My Dad wants to study with me

by BlackWolf 53 Replies latest jw friends

  • BlackWolf

    His wanting to study with me wasn't really a question, I doubt we will get through the whole book anyways. I know he is just doing it for his ego, he normally ignores me anyway. I've never been very close to my dad (he works a lot plus elder duties), but I still love him. It feels bad disappointing my parents, even though I really hate them sometimes. I will have to study with him, and I will be honest about any doubts I have. I can't keep pretending anymore. I think they know deep down that I don't want to be a Jehovah's witness, I've never been very "zealous" or enthusiastic about the religion, even when I was a little kid. However, my little sister has. She has always done exactly what was expected and got baptized when she was 11, now that I am nearly 18 and everyone else my age is baptized people are suspicious. I have no friends and people treat me like an outcast. I think it's time for me to just be honest (hopefully in a non confrontational way) and if worse comes to worse maybe one of my non jw relatives will let me stay with them. I know that my dad thinks he is doing what is best for me, but in reality it just makes my life feel so worthless.

    Anyways as always I appreciate everyone's support and advice, it really helps me not feel so alone.

  • Arthur Others
    Arthur Others

    Don't get baptized. That would be my advice. Like others here have said, if you study with your father who has anger issues it's just going to get worse. This is about him pushing a "time limit" on when you're going to get baptized. I think it depends on the type of Elders you have in your hall, but if you feel comfortable with them, tell them you feel pressured to get baptized and you don't feel ready. They may talk to your dad and he'll feel embarrassed and back off. Your dad forcing you to get baptized is going to kick start the baptism questions, but if you tell the Elders beforehand you're not ready, they won't even ask you the baptism questions no matter what your parents say.


    His wanting to study with me wasn't really a question.....BW

    It never is with a JW Parent..

    I will have to study with him,

    You never had a choice..

    I know that my dad thinks he is doing what is best for me,

    No he`s not..

    He`s doing what`s best for him..

    if worse comes to worse maybe one of my non jw relatives will let me stay with them.

    I would call them now and move regardless..

    WBT$/JW BullShit never ends..

    Appearances are everything in WatchTower World..

    It`s time to go into Survival Mode..

  • Spiral

    So sorry Black Wolf that you are going through this. As a son, and almost 18, I'm sure your Dad is feeling pressure within himself that you need to be baptised to make him look good.

    Alas, sometimes as parents we THINK we are doing something for the benefit of our children, but in fact it is for OUR benefit. I feel this is the case, he just wants to look good in front of the congregation. He has anger issues because he feels he looks bad .....

    But that is HIS problem. You shouldn't get baptised and shouldn't feel pressured. Of course, you do feel pressured. I am hoping you have a plan when you turn 18 (and PLEASE may it include higher education!!!!!)

    The truth of the matter is there's not much you can do to ease your Dad's discomfort, but in the end, you can't mess up your life to make him feel better.

    Do whatever you need to do to survive in some comfort until you can be independent. Your Dad may come around in time, but he may not. But, as I said, it's his problem not yours.

    I am a mother and when Son of Spiral said "No way!" it woke me up (totally). Perhaps it will happen that way with your parent(s). I really hope so, but your choice is YOUR choice.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once
    A little anger now is better than getting baptized and kicked out then listening to his pressure to return for ever! Just deal with it with honesty.
  • Vanderhoven7

    Tell your Dad that you feel that studying with him will just be to increase pressure to be baptized....and that you do not want to be pressured. When you feel ready for a study you will let him know.

  • schnell

    @dubstepped, Shit! I accidentally disliked your comment! No no no, I completely agree.

    I would do whatever I could to get out of the study, absolutely don't get baptized, and follow Village Idiot's advice.

  • Steel

    Just tell him you feel the baptismal vows feel more like a legalistic document to extort you than and an actual dedication to god. Any decision will be make once i am legally an adult and not living in this house.

    Just count the days till you are 18 and get on the first bus to North Dakota. There are lots of jobs there.

  • nelim

    Use his anger against him next time, if God's spirit can't help him to control anger, then this is not for you.

  • iwasblind

    Hi Blackwolf

    Their teaching is so far removed from scripture if you stick to the bible you might convert him.

    Here is what I would do:

    • Take the study but only as a "bible" study not a book study
    • Make you Dad answer everything from the scriptures but make him read the whole context of each scripture when he does - most times the scripture is misapplied and unravels when you read the chapter.
    • Only ask bible questions - there is a bunch of questions you could answer to not get his "apostate" radar activated.
    • Also see if he would help you research other religions, there are some vids on people escaping the brethren that really could get him thinking about the JW's.
    • Start reading the greek scriptures from another translation - that will be the "reason" you are asking questions.

    Here are some don'ts:

    • Stay away from bashing the GB - he will just get defensive
    • Stay away from stupid doctrine like the FDS - they will never see it. Keep to bible translation and scriptures about Jesus.

    I am sure more learned people here could supply you with questions, but PM me if you want mine.

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