Man....it makes me just want to cry a tear to hear you two just a lovin each other. (I really mean that katie and dede)
Gumby
Considered Suicide ?
by Guest 77 64 Replies latest jw friends
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LyinEyes
Katie thanks for the kind words,,,,,,,,, what matters most to me right now is being the best wife and mother I can be. If you ask my kids what they think of me ,,,,,,,,,,lol........ they will say, she is looney, she is crazy, she acts like a teenager , she gets on my nerves....etc. etc. but I am sure they will say they do love me deeply and they know I love them even more. I know I can't be a perfect June Clever type mom, and really that is just not me,,,,,, but if they can grow up half way normal and happy and have good memories of their childhood I will feel blessed.
I am sure Katie you are a wonderful help to your sister , when you can help..........that illness she has is probably the worst one I can think of, it has to be so scarey for her. I bet you are her rock and her comfort.
I have seen pictures of you Katie and you even look like the one friend that my mom had,,,, the one who d/a herself ....but even thou they didnt speak anymore, Mama still communicated with her thru the grapevine, of her relatives and saw her at stores etc. and always smiled. I have oftened wondered if they did speak from time to time , although I didnt know it. Patti, that was her name, was a great friend and too down to earth to stay a JW,,,,,,,,,,,it was too bad that there are not more caring souls in the congregations,,,,,,,Even if there are ,,,,,, they can't really do enough sometimes because of what the JW's stand for,,,,,,,,,, they teach to not love yourself, push yourself , go in service etc. and never really try to help a person with the here and now problems. I guess people can only keep putting off their emotional distress until armeggedon gets here,,,,only to have it blow up in their faces one day. I think that is what happened with my mom,,,,,,,,,,she just got so darn tired of waiting.
I know they have so many talks and WT articles about tiring out,,,,,,,,not giving up,,,,,, people are not just sick of waiting for armeggedon to get here, they are sick of the here and now they have to endure. The reason they are tiring out is they are beginning to wonder if the WT is wrong about it all after all,,,many now living will never die kind of talk,,,,,,,,and yet the see themselves getting older and all their friends are dying.
Gumby , It warms my heart too to see so many here who connect and help each other thru this journey we call, " getting the heck out of dubdumb",,,,what a wonderful journey it has been so far.
Hugsssssss to all...........Dede
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gumby
Hugsssssss to all...........Dede
Dede,
I don't think it would be a stretch to say this site may have saved a few lives. The help given here I don't feel could me matched anywhere for the type of situations we deal with. Katie and yourself help make it such a place
Gumby
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wildfire
WILDFIRE HERE MAN AM I GLAD I CAME HERE ,,,,,, HAVENT BEEN HERE FOR AWHILE AND NOW I KNOW THAT WAS AND IS A BIG MISTAKE,,,,, JUST LAST NIGHT A FRIEND I HAVE KNOWN FOR OVER 20 YRS COMES BY TO """"" ENCOURAGE ME""""""",,,,,,,,,WELL GUESS WHAT AFTER SHE HEARD WHY I AM NOT GOING TO MEETINGS AND AFTER TELLING HER I SUFFER FROMMM FIBROMYALGIA AND OTHER PAINS....SHE GETS UP IN TRUE ""JW FASHION.", STARTS TELLING ME I AM AN EVIL APOSTATE,,,,, AND MY TIME IS COMING AND WELL YOU GET THE PICTURE,,,,OH YA AND THE LAST LOVING COMMENT FROM MY FAIR WEATHER FRIEND......YOU KNOW ALL THOSE DRUGS YOU ARE TAKING ARE FROM THE DEVILLLLLL ....... SO I WAS VERY UPSET AND YES I HAVE ATTEMPTED SUICIDE MORE THAN 3 TIMES ....AND THIS BITCH KNOWS THIS AND THIS IS HOW SHE TALKS TO ME........ AND SHE KNOWS HOWW MY """ ANNOINTED EX TREATED ME AND MY KIDS..........WELL I KNOW I AM RAMBLING BUT I REEALLY NEEDED SOME ONE AT THAT MOMENT SO I CALLED A REALLL GOODD TRUE FRIEND TO COME OVER AND TAKE ME SOME WHERE AND HE DID ,,,,,,, (HES AN EX WITNESS WITH SIMILIAR HORROR STORIES......) IF HE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN THERE TO HELP ME ,,, I MAY NOT BE WRITING THIS RIGHT NOW........BUT I COULDNT SLEEP SO I WOKE UP AND DECIDED TO VISIT MY ONLY TRUE INVISIBLE FRIENDS ,,,,,,I WAS THINKING OF HURTING MYSELF.....BUT AFTER READING ALL THE GREAT TRUE CONFESSIONS ,,, I KNEW I JUST HAD TO SHARE,,,, AND VENT ,,,,,,THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY LIFE AND MY SANITY ,,,,,, I LOVE YOU ALLL AND CRAIG ,,,, I WILL TRY AND ADOPT YOUR MINDSET,,,, THOSE BASTARDS ARENT GOING TO GET ME DOWN...............
