Someone anonymously tipped the elders?

by raven 70 Replies latest jw experiences

  • StephaneLaliberte

    DJS: I am getting annoyed by your overly condescending tone. Chill a little. All I ask for is a conversation with respect and I get plenty of insults from you.

    I have been on this board for 9 years and you know what? I think I can only remember 2 people who successfully sent a lawyer letter. I am not saying that there can't be more. All I am stating is that obviously, this is not a popular route.

    Like I said, perhaps lying would not work in her area. However, you cannot dismiss the fact that I have witnessed people around me successfully lie their way through elders and JCs. The large majority of JWs get disfellowshipped because they confess. She doesn't have to confess and should not.

  • DJS
    Steph, Ditto.You finally made sense.
  • raven
    Thank you StephaneLaliberte, I think your advice is worth pondering on..
  • raven
    Honestly, I want to avoid the elders.. I don't feel that it is their business digging into my information. I haven't been at meetings in 5 months so this isn't something that "affects the congregation" My fade was more of a drop off the face of the planet type when it came to attending meetings. I just stopped going.. And I don't want to willfully give out my private information in a JC...
  • babygirl30

    So unfortunately, despite you trying to avoid it, Sh*t just got REAL!

    Your mom is technically obligated to 'tell', and believe me, I know how ridiculous it sounds and the reasoning behind it is so convoluted that it's funny. My own father threatened to tell the elders about my 'worldly' boyfriend (back in the day) if I didn't let the man GO...I mean, come on. Do you know how hateful it is to have your own parent try to force you to tell your private business?!

  • raven
    babygirl30, I know what you mean.. I just don't get why my parents would be OBLIGATED.. I would understand if I lived in their home. But I don't. All I wish for is to just be left alone to live my life. I know in my heart I am a good person. I've just essentially told lies to avoid hurting people but Its just unraveled into this mess.
  • Anders Andersen
    Anders Andersen


    Like you said: it's none of their business. Not now. Not ever.

    The fact that cult leaders insert themselves inappropriately in (ex) members' lives based on ancient tales doesn't make it right either.

    Your life. Your decisions. Your business.

    Everyone else (including your mom) should mind their own business.

    Just remember this down the road in case the pressure increases.

  • raven
    Anders Anderson, your statement is spot on.. I shouldn't involve my life with ones who are digging to get into it only to out me for my sins.. It's ridiculous.
  • kairos
    I think your mother is the one stirring all this up.
  • Incognito

    Every action has consequences, sometimes not the ones you are expecting.

    I too suspect your mother is the anonymous tipster but doesn't want to admit it.

    By attending a JC or even answering their questions, you are then demonstrating that you are accountable to them. Even if you did attend and answer their questions, they would likely still decide to DF you, even if you cry and claim repentance, agreeing to change your entire life to conform to their demands.

    If you end-up being disfellowshipped, start to realize it is their club, so membership is entirely by their rules which may change as they see fit.

    If your relationship with your mother is your main concern, also realize that it is entirely her choice if she disregards her relationship with her adult daughter, placing the WT cult above her own flesh and blood. If you were to give-in to conditions to be accepted, that will likely result in more conditions being added as time goes-on.

    With regard to involving a lawyer, often the threat will be adequate, particularly if the threat is directed at the Elders personally, not at the Cong or the WT.

    A legal threat will require the Elders to seek direction from WT but as the threat is not directed at WT or its assets (cong), then WT will often advise the Elders that they are on their own so they may not wish to proceed with the matter especial if you are not identified as a JW in your new area.

    Since you no longer live within those elder's congregation territory, why would they wish to stick their necks-out as legal action would require a legal defense. If WT is not backing them, legal costs would be entirely at each individual elder family's personal expense.

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