My Memorial Experience-not so good

by wednesday 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • Francois

    I'm very sorry that your husband and yourself were treated in such a shabby, however predictable, fashion. Humans are going to stratify themselves into different classes based on something, aren't they? Every human seems to need to feel superior to somebody. It might be helpful if your husband could realize that those people are responding to their own feelings of personal inadequacy, and they are over-compensating and breaking The Master's Law of Love in the process. He only left two laws, and those JWs last night were blithely breaking the one that said, " your neighbor as yourself." Of course, they would argue that you and he arent' their neighbors, but that argument lunges at straws.

    What is it that your husband wants from the JWs? Personal acceptance? That can come from somewhere else, you know. Since real religion takes place between your ears, and organized religion is merely a social repurcussion of the spiritual urge, acceptance can be found elsewhere. I have been seriouly thinking about becoming informally associated with the Episcopal Church simply and solely for its social aspects. I certainly don't think that all that sitting and standing and kneeling and rote performance of ritual, and singing, and listening to a priest rattle on has anything to do with enhancing spirituality. That, as noted, happens between my ears.

    Would your husband ever consider sticking his toe into some other water? There will be some sort of class system in any organized group, but I don't think the Episcopal faith could be characterized as a scripture-twisting prophecy mill that can't get it right. And they are very liberal. You often see a conservative family sitting primly on a pew dressed to the nines, right next to more evangelically-motivated family who dress for the bowling alley, have their eyes closed, their palms upraised, and the verbal out-loud praise of Jesus upon their lips. And all are accepted. As I said, I think I'm gonna go give it a try just for its social aspects. I can be very lonely on the mountain.

    There are variouis ways in which humans can react and respond to the spiritual urge. Perhaps your husband would respond favorably to something in a little less tight-assed cult.


  • Shakita

    So sorry wednesday that you and your husband are feeling so confused right now.

    My husband and I have been inactive for over a year now. We were invited to go to the memorial by a family member who is still active. I just couldn't go. The thought of going back and wasting more precious moments of my life, nauseated me. My husband did go. Since I had to work last night, I didn't really get a chance to ask him how it went. But, I really don't think that he will be rejoining the ranks of the JW's again soon.

    I really feel for your husband. We, too, were unofficially shunned by a congregation years back. I have never in my life seen a more self-important, self-absorbed, critical bunch of people in all my life. So, after many years of waiting on Jehovah, we changed halls. But, you see, the people might have changed, but the rules did not. Same rules, just now different people enforcing them. The problem doesn't lie in the people, the problem lies in the organization. No matter how many times you change congregations, you will still encounter the same problems. If the WT is right, and you will know God's true organization by "the way they show love among themselves", then the WTBS is not it.

    All my best to you both.

    Mrs. Shakita

  • Mary

    ".......jesus did talk about "the other sheep". does that not indicate 2 different hopes?...."

    Actually, Jesus was more than likely talking about the Gentiles as "the other sheep." At that time, only Jews were following Jesus, but He knew that others would also be "gathered." There is nothing in Jesus' words that would indicate two different hopes. He said "they will become ONE flock with one Shepperd." This strongly indicates that both Jews and Gentiles would have the same calling.

    Brother Russell actually endorsed that idea to a certain degree. He believed that the Great Crowd would also go to heaven along with the 144,000. I believe it was Judge Booze Rutherford, who almost seemed to have a hatred of anyone he didn't personally approve of, that decided to change the calling of all Christians.................not that Jehovah changed his mind, only that some self-serving jackass named Rutherford did.

  • Witch Child
    Witch Child

    Oh Wednesday, I'm so sorry. What a "loving brotherhood" huh? Big cyber hugs to you and your husband. ~Witch

  • cruzanheart

    (((((wednesday & husband))))) I'm so sorry it was a bad evening, and I can't add much to what Chris said. It's hard to leave something you have been a part of for so long. Last night should strengthen you because it proves yet again that you are doing the right thing by staying away. Your husband isn't there yet. Give him lots of love and support and let him think things through. Maybe a word here and there; for example, it's a nice thought that if he just changes congregations things will be great, but the organization teaches that they are a "united brotherhood," so if it's the truth they would be consistently nice everywhere, don't you think? And, trust me, the roofers down in Lancaster/DeSoto are just as stuck up as the Carrollton/Plano Lexus crowd.

