baptised nearly 51 years

by Phoebe 58 Replies latest jw friends

  • contramundum

    Welcome, Phoebe

    You will find friends who love and respect you for who you are , not for who they think you should be. Unconditional, non-judgmental friendship, embracing your views not forcing you to conform to their own.

    I admire your courage xx


  • James Jack
    James Jack

    I have been following this thread since you started it. As you can see from the response so far, that many of us have a story similar to yours. This is therapy for all of us, being honest in our feelings, our experiences, our fears etc. And to be able to discuss various subjects without fear of reprisals, is refreshing and empowering to us to break free of the guilt that the Organization places on us for just seeking answers, that they don't want us to have or will admit that they were in error, as well as ruined the futures of many us who "will never grow old", see their dead love ones soon, pioneering is the best retirement,etc."

    If they just admitted their own errors, and not come up with more confusing doctrines such as "Overlapping Generations " to cover their Asses, then blame the Rank and File for having "unfulfilled expectations "(who gave us these expectations?), many of us may have never begun this journey us "seeking the real truth".

  • Phoebe


    I just wanted to reply to you and say I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I share your pain with the PTSD. Are you getting help? My COBE warned me off counseling and then I was told not to mention JWs. They said my psychologist 'had no reason to know anything about that.'

    A lot of your younger life seems to mirror mine. Your father a servant under the old arrangement - mine, too. Especially when you said how you prayed to Jehovah to help you when your parents fought. That was me, too.

    I found it very sad that our parents were receiving all this counsel about how to lead a good life, how to have a happy family...and then not applying one word of it. What was the point of it?

    I was also never allowed any contact with the 'world' If a schoolmate so much has telephoned me at home by father would go mad. School was unbearable.

    Thank you so much for your lovely kind words. It means everything to me to know that I'm not alone.


  • Phoebe

    Thank you everyone for your wonderful welcome, your kind words and encouragement.

    It's a huge comfort to know others have been through similar things.

    One day, I'll try and write a brief history of all that's happened to me. It might be of some help to anyone who has had a similar experience. To know they are not alone.

    Meanwhile, love to you all.


  • Phizzy

    Belated welcome from me too dear Phoebe. I too was born in, in the early 1950's. I was baptized at the tender (know nothing) age of 12.

    I walked away age 58.

    I too took Counselling, and am so pleased I did. My wonderful Therapist understood how to help me cope with suicidal thoughts, and the pain of leaving the only world I knew. Of course, the "religion" was at the root of my problems.

    Life for me and my dear wife is now not totally free of problems, we are old, poor and have lost all our former "friends".

    But the wonderful freedom of thought, the release from all guilt and the sheer pleasure of finding out about the real world make each day a joy !

    I am now happy in my own skin, and a much nicer person than when I was a JW in many ways, we were forced to be so judgmental, prejudiced and condemning of all non-JW's, and of many who were JW's !

    May your life continue to get better, may you find happiness and fulfillment, and joy !

  • zombie dub
    zombie dub

    Welcome Phoebe!

    Sorry to hear about everything you have been through, it's onwards and upwards now though.

    Your brother sounds like a terrible excuse for a human being, you should definitely report him to the police and his fellow upstanding elders and/or hire a hitman :)

  • Tallon

    Hello Phoebe

    First of welcome to the site. I'm sorry to read about the terrible experiences you and your husband have endured. However, many, many people on this site and others like it have endured the same. The forum users have posted excellent advice and all I can say is apply as much of it as is necessary to get you through.

    I too have been to see a counsellor to assist and guide me through my muddled thinking. My only regret is that I did not do it years ago. I could have saved myself much anguish. Let me just state that there is no shame in seeking professional help. Its interesting that Elders in your congregation cautioned you against seeing a counsellor, and if you did, not to mention JW's at all. Very interesting indeed!

    Anyway, forgive my ramblings. This is an excellent website and there are many, many people here who are willing to offer assistance and encouragement in one form or another.

    Best wishes to you and your husband.

  • Phoebe

    Hi Phizzy and Tallon,

    I agree. I am so glad I sought help. I told myself there was no point in seeking help if I wasn't going to be totally honest about everything. So, despite be warned about mentioning the witnesses, I've been very open with my psychologist about everything and that most definitely included my life as a JW. The help I've received from my psychologist has been incredible. It's like a weight has been taken off my shoulders.

    Finally, I am learning to live without fear. I've still a long way to go and I wish with all my heart I had gone years ago. Thank you for your lovely kind words of encouragement .

    James Jack

    I so agree with you!

    Zombie Dub

    I'd like to do all three after what he did to me and his family!

  • LisaRose

    Welcome. I was in for 28 years, you don't have to explain to me why people stay, even when it is a very unsatisfactory way of life. I have been out now for seventeen years, so I can truthfully say there can be life, healing and hope, no matter what.

    Lisa 🌹

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