Yes, I have thought about it, in times past, because I was so torn trying to live this life as it was. I wanted it to change, but I didn't know what to do. But, I really didn't want to die. I just wanted to feel "better".
Suicide is just "leaving" all that deep hurt and pain behind, whether it be emotional, mental, or physical. Struggling to find another alternative while living day to day, is usually too difficult--too complex.
My first husband talked of suicide, and eventually carried through with it. The topic came up many times during our troubled marriage, as I struggled to help him. The problem was, he didn't want to "go alone", which was a frightening scenario, which eventually led to me leaving him to save myself and my son...literally. He would always say it was a terrible thing to do to the ones left behind.....but, he ended up doing that very thing. He was then dead and gone, but his surviving family were left with so much heartache and sadness.
It's a personal choice. A desperate choice...You can physically stop them time and time again, you can put them away in an institution, you can give them medication, but if that is what they want to do, they will eventually find a way to do it.He was only 33 years old.