    Last night I got very busy on some outside projects I've been meaning to do, and I saw the moon starting to come up, as big and bright as the one in "Joe vs. The Volcano." I hadn't seen one that pretty in years, so I went inside, pried the children away from the TV, and took them upstairs to the game room, which has a window facing the east. We sat in the dark looking at the moon, and I told them the story of that Passover night in 33 when Jesus made a covenant with his apostles for a kingdom. This was the first time in my life that I didn't go to a Memorial, and it felt weird yet peaceful inside. I feel closer to Jehovah and Jesus on my own, without a religion to get in the way, at least for now. I thought about attending a Greek Orthodox Easter service, just to see what it's like (since my grandfather was a Greek Orthodox priest), but it starts at 10:00 p.m. on April 25 and goes until -- whenever! I think I'll pass. Maybe another year . . . .

    Love & hugs,


  • mouthy

    I am sorry also for the UN loving treatment you got. I wouldnt go to a Memorial again as it is apostasy againt truth. When Jesus was talking about the other sheep he was talking about the Gentiles ( to the Jews) If you read the scriptures in context with out the books. You will see the great crowd was in heaven before the throne( Rev 19 :1 )I believe when you allow the emblems to pass you bye you are saying "NO Thank I dont need a ransom"Jesus said IT IS FINISHED!!!!! What was finished? It is quite obvious it was works, He had paid it all. For anyone who wants Him 2nd Corth 13:5,6. Test uour self is Jesus Christ IN you (not in union) IN You!!!! So if you want a drop of wine & a matza Invite him IN you ....I did Its being Born again ((((Running like heck from the sticks & stones to follow))Ouch one hit me!

  • wednesday

    I want to thank u all for the loving replies . As i said, i more or less expected the reaction we got, but my husband is still clinging to hope.


    my husband is not really looking for a social group. he's a serious person and has educated himself. He sincerely still believes that jehovah is God and jesus is his son and that most of what the jws teach is truth. however, he feels that people who claim to serve God, should welcome all.He comes from a small cong. in his youth that was close and he does not understnd the lack of closeness among our cong. he disagress with DF and shunning. he also feels the works the bible speaks of are more of helping other people , and giving of oneself-not peddling mags.In short, he feels jehovahs org has become corrupt and he thinks jehovah may have to correct it.He is not really surprised by the class distinctions, he just hoped against all odds that jehovahs people were different.

    after the Memorial, we went to Chilies for a drink and then saw our grandkids.

    Thank u all for your suport. it jmeans a lot to me. and i am going to read your replies to lmy husband this weekend.

  • BluesBrother
    however, he feels that people who claim to serve God, should welcome all.

    Quite right too. We have associated with 6 congs over theyears and now I go along only to support my wife . It is a fact, that Nice Area = snooty cong. : Rougher Area = warmer, more lively cong . If it were really spirit directed truth , then I believe it would be consistant. You are right in thinking that the Spanish bros would probably be more welcoming

    But all in all, it is beliefs that matter most . I think other posters have done a good job in discussing John 10 ; 16. The other beliefs have to stand up , but do they ????/

    I am sorry that you had a dissappointing evening. Ours was not great either. Perhaps it will help your husband see the truth about the truth . Try and get him to read "Crisis of Conscience" - that should open his eyes . Best wishes .

  • rocketman

    HI Wednesday,

    I'm sorry that the evening did not go very well, though I am not surprised. Also, the "other sheep" explanation given here makes sense from the historical and biblical standpoint.

  • Analysis

    Jesus was more than likely talking about the Gentiles as "the other sheep."

    Please explain then the scripture at Revelation 20:4 through 20:7. It clearly shows a Ruling Class during the 1,000 years. But, it also states that the rest will not be resurrected until after the 1,000 years are over. Which in itself causes problems with JW doctrine.

    I agree the Bible does teach two classes. But, it is not clear to me that Jesus did not intend for all to partake of the emblems.

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