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Guest 77
Wildfire, I'm glad you stopped bye and shared your thoughts. It amazes how people like the witnesses talk about a loving God and and the wonderful things he has in store for those that love him, can be so INSENSITIVE!
I experienced an insensitive treatment and that was the cue for me to leave and I haven't been back. Genuine love is not a game.
Guest 77
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DanTheMan
As long as my family is alive (my sister & bro-in-law, mom & dad) and I am able to stay gainfully employed, I won't do it. Take out one or both of those things and it starts looking like a valid option. I don't consider it to necessarily be something grossly immoral. Just a way out if things get too bad.
If I get to be 40 years old and am still single, still working jobby jobs, still wondering what might have been, well at that point I'd have to start seriously considering if my continued existence would serve any purpose.
I've really been questioning the value of existence lately. I joined JW's because I found their antisocial theology to be attractive. I still have strong anti-human feelings. People are rotten, JW or not!!!! Darwin was right, life is a brutal, dog-eat-dog fight to survive. It is a fight that I find very wearisome at times, as I am not a fighting type of person.
Also, I think that there are many worst-case scenarios that realistically could happen in our world, such as nuclear warfare, bioterrorism, asteroid collisions, and other such things that could be so horrific that they would reduce the portion of humanity that was unfortunate enough to survive to an animal existence. I feel that if something like this were to happen, suicide would be a very sane way to get out of a world gone insane.
I sometimes wonder if humanity as a whole is suicidal, and will one day succeed.
Dan, feeling-a-little-down class
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Brummie
I attempted it at age 12 or 13, was saved by my worried mother! Thought about it again years later when exiting the JWs and couldnt cope with the adjustments of life on the outside of the borg, strange how a "loving" religion can leave us thinking of suicide as an option.
IMO suicide of a healthy person is selfish, the people left behind have to deal with the aftermath, there are always other ways to deal with things. I wouldnt even consider it now and am glad my early years attempts failed.
Someone mentioned the memorial, my good freinds brother committed suicide while his entire family were at the memorial in 1986. They came home to find him dead, he was 16 yrs old and was raised a JW. I always think of this when I hear about the memorial.
This is an interesting but sad thread.
Brummie
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Guest 77
I agree with you Brummie, this thread is interesting and sad, but soooooo thruthful.
Dantheman, do recreational activities interest you? What is it that you would like to do?
Guest 77
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Nomad Soul
I was born in the "truth". Well I"m 19, when I was 15 and 16 I fell into a great depression, I don't think it was because of the JW , or my religion, I was very "spiritual, I think I just didn't fit in the congregation nor the "outside world". But I'm a daydreamer, that's what kept me alive when I thought about suicide.
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flower
Mystery you said:
Flower - why is your situation depressing? I am asking because my son, 15, is being diagnosed with manic depression. I need help! Can you please enlighten me?
I have had major problems with coming to deal with JW's being a false witness. My son was not brought up as a JW, but he is depressed.
Could you possibly enlighten me on depression? I thought I knew but apparently I am totally ignorant on the subject.---thoughts just pop into my head sometimes and I have found myself just wishing I had succeeded when I had the chance since its no longer an option.----
My son has tried. I can not consede to losing him. Pleae help me understand. Please help me help him. I can not bare to lose him.
Please,
DeborahUnfortunately, I am in no position to give advice on overcoming major depression but maybe something I say will help. For me there are too many reasons to name as to why I feel this way but none of them are valid reasons for allowing my pain to eat me alive. I lied when I said my depression was situational. I am of the belief that my depression is self induced. Its a safe place where I've always been since I was your sons age and its the only place I know. That probably doesnt make sense to you. It was put bes in a book I am reading which calls depression an 'addiction'. That is so true! I know that it is simply wallowing in pity and I really hate that I do it, yet even wanting to stop it is the most difficult thing to overcome. Over and over I make emotional mountains out of tiny bumps in the road of life and then I look back and say 'geez i felt so bad over that and it was nothing'. And just like a drug addict or alcoholic each time I succumb to 'the beast' I beat myself up make it even worse. I can say that I get stronger each time and realize each time that I am being ridiculous in my assesment of myself, my abilities and my life. I dont doubt that I will overcome and be the person I dream of being. One day I will stop sucking the life out of the world around me and will start giving back and that will make me truly happy.
My advice to you in dealing with your son is be there for him constantly. Let him know you love him and that no matter what he has to say you will listen. And get him professional help. Also the best thing you can do for the both of you is to educate yourself on the subject. There are tons of books and informational websites out there. It takes time but you can learn about what this disease is and how to treat it. Drugs are not the only answer but they do help when necessary. Hospitalization is sometimes necessary. If you value your sons life..do whatever it takes to get him through. I have a feeling he will thank you one day.
Flower