My Dad wants to study with me

by BlackWolf 53 Replies latest jw friends

  • BlackWolf

    So my parents continue to pester me about getting baptized. The other day my Dad told me that I was old enough to make a decision, and was wondering why I wasn't ready (assembly is in a few weeks) so I told him calmly that I have many doubts and if I were to get baptized it has to be 100 percent my idea. He was a little annoyed by this, and now wants to study the "Is there a creator that cares about you" book (which is complete bs) with me. I'm not sure if I should just go along with whatever he says and then be expected to get baptized, or if I should try to bring up some doubts I have about the book which may cause problems (my dad has anger issues). What would you do?

  • never a jw
    never a jw

    Time to challenge your Dad. Take the study, but always prepare tough questions in advance. Come to the forum and get advice regarding those questions. Always be respectful and subtle, and don't make it obvious that you are visiting apostate sites. This may end up being the solution to your problems. Freedom may lie ahead, after few tough questions to your Dad.

  • sir82

    How about study, but persistently bring up questions that JWs simply don't have answers for?

    If you go that route, and you don't want to get tossed out of the house as an "apostate", the key is to do so "respectfully". I.e., you're not openly hostile, it's just "I don't see how this can be. Help me understand it."

  • skimthesurface

    Maybe you should accept the offer of study (display a humble, meek attitude) and, as you're going through the book, then voice/raise any concerns or objections or doubts that you may have. That way you've got a reasonable grounding for expressing what you think, along with kosher material in black and white that can't be argued against and will be a useful point of reference. But please don't make any commitments or bow to any ultimatums you make be given.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    you could always show your dad this forum.

  • Finkelstein

    If you are thinking BlackWolf that in the future you are going the leave the JWS all together, don't get baptized.

    Once you do your subjected to being DFed, which means your parents and any JWS relatives wont ever talk to you or associate with you.

    That's some serious shit as they say.

  • tepidpoultry

    Tell the elders you don't want to get baptized but are being pressured,

    Nobody will baptize you,

    However you will have to face your father and his anger issues,

    Maybe the elders will talk to him and that might help (?)

    Too many unknowns,

    Good luck


  • Crazyguy

    Study but find ways to ask those tuff questions that he can't answer. Do it in the best way you know how not to piss him off to badly.

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    Like others have said, go ahead and study with your Dad but subtly bring up questions pertaining to your doubts during the study. Whenever a scripture is quoted in the paragraph, ask him to read it along with the surrounding verses and to explain to you how the context in which the scripture was written, applies to today. Be prepared in advance to know what scriptures will be used and what the surrounding scriptures were originally talking about. Sometimes in the process of trying to explain things to others, people become aware of how lame their explanation is. You don't have to refute anything, just let him listen to his own words. That way you let him save face and he won't get backed into a corner and have to stick to his guns even if he sees the flaws in his own logic.

    I'd also ask your Dad why you need to study a book and can't just study straight the Bible together, after all, Jesus didn't study books with people before he baptized them. Where in the Bible does it say you have to study books and answer 2 questions before getting baptized? Don't try to refute what he says about this, just listen to his answer.

  • Village Idiot
    Village Idiot

    You mentioned before that your father has anger issues. That means that you should not study with him at all since it will aggravate both you and him.

    Does he have "explosive rage" where he shouts at the top of his lungs instantly for no good reason? If so, then count the days until you're 18.

    Be prepared to have a job by then and find a roommate ahead of time.

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