My Memorial Experience-not so good

by wednesday 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • wednesday

    Well i just got back form the Memorial, and well it was not all loving and warm like scobbysnax had.

    Two or three couples spoke to us, not one elder. An elder came up to some people who had apparently just showed up for the first time, and they were all over them. they did not even acknowledge us.We were generally ignored. it hit my husband hard. he told me he feels conflict. Part of it is the area we are in. My husband and i are from decent working class people.Not people who hung out in bars or bowling alleys, ( stuff u might associate with rednecks) but people who worked hard and went to chruch on sunday.. The people in our cong. are upper mangement people, people who go to Italy for vacations. I do not begrudge them that, but we have little in common. My husband thinks maybe if we lived in a less affluent area, we might fare better. I felt so sorry for him , he saw the spanish cong coming in after us, and they were driving much less fancy cars-and he said"we could fit in there".I could have cried for him. Clinging on to anything. And it is not like we were dressed tacky. We looked as good or better than some. It's his job. he does not fit with the brothers. he's an intelligent man that never went to college. Bu the is well read. But he does not fit with this group.Now i feel so bad for him. this is the only religion he's ever known , and at the very best, they are no different than any other religion.

    One thing i did think about during the "talk". I know i could never disrupt a meeting. I still believe in jehovah. I would not want to disrespect a house of worship. Also, maybe someone who is versed in the bible can help me here. jesus did talk about "the other sheep". does that not indicate 2 different hopes? Other than that the talk was dry.

    I swear this is like going to a high school reunion. Nerve wrecking.

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex


    I'm so sorry sweetie. I know it's hard for you (and hubby) right now, but you both are between worlds at the moment and until the final break is made it's going to be tough.

    My last meeting was November 1989. Oh I went a couple of times to help Nina with the kids, but I tuned out. I didn't cut the emotional cords until just a couple of years ago. I remember when I first told Nina I wouldn't go to Memorial. That was a big deal to both of us since her dad always partook. After I did that though, things became clearer and I began to feel better about myself day by day.

    I see you in that situation right now. Your hubby is just starting to realize there is a problem. So the two of you are in different places right now. Continue to travel along your path, but if you can, wait for him. I waited 14 years for Nina and it has worked out for us. Nina hung on very stubbornly for years before she finally gave up.

    Now I'm not saying you should go through your marriage the way things have been the last few months (with hubby "shunning" you). You need to continue to work to extract yourself out of that organization not only physically but in your heart and your gut. You know? But I think you two can maybe begin to reach an understanding about the organzation.

    I just wish you were a little closer and I'd give you a big hug. I think you need one right now.

  • ApagaLaLuz

    I'm sorry Wednesday your experience was not so pleasant. When I read Scooby's post I couldnt help but think how they were on their best behavior. Everyone knows that the memorial will have "worldly" visitors as well as inactive ones. So you go out of your way to be a perfect example. Make everyone feel so welcome. That's the point of the memorial. That, and to get a new outfit. Oh yeah, and something about Christ dying for our sins. But next year may I suggest celebrating the memorial the way I did. I got my hair done, went shopping, read the last supper and Christ's death passages to my nephew, for the cultural aspect. Then had a hearty dinner at Sizzler with my best DF'd friend. No stress here luv.


  • Ed
    jesus did talk about "the other sheep". does that not indicate 2 different hopes?

    Note that his next words were "those also I must bring", and not "those will be staying right here while we go off somewhere else".

  • wednesday

    Big Tex , I thinks my hubbby needs the hug more than me. I knew this is how it would be. he still had hope. I hated to see it dashed to pieces. . A couple of people nearly knocked me down. one lady sat in my seat talking to a potential convert , while i stood waiting to sit down .Can't u just see jesus doing that?

    I told him i would have felt just as good going to a jewish synogoge(sp) to celebrate the passover.Or to the grace luthern church next door to celebrate Easter.Or the catholic church to take comunion.

    edited so i could not be identifed by anyone that might have been there

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex
    I hated to see it dashed to pieces.

    Me too. It's funny, you don't mind it so much when it's you but when you see it happen to someone you love it's a little different. Sorry bunch of people who refuse to acknowledge your surgery if you ask me.

    I hate to see Nina cry. It just rips me up. But I remember when she really began to realize that this was not where she should be she really broke down. She kept saying she wanted to see Jennie give her first talk and see them both baptized, etc. All those little Witness dreams. Not to be.

    As I say, it hurts but a little pain now is better than a lot of pain later.

  • Satanus

    *** Rbi8 John 10:16 ***


    "And I have other sheep, which are not of this fold; those also I must bring, and they will listen to my voice, and they will become one flock, one shepherd.

    Yes, there were other sheep. The verse says that they join jesus' original flock and become one flock. The wt has it backwards. They say that their one flock splits into two; one heaven bound, one stuck on earth. See?

    After they all become one, he says they would all listen to his voice. What would result from listening to his voice? Why eating his body and drinking his blood, of course (plus all kinds of miracles). I'm not into drinking blood myself (even symbolically), but anyway, there's my input.


  • ozziepost
    jesus did talk about "the other sheep". does that not indicate 2 different hopes?

    Not at all, Wednesday. It's simply the jews and the gentiles being spoken of. Jesus came firstly to the jews and so he said "but I have other sheep not of this fold (the jews)".

    Simple, really. Nothing like as hard to understand (or explain) as the Borg makes out.

    Cheers, Ozzie

  • bebu
    jesus did talk about "the other sheep". does that not indicate 2 different hopes?

    It's odd that not only the JWs but other cultic groups like to milk this verse to their own advantage. Here's some more parts of the Bible that clarify that Jesus was telling the Jews that the other sheep were the gentiles:

    ISA 49:6 he says:
    "It is too small a thing for you to be my servant
    to restore the tribes of Jacob
    and bring back those of Israel I have kept.
    I will also make you a light for the Gentiles,
    that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth."

    ACTS 10:45 The circumcised believers who had come with Peter were astonished that the gift of the Holy Spirit had been poured out even on the Gentiles. [...It's starting to hit the disciples now...]

    RO 1:16 I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile.

    EPH 2:11 Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth and called "uncircumcised" by those who call themselves "the circumcision" (that done in the body by the hands of men)-- [12] remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. [13] But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ. [14] For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, [15] by abolishing in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace, [16] and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility.

    There are a few other verses, but this'll do. In sum, there's much better Biblical support for the other sheep being Gentiles, rather than second-class folks left to pasture the earth.

    I'm very sorry about the whole incident--sorry that these folks were so insensitive to your husband. Sorry that your husband was left to feel inadequate. I hope that this experience will be a catalyst for your husband, that he will start to 'get it'. I agree so much with Tex. His posts are SO right on! Pour out your heart to Jehovah about your dear husband, too, and just commit this all to Him. I'm sure He'll comfort you while he works in your husband's heart.



  • Fe2O3Girl

    (((((Wednesday))))), ((((((((Mr. Wednesday))))))))

    So sorry to hear you had an unhappy evening.

    "I give you a new commandment: love one another; you must love one another just as I have loved you. It is by your love for one another, that everyone will recognise you as my disciples."

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