What are the benifits of DA? Should I DA?

by zucker 37 Replies latest social relationships

  • be wise
    be wise

    Just a question, Warrigal.

    When did you ever dedicate yourself to the WTBTS.

  • Warrigal

    You're right, be wise, I didn't dedicate myself to the WTS...its just that they claim to hold the franchise on Jehovah, Jesus and the Holy spook.

    Part of their indoctrination procedure involved convincing a prospective dub that their FDS class spoke for God and that the prospective dub had to believe every bit of drivel that trickled forth from its collective mouth.

  • be wise
    be wise

    I totally understand where you are coming from. I felt this way myself when I was going to DA myself. I still do feel the way about the society that you described, how couldn't anyone with half a brain. I just came to the conclusion that the society never taught Gods beliefs so they can't judge me on their own standards, they have no authority to do so. That opinion was just mine, though.

    I'm glad you made the decision you did, it was obviously the right one - YOURS.


  • gitasatsangha

    Liability is something to think about. Right now Witnesses are sitting pretty, basically untouchable for most of their crimes, but if some government ever decides to get Malawian on them, I think fader's would be sending in their DA letters in the thousands. Ask yourself do you really want some official connection to this festering, evil, temple/corporation of lies?

  • NaruNaruChan

    Disassociating is considered worse because you are willingly leaving the organization as opposed to being kicked out... however, if you DA, you keep your pride and can say it was your decision to leave. the penalties are the same, basically.

  • gitasatsangha

    Kind of true except that the society automatically DA's some people instead of going through the DF process to cover their ass legally. They use it when comeone gets a blood transfusion, joins the army, or another religion, for instance. Most witnesses are not aware of that fact, but it is slowly dawning on them, so DA and DF are a very blurred area now.

  • shamus

    I faded away, and never looked back! Best thing that ever happened to me.

    Funny thing though - when I first moved away, we went (thats my roommie, who was also a jw, who left with me) to ONE MEETING. Well, we were hanging with a DF'd friend, who was like my best friend. This weiner elder grabs me by the arm, interrogates me, saying things like "did you know that he was disfellowshipped?", and me just saying of course, and how I would talk to him again.

    I never did.

    One day my buddy and I were out for a beer, and that idiot drove by in his cement truck, turns and stares right at us, right through the intersection. I have him the finger, loud and clear, and that was the end of it.

    My advice? Just like the others. Fade away, never EVER talk to anyone about the "truth", give non-compliant answers, like

    "Where have you been lately? We have been missing you at the meetings. Is everything OK?

    You - "Everything is great! I have been very busy with work, and friends." (never, EVER SOUND SAD). "Look, I'll be there probably this week sometime....." The end. Elders come by - act nuts. Just tell them that you are busy and just going out the door. If they don't leave, CLOSE THE DOOR ON THEM. It may suck, but that is the only way that they will get the hint.

    If they ask you point blank, "Do you still want to be a witness?", just counter with a non-committal "What makes you say that? Look, I have to go". It DRIVES THEM NUTS. DON'T GIVE THEM THE SATISFACTION. ALWAYS GIVE THEM MORE QUESTIONS THAN WHEN THEY FIRST CAME TO YOU - you can laugh yourself silly when they are gone.

    At least, thats what I did.

  • Joyzabel

    welcome to the board La-Bellamargarita and good reply.

    I know the jws think that those who leave are weeping and gnashing their teeth. But to show them how happy we are, genuinely happy, they get very confused.

    Living life well is a sweet deal. (revenge and better yet, you love life!)

    I always, well almost always agree with JT. Why play by their rules. Its THEIR rules. You don't owe anyone or anybody an explanation about anything. But you must keep communications open with your family, imho.

    Have fun.


  • zucker

    I've read all the posts and I'm still debating it in my mind. I think that I'm going to just tell my family I don't believe all the bs, and just be done with it. If people ask me when are they going to see me at the meetings again, I will say never. I'm not going to advertise my position but I'm not going to be a coward and pussyfoot around it. If the elders come to DF me for apostasy I won't talk to them. If they put the heat on to meet with me I will DA. That’s the plan, and I'm ready for the consequences of it.


  • Soledad

    I think dedalus and sentinel make good points about the DA issue, I couldnt agree more. In my case I felt that I had to have closure and move on. I wouldn't have been able to do that had I not written that letter. I know I would have experienced more stress and more anxiety if I opted for the slow fade, that's basically what I went through for the couple of months that I was inactive. It felt very liberating to write the Letter. I basically told them what was on my mind, what I thought of their stupid rules and to shove it, politely. I had the last word, not them.

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