Considered Suicide ?

Guest 77

After reading about the two JW's committing suicide and larc's comments, how many of us have considered suicide? I saw a movie about a man trying every trick in the book to committ suicide and failed. It got to the point in the movie that you know his next new attempt would fail.

Most likely some people prefer to die without committing suicide. The feeling of unworthiness and not belonging can certainly trigger thoughts of suicide. Personally, I don't want to be a burden on my kids to take care of me if I can't take care of myself. I choose to die in my sleep.

Guest 77

rebel

Hi Guest 77,

I have considered suicide many times - I made a pretty good attempt at it once but only ended up being sectioned for months by a bunch of moronic doctors.

I still seriously consider it - I often think of it as a way out if things ever get too bad - it's a bit like my security blanket - something I know I can do when I can no longer bear life any more - it gives me a strange sense of security which will sound really weird to some of you. It's really hard to explain. It isn't directly connected to being a JW, although that hasn't helped. I just suffer from severe bouts of depression on and off - I have done since I was in my early teens. I was always made to feel a failure as a JW because of my depression - it was implied that my faith was weak and I didn't pray enough, study enough, wasn't submissive enough.......you get the picture.

I really feel for that couple who commited suicide. It is so sad when living is no longer an option - I can honestly say I know how they must have felt. To get to that stage of despair is really the pits.

xxR

mackey

I never considered suicide until I fell In love with a Jehovah's Witness.Seeing how her life Is being controlled and being unable to reach her has caused a sadness In me that Is unbearable. knowing the real "truth" and not being able to show her Is a burden I will have to carry with me my entire life.The only thing that keeps me here Is the love my parents and my unwillingness to hurt them.

Guest 77

Rebel, yeah some people are more open about it while others just keep it to themselves. I agree that you don't have to be a JW to experience such a thought. Security blanket? That's a good way of putting it.

The feeling of unwanted sure doesn't anyone's depressed condition.

mackey, wow, that is a twist. Gee, I would think falling in love with someone you would go out of your way to engage in positive activities and conversations. Strangely enough, some JW's think it's the norm to think the way they think and it's you that's out of sinc. I still say, engaging in positive activities over time will and does help.

Guest 77

Matty

I think many Jehovah's Witnesses go through periods of their life when they feel they just can't cope any more and want out, I know I have - but fortunately I never went through with it. Sometimes you can still honestly believe that it is the truth but still find the life unbearable to live. You may toy with the idea of committing suicide but make it look like an accident so as not to bring disgrace upon your family. I remember thinking that way sometimes. I wonder how many JW death-by-accidents are actually suicides?

The Watchtower publications often quotes Jesus' words in Matthew chapter 11 - "I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My load is light". This quotation does not match the Jehovah's Witness religion at all - the burden of being a Witness is far from light. Jehovah's "happy" people? I don't think so, the painted smiles don't fool me.

Abaddon

Yeah, I sat on a window ledge once, looked at the pavement 5 stories below, and on reflection decided that even though it seemed like a nice solution to the speed-induced psychosis I was in, I'd probably feel better in the morning if I DIDN'T jump and wouldn't feel better if I DID.

Talk about moments of clarity.

Granny Linda

Thinking back to my 7th grade when I walked out of art class telling them I was going to kill myself...

And really all I did was walk home for lunch earlier then usual. The cops meant me half way, and of course I ended up in front of the elders. GAWD!! I hated that shit. My older sister who was already married to a "wordly" guy did take it upon herself to secretly take me to a psychologist. But with her own family responsiblities could not continue paying.

I understand for myself those thoughts of suicide at such an early age was a desperate cry for some positive attention. I hated my life, hated the jw thing, just hate in general. Looking back I realize too, that it was being stifled in every area of my life. When a child is not allowed to associate and be a part of life, then death does seem welcoming.

As the adult I've had fleeting thoughts of suicide. I don't hold that against people because I havn't walked in their shoes. I do know for myself that life comes to an end all too swiftly and I want to be around for my grandchildren as long as possible. Besides, I've learned that there are solutions, period. It's just that suicide is not one of them today.

Depression can be a bitch! But I'm worth more than ending my own life by suicide. And I'm certainly not going to leave my grandchildren with that legacy. Those of us who have survived untold heartache and hardship show by example how it is turning a negative into a positive. But if the adult chooses such a course of action, so be it. I'm not their judge. I can only make that call based upon knowledge of who I am.

BTW, it's always a good topic because it reminds me where there's life, there's hope.

Cheers,

granny

NaruNaruChan

Once, right after I left because of what the elders said to me, but I didn't do it because I realized I was FREE from prison, not still trapped.. ^_^

Lady Lee

I probably had some thoughts of suicide when I was quite young. I know by the time I was 11-12 I was talking about it with my aunt (same age and both being sexually abused). She committed suicide 6 days before my 13th birthday.

Between 13- 16 I thought about it a lot when I was in foster care (because of the abuse) and being emotionally and physically abused in the foster home.

Then I got married at 18 and knew it was a mistake after 2 weeks. I would get into serious depressions every couple of years and think about suicide again.

But after 15 years in the abusive marriage I would say I was seriously suicidal for the last 1-2 years. I had a plan. I thought about it every day. I had started asking people to watch out for my girls. I was giving things away. I was fed up.

But I was chicken.

So I left the abusive husband. And I left the JWs and haven't thought of suicide as a way out of my problems since then. And got some counseling about abuse issues.

Makes one think now doesn't it?

Sentinel

Yes, I have thought about it, in times past, because I was so torn trying to live this life as it was. I wanted it to change, but I didn't know what to do. But, I really didn't want to die. I just wanted to feel "better".

Suicide is just "leaving" all that deep hurt and pain behind, whether it be emotional, mental, or physical. Struggling to find another alternative while living day to day, is usually too difficult--too complex.

My first husband talked of suicide, and eventually carried through with it. The topic came up many times during our troubled marriage, as I struggled to help him. The problem was, he didn't want to "go alone", which was a frightening scenario, which eventually led to me leaving him to save myself and my son...literally. He would always say it was a terrible thing to do to the ones left behind.....but, he ended up doing that very thing. He was then dead and gone, but his surviving family were left with so much heartache and sadness.

It's a personal choice. A desperate choice...You can physically stop them time and time again, you can put them away in an institution, you can give them medication, but if that is what they want to do, they will eventually find a way to do it.He was only 33 years old.

Considered Suicide ?

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