It amazes me that someone can jump to conclusions on someone's education and personal experience and be so damned self-righteous
I'm sorry, Sheila, I wasn't actually referring to you--but I didn't make that clear. I was referring to a few of the other posts that unilaterally declared positions on ADHD medication as bad (with only secondary experience), and that legitimate behavioral issues were due to parental and teacher laziness. That really got under my skin, and I lashed out. Please accept my apology.
Since we're telling our stories, let me share mine:
My seven year old son is quite a young man. He began to read shortly before his fourth birthday. He just picked up a book at the Library, said to my husband: "Daddy, I can read this to you" and proceeded to do so. We were flabbergasted. We had always read to him, since his birth, but hadn't 'taught' him to read. At four he was reading at a third grade level, his math skills were astonishing--he could perform simple algebraic operations with seemingly no effort (no x's and y's mind you, just everyday applications: We have 10 apples, Daddy has 2, you have 3, how many does Mom have?, etc.), and had such a grasp of computer functions that more than once he downloaded wallpaper and screensavers from his favorite kid-friendly internet sites and installed them--much the chagrin of his father! We were encouraged to start him in school before his fifth birthday, but after much consideration we declined. Yes, he was very smart, yes his reading comprehension levels were well above his age group, but at the same time, he still thought that if he put a pillowcase over his head that we couldn't see him. :) We waited a year, and by that time our kindergartener was reading and comprehending at a sixth grade level. His math skills were solidly 4th grade, and it seemed that he was destined for academic success.
Kindergarten was no problem. He was a little flighty, but aren't they all? With the switch to a more structured environment in first grade, we found that the same child who was so intelligent was having a great deal of trouble accomplishing tasks in class. He wasn't a distraction in class, he simply couldn't start and complete most of the very simple tasks that the other children had no trouble with. At first we chocked it up to the fact that he was simply bored with the work at hand. Why would my 6 year old who had read all of the Harry Potter books be interested in "See Jane Run"? We would reason that it wasn't important to finish coloring a picture of a rabbit as it was to read all about rabbits, what they ate, where they lived, and how they interacted with each other. We altered the content of his studies, and while he absorbed the information, he still didn't finish papers, projects or writing assignments. When one of his teachers suggested we might want to read up on ADHD, I was dismissive, even offended. My child wasn't hyper. He was not a distraction to anyone else in class, he wasn't incapable of high-level work. He could concentrate for hours on things he enjoyed, so he certainly wasn't incapable of concentration. He was simply stubborn, we thought, and we'd take care of that problem.
We changed strategies, using negative reinforcement as a tool. If his work wasn't finished in class, he worked on it when the other children went out to recess. If he still didn't finish it, he brought it home and he spent his evening, the whole evening if necessary, completing the work. It was very frustrating. He knew the answer to every question, had no trouble with the work itself, but I would watch him drop his pencil 12 times on purpose, take 5 minutes to write a simple sentence, and sometimes just sit and stare off into space. We couldn't understand what the problem was. When a privilige would be taken away, we could see how much it bothered our son. He knew of the consequences, was very upset by them, but still couldn't seem to get his work done. It was clear that this strategy wasn't working, and in the process we watched our happy, smart, charming little boy become more and more withdrawn and upset with himself.
One night after my husband and I had met with his teacher to go over his progress, we began to tell our son over dinner that his teacher had reported that he was still not improving, that his work was far below his abilities, and that she had discussed some more ideas to get him to perform better with us. I remember him, eyes downcast, looking up at us and asking in the tiniest voice "Did she say anything good about me?". I will never forget that moment. It was in that second that I realized that my assertion that my little boy was simply stubborn was absolutely incorrect. I went out on the internet and researched ADHD, it's various manifestations and symptoms, read everything I could find. The next day, I made an appointment with a behavioral psychologist with the local children's hospital. In our first meeting, the Dr. asked him what it was like for him in school when he was trying to do his work. He thought about it for a moment, and then said "It's like my brain is a big dog on a leash and I have to hold the chain really tight because mostly he just wants to run around and chase cats and bark at cars, and most of the time I just can't hold on tight enough." I thought that was a pretty great way to describe what was going on in his head.
After extensive testing, requiring the coordination of clinicial, school setting and home setting observation, he was eventually diagnosed as ADHD-Inattentive. We explored all avenues of possible treatment. When we began to discuss medication, I had some issues. I had done extensive reading about the different medications available, and wanted to be sure that we weren't simply medicating to take the "easy" way out. We opted for a time-released 24 hour medicine that was non-cumulative in nature (went in and out of the body quickly) and taken only once a day, combined with extensive positive reinforcement and directed behavior techniques. Still, I was apprehensive about the drug therapy. I cannot even convey to you what an immediate difference the medicine made in his life. The very first day, he came home all smiles, thrilled because he didn't have ONE incomplete assignment to bring home that night. We were so proud of him, and even more importantly, he was proud of himself. Combined with positive reinforcement, he has had remarkable results with the medication. He has been able to work to his potential, has become actively involved in our school district's excellent gifted program, and is a happy, healthy 7 year old. We are hopeful that the medicine, combined with behavioral strategies, will continue to be sucessful, and that in the next few years we can work toward weaning off of the drug therapy when appropriate.
It was, and continues to be, a very challenging journey. I am so thankful that the resources to help our son on his road to success were available, and that we didn't close ourselves off to them for some misguided notion that all of his behavior was just a product of laziness or a stubborn nature, or our lack of parental involvement or skill. Had we closed ourselves off to the options available, we might have wasted years in a pointless, frustrating struggle.
