Selena's Father felt Guilty,,Did we expect bad things to happen to us?

by LyinEyes 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • LyinEyes

    On VH1 last nite they played the Selena movie, I am pretty sure everyone remembers Selena the singer. I wanted to do some research to find out it they really were witnesses and more of their story.

    I read that when Selena was shot, she was dead on arrival at the hospital, but the doctors performed heroic measures to save her life, even giving her 5 blood transfusions.

    When her father got to the hosptial and was told she was gone , even after they tried to give transfusions, he said,,,,,,,,No she wouldn not have wanted blood transfusions. But the doctor said there was no way he knew this,and it didnt matter anyway, there was nothig that could have been done.

    In later interviews, Selena's father Abraham, said that he wondered if they would have pursued spritual things instead of putting her career first , she might still be alive and be dedicated to Jehovah. And that he felt guilt that she is dead because of not doing that, as the head of the house.

    He said that her death cause the whole family to do more with their spirtuality. He said he knows he will see Selena again in the resurrection, that to him it is like she is gone a vacation and not dead.

    I felt really sorry for him , feeling so guilty over something he had no control over, it was a terrible thing that happened , but I just mentioned this because it shows how the WT teaches us to blame ourselves when something bad happens to us. It is like the WT , elders etc. makes us go back and se what we did wrong, to cause something bad happening to us. Did we miss too many meetings, did we give token service, did we not study the bible daily? etc. etc.

    This was an experience given at a circuit assembly I was at a few years ago. I will try to be brief with it. This JW family had kind of slacked on on their meeting attendance and another meeting night was before them. He was tired and the kids were still outside playing , so he decided not to go. His little girl was out riding her bike and was ran over and killed. This brother said, that he will never forgive himself for not being at that meeting, because if he had taken his little girl, she would still be alive, sitting there in the seat next to him.

    Again a sad , terrible accident,,,,,, but somehow we as JW always see any tragedy that befalls us as our fault or preventable by us if only we were putty Jah first above all eles.

    When I heard this experience at the circuits assembly, I was in sobbing tears.......... I thought how terrible this poor man has to go around feeling he killed his daughter in a round about way.

    Have you heard any experiences like this or did you ever feel this way when bad things happened to you as a JW, did you wonder what you had done wrong to cause it?

  • rocketman

    There was a thread posted on a similar topic a while back, but I forget where. But this is interesting Lyin Eyes - I had no idea her dad felt that way.

    I've heard similar stories, and it's a lot of nonsense to me. The girl happened to be riding a bike at the time - now, suppose her dad would have called her in to get ready for the meeting, and in her haste, she was hit by a car then? Heck, once I was in a car accident on the way to a Circuit Assembly. Luckily, we had only minor injuries, but it just goes to show it's all just random events.

    Selena's dad's feeling guilty because his daughter's life was taken by some deranged fan is so sad. He should not need to carry that around at all. It just goes to show the strange thinking that being involved with the jws at any level can promote.

    Thanks for relating this dede.

  • Dansk

    Hi Dede,

    When I lived on the Island of Anglesey, North Wales (west coast of Great Britain), we used to have our circuit assemblies in Llandudno (pronounced Clandidno), about an hour's drive away. The assembly was held in Llandudno Theatre, right opposite the beach. To get to the beach one had to cross a main road and, during the mid-session break, most families availed themselves of the opportunity to sit on the beach and imbibe the fresh sea air. Sadly, a young boy, in his haste to get to the beach, was hit by a car and killed. His family HAD attended the assembly and still this immense tragedy occurred.

    Ecc 9:11 partly says: "Time and unforseeen occurrence befall them all". This, of course, is true - but what galls me is that JWs ALWAYS use it when a "good Dub" gets sick/injured/killed, but when someone who leaves the Borg gets sick/injured/killed it's because they left Jehovah's loving organisation. IMBECILES!


  • caligirl

    My family was in a terrible accident on the way home from an assembly, with very serious injuries to me and to my sister. If we had not made the drive to the assembly that winter day, it never would have happened.

    We had friends who knew a family that was killed when turning into the kingdom hall for a meeting when their car was hit by a tractor trailer truck that they turned in front of. If they had just stayed home that night, or left one minute earlier or later, they would be alive today.

    Accidents happen. No matter where anyone is or what they are doing. It is just that the incidents that happen that would not have occurred had one NOT been going to or coming from meetings are never advertised or repeated as "examples".

  • Joyzabel


    Salena grew up in Houston and when she was 10 sang at our friend's wedding reception. Yes they were JWs at one time. Isn't it sad the guilt that is still felt by people of a cult when bad things happen to them.

