Even though, I wanted more for my kids, offered more, and could see the org for the joke that it is, the kids were indoctrinated too. The family dynamic is dysfunctional and the family destroyed due to the WTBT$. Yes, I'm pissed.

  • truthseeker

    Gawd yes.

    Thirty years of misery.

    I'm over it now but still get bitter sometimes.

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