What parents need to know...

by SheilaM 55 Replies latest jw friends

  • lauralisa
    lauralisa

    Here is an interesting thread from a while ago for those who are interested in reading more!

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/7787/91354/post.ashx#91354

    {{Lyin eyes}} wish I had more time to write/respond to you right now... agreeing with all you said tho and wish you the best in the long-term effort it takes to keep our "special" kids safe.......

    lauralisa

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    Sara Annie, I hope you'll take this in the spirit I mean it.

    If your child is comprehending at a 6th grade level, and is forced to deal with kindegarten challenges...... well, you do the math.

    I know I'd go insane.

    At first we chocked it up to the fact that he was simply bored with the work at hand.

    I think you were on to something.

    It's very hard for some minds to focus on the mundane, the banal. Since too many people live totally focused on the mundane and banal, I'm all for letting those who don't run wild with their thought processes.

    I don't say this to reverse my position on ritalin or other drugs. And I won't claim to be in a position to know if your son needs or doesn't need a drug to function at his best level, it seems to work for your family. I am however, very sympathetic to any kid who is trapped in a seat for 6 hours a day and honestly can't see the point of being there. After all, how does a kid understand that "this is just the way it's gonna be, cuz tradition says so"? He'd no doubt always heard that school was for learning.

  • Jesika
    Jesika

    Without getting into grave detail, I just want to say, my x husband and I have been stuggling for over 4 yrs with my son.

    We tried every kind of discipline or punishment we could come up with. It got to the point where we could never do anything fun with our son for months at a time cause he was always in trouble.

    It would take him 3hrs to do simple (to him it was simple too) homework, but he just couldn't stay focused.

    So, after trying EVERYTHING else, and I do mean everything, we looked into the meds. I was firmly against it, at first.

    My x husband told me if we didn't like it we could always take him off the meds. So, when he said that I agreed to give it a try, but if either one of us wanted my son to stop, we wouldn't give him the meds anymore.

    I am by no means exaggerating when I say my son did a 180!!!!!

    He was finishing his work, wasn't in the office anymore (he was in the office at least once a day), and would finish his homework quickly or at school if he finished his other work early.

    I am not a lazy, want the easy way out kind of parent. His father is a very good, stern, loving parent. We were both left scratching our heads cause we had tried everything else, our last choice, that took us over 4yrs to try, were meds.

    My son still isn't thrilled about going to school, he is a 9yr old, so he would rather be home playing on his playstation, which is normal.

    But now my son can have fun at school, and he is proud of himself for finishing his work and not getting into trouble all the time. I honestly know that my son was trying his hardest to behave, but just couldn't focus.

    I don't want him on meds all his life, and my x husband and I have talked about maybe giving him something he thinks is his meds, like a sugar pill or something, to see if it is really the meds that are still helping, or if he is ready to stop taking them and can do it on his own. For now, it is working and he is getting the help he needs.

    I personally don't see anything wrong with it, if as a parent, you have exhausted all other avenues, and they still aren't working. We went over 4yrs trying different things, I think that is plenty of time, if not too much time, to make sure you have tried to do it the "old fashioned way".

    My son is happy, we are happy, and in the future, well I don't know what that holds but I am hoping that the meds won't be needed anymore. If they are needed, then we will just take things as they come to us. I won't deny my son help if he really needs it.

    Jes

  • Sara Annie
    Sara Annie

    Sixofnine--

    It's very hard for some minds to focus on the mundane, the banal. Since too many people live totally focused on the mundane and banal, I'm all for letting those who don't run wild with their thought processes.

    I don't say this to reverse my position on ritalin or other drugs. And I won't claim to be in a position to know if your son needs or doesn't need a drug to function at his best level, it seems to work for your family. I am however, very sympathetic to any kid who is trapped in a seat for 6 hours a day and honestly can't see the point of being there. After all, how does a kid understand that "this is just the way it's gonna be, cuz tradition says so"? He'd no doubt always heard that school was for learning.