    JWs are a group that look for omens and put blame on themselves when they are not meeting up to the "requirements". They take a cirucimstance and make it apply to doing poorly for God.. <shakes head> Sad.


  • rocketman

    Imagine for a moment if Selena would not have been allowed to pursue her eventual singing career. She'd have been, I would guess, frustrated and unfulfilled (though no doubt the best Kingdom-Melodies singer around). So I'm not sure what kind of life that would have been for her.

    She was doing what she loved to do, and as Dansk said, it was a matter of 'time and unforseen occurance'.

  • Gopher

    Rocketman just made a great point. Selena pursued her life dream. Life is to be lived, not feared.

    JW's teach that life is to be feared. Dangers lurk around every corner in their world.

    I heard experiences both ways -- an older JW couple was out in their door-to-door ministry when an airplane crashed nearby, and at least one one of the couple died. It was hailed as an example of "sacrifice", losing one's life while serving Jehovah. Whereas other cited examples purport to show that by being at the meeting or out in the ministry, that a JW was spared from death.

    So they have it covered both ways -- if you die while serving the WT Society, you're canonized. But if you get saved from calamity while serving the WT Society, then Jehovah was supposedly protecting you.

    It's all about manipulating the emotions of their followers to promote service unto the WT Society. It is very disgusting.

  • LyinEyes

    Hearing of these tragedies is very sad,,,,,,,,,, but like someone said, they never give these examples at the assemblies , do they, of folks getting killed on the way to serve Jah.

    It just made me think of the fear factor again, one of the main tools the WT uses to make us submit to all of their rules. For if we do not, we are surely going to come across some terrible tragedy because of not putting Jehovah first.

    It was drilled into our head about our own children and how we are responsible for their lives in Armeggedon, them making it or not.......and they got graphic at times with the fear of this one.

    I really do feel sorry for the R& F JW, they are living sad, even miserable lives, never seeing any happiness, only judging themselves everyday for not doing enough works. If they do fall short they never forgive themselves , they are always trying to reach some goal of unattainable perfection.

    I have personally delt with alot of issues in my exodus from the borg, and fear is probably the worst thing I have encountered, this kind of constant fear was terrible, it played on my mind until I would break down in tears. Now the fear is slowly going away, to where it is just fleeting thoughts and not taking over my mind. I feel that now I have control of my mind , what I allow it to think and now I can make some of the terrible fear go away. I never had this power as a JW . Sometimes I wonder how I could have stayed so long as a miserable witness,,,,,,,mind control and fear I guess.

  • Dansk


    Sometimes I wonder how I could have stayed so long as a miserable witness,,,,,,,mind control and fear I guess.

    I've asked myself that same question a thousand times


  • blondie

    What about when bad things happen to JWs coming and going from assemblies?

    Story last updated at 1:22 p.m. on Wednesday, October 2, 2002

    Lillelid defendant's request for new trial denied

    KNOXVILLE (AP) -- The life sentence of a woman convicted for the roadside murders of a 6-year-old girl and her parents was upheld Tuesday by a state appeals court.

    A three-judge panel of the Court of Criminal Appeals in Knoxville denied an appeal by Natasha W. Cornett, who contended her attorneys were ineffective and that she did not voluntarily or intelligently enter into a plea bargain.

    Cornett was convicted, along with five other young people from eastern Kentucky, of first-degree murder in the 1997 shooting deaths of Vidar and Delifina Lillelid and their daughter, Tabitha. They were each sentenced in 1998 to three consecutive life sentences without the possibility of parole.

    The Lillelids, who were headed home to Knox County from a Jehovah's Witnesses conference in Johnson City, were taken hostage from an Interstate 81 rest area in Greene County, gunned down and left for dead. The couple's 2-year-old son, Peter, was seriously wounded but survived.

    The Kentuckians were caught in the Lillelid van two days later in Arizona.

    The trial court so far has denied five of the defendants post-conviction relief. Cornett is the second of the six to appeal that decision.

    Earlier this month, lawyers for Crystall R. Sturgill argued before the appeals court that their client's plea was flawed because she didn't understand the significance of pleading guilty at the time. A ruling has not yet been issued on that appeal.

    Cornett's attorneys argued a similar case.

    They said Cornett's acceptance of the "package deal" plea bargain -- which required each of the defendants to plead guilty to certain crimes, or none of them could -- was "designed to coerce less culpable individuals to feel responsible for the lives of others."

    But the court disagreed.

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