What is funny, is they just don't get it!

by Sprocket 25 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Sprocket

    I wanted to pass on a recent experience I had.

    My mother passed away a few months ago. The funeral was poised to be a sensitive issue since, when I left the truth 4 years ago, none of my children (all adults and still active in their faith) have spoken to me. My wife--that's another story--determines it is best to communicate through the inexpensive channel of lawyers.

    I left because I had enough of the hypocrisy, and as an elder, you see far too much. I decided to dissociate myself, which explains my 'leporcerical' demeanor.

    When I found out about my mothers illness, I called and left a message with my daughter. My son called up my father (not me) and said they would come to the hospital. My ex-wife didn't show but instead sent a card along to my mother saying how they..."had been like mother and daughter...and how much my she loved [my] mother...." Yeah, real close but she never called or visited in the last 2 months of my mother’s life. Although, my ex did have time to go to Mexico, arriving the day my mother passed away.

    When my son reached the hospital, he hugged and kissed my family. So did my daughters, but they never looked at me, not once. My son finally came over to me (hard to avoid me standing at my mother's bedside) and said, "Under the circumstances I will shake your hand, but you have choices." I said, " So do you son". Of course, I was taken aback. Even if he is a bethelite, for 27 year old man, you would think that he would have more compassion. Nonetheless, family and friends present were a little stunned by the uncalled for comment.

    Over the next 45 minutes, I tried to be natural: not getting in their way; nor did I hide from them, but gave them some time alone with my mother. Never did my son, two grown daughters (22 and 25), or my daughter's fiancée, talk to me, look at me, or respond when I would casually make a comment. Rather, they literally turned their back when I was near them.

    When my son said they were going, my mother said to him, "Why don't you talk to your father." He responded, " I have made up my choice grandmother to serve Jehovah. If Dad wants to come back, I will accept him.” My mother continued to say, "Didn't Jesus say that, "The person who hasn't had a sin, cast the first stone."" Also, she gave the illustration of the 99 sheep, and the effort and joy in getting the lost sheep. "Was that not about extending compassion?” she finished.

    My son asked me to step outside the hospital room, and proceeded to tell me it was nothing personal but if I continued in my 'state' he would have nothing to do with me. "If I came back to the truth [he] would welcome me with open arms.” No emotion, very matter of fact. I said, "Why am I the only one that must make the move." He went on, and on, and on. I just let him continue speaking. I did not interrupt since I knew he didn't get it. Nor, was this the time or place to engage in this discussion. It still amazes me as I think of it now.

    I thought you might relate to the treatment we seem to receive from those that believe they have the ‘light’. We are treated worse than a criminal or someone plagued with a life-threatening disease.

    Sorry, I was going start out by telling you about what happened at the funeral, and got sidetracked. Maybe I can get to that in another thread.


  • Billygoat

    (((((((((((((((((Sprocket)))))))))))))))))))) I'm so sorry.

  • Holey_Cheeses*King_of_the juice.
    Holey_Cheeses*King_of_the juice.


    Sorry to learn of the very insensitive and disgusting situation which surrounded this period of grief for you, but really, it is very indicative of the Witness mindset regarding those who have broken away from the faith - you are looked upon as scum of the earth.

    I hope your family will realise the error of THEIR ways.


  • crinklestein

    Having no natural love. What did that scripture say about that? I can't remember.

    I would've said, "Ahh, so YOUR love has conditions. Did my love for you ever have conditions?"

  • crinklestein

    Having no natural love. What did that scripture say about that? I can't remember.

    I would've said, "Ahh, so YOUR love has conditions. Did my love for you ever have conditions? Did Jesus' love for us ever have conditions?"

  • Maverick

    You have my condolences, at the loss of your loved ones... all of them, including the Pharisees! Maverick

  • Yerusalyim

    OUCH! Sorry dude, I'd break bread with you ANYTIME!

  • Yerusalyim

    OUCH! Sorry dude, I'd break bread with you ANYTIME!

  • jgnat

    But be certain of this, that in the last days times of trouble will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, uplifted in pride, given to bitter words, going against the authority of their fathers, never giving praise, having no religion, Without natural love, bitter haters, saying evil of others, violent and uncontrolled, hating all good, F alse to their friends, acting without thought, lifted up in mind, loving pleasure more than God; Having a form of religion, but turning their backs on the power of it: go not with these. For these are they who go secretly into houses, making prisoners of foolish women, weighted down with sin, turned from the way by their evil desires, Ever learning, and never coming to the knowledge of what is true. 2 Timothy 3:1-7 (BBE)

    It is beyond cruel what your son did. He did not even hear the kind rebuke of his dying grandmother. I am sure his behavior went beyond what is written even in the Watchtower's materials. I am so sorry.

  • Mystery

    I am sorry to hear about your son and daughters.

    And about your mother passing away.

    I don't believe real love is even in JW's vocabulary. The sad part is that I am sure I will be treated the same way if/when I am DF'd. My dad was an elder, his love was always conditional. I am glad you got out.

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