    I totally agree with you on this point. He was bored with the material, and we have worked very hard at altering his curriculum to an appropriate intellectual level, and tailoring what he's learning to his abilities. Luckily we have had great support from his teachers and the school district, and he is presented challenging material that is interesting to him. He does independent study several times a week with the GT coordinator and has had a blast doing so-he has produced such amazing projects and loves it. He's been given a great deal of flexibility to pursue his interests and thrives.

    What can't be overlooked, however, is that part of the purpose of school is to learn how to learn, and to function as a productive member of society. It's about starting and finishing tasks in a specific period of time, whatever the subject matter. It's about building interpersonal and group communication skills. It's about learning to listen to information, and how to put it to use practically. It's about learning that sometimes you need to sit down and keep quiet and pay attention. It's about learning that if you don't put your best effort forward, you will be evaluated accordingly. These skills are a huge part of what is 'learned' in grammar school, and even the smartest kids need to practice them in the schoolroom environment. The problem with our little booger is that while the subject matter was easy, he couldn't focus on the more rudimentary tasks at hand even though they were simple for him. The combination of positive reinforcement techniques and the medication have enabled him to "keep a tight hold on the leash" when he needs to, but not inhibit his creative spirit. He can pursue very interesting, challenging school work, and still keep focused on specific tasks that help him build up basic skills. His ability to perform basic schoolwork tasks successfully has made him so happy. He brings home his "great day" reports with a 100 watt smile, and is as proud of himself as we are of him. There are challenges ahead, to be sure, but for us, for our child, this is the right answer, for now.

    The hardest part of having such a smart cookie around is that we have to balance his intellectual capabilities with the fact that he's a seven year old boy. Yes, he is working on high level math skills, but he still believes everything he hears in TV commericals. He can read novels that the average person reads in high school, but still loves to listen to his teacher read aloud children's books in class. Just because he CAN read something, doesn't mean it's appropriate to. We found that out the hard way when, at six, he borrowed Old Yeller from the library to read during quiet time and came home sobbing the afternoon (and afterward, nightly) after he finished it. We also had a heck of a time with him after he picked up and read through a book about the holocaust from the 6th grade history display during library time. He likes to throw rocks into the pond, thinks that grasshoppers are "cute" (Yikes!), pretends he's a monkey, and quotes SpongeBob Squarepants. He can do long division in his head, but still has to ask why some jokes are funny. He has read all seven books in the Chronicles of Narnia twice and can talk your ear off about them, but has to be reminded to use soap in the tub. In short, he's a kid. We're trying to let him be a kid, and at the same time foster his abilities. It certainly makes life interesting! Sort of makes you wish they came with instruction manuals...

  • SheilaM
    SheilaM

    Sarah:

    The downfall of our schools system is that they do NOT really teach that, I always suspected it buty seeing it first hand now at college. We need our schools to come out of the dark ages and to teach children differently. My son is a hands on person and needs demonstration. My daughter (the egghead) loved anything academic, to write hell she even studied summers LOL But I see so many kids in college that have been "educated" in the standard way and it hasn't WORKED at all. Children heck adults learn in different ways and the educational system needs to recognize that. In Massachussets my husband had the opportunity to attend the votech vs traditional high school, this is not an option here in Missouri.

    I can't believe my son is acutally going to GRADUATE, I felt like I fought tooth an nail since 6th grade and now the brat is making A's go figure.

  • Sara Annie
    Sara Annie

    Quite by accident, I saw this article today on the net and it reminded me that we need to do our homework before blanket-belief in any "trustworthy" source. Scientology is a cult-group even more wacky than the JWs, and understanding the source of the information on Montel's show lends it even less credibility in my eyes:

    MONTEL AIRS
    SHRINK-TRASHERS

    By RICHARD JOHNSON with Paula Froelich and Chris Wilson

    WAS Montel Williams duped into promoting the Church of Scientology on his talk show?

    Earlier this week, Williams - who is not a Scientologist - devoted a show to "children abused through the use of prescription psychiatric drugs such as Ritalin, specifically given to alleviate the symptoms of attention-deficit disorder."

    But the featured organization on the segment was the "Citizens Commission on Human Rights." CCHR, founded by Scientology in 1969, is an anti-psychiatry "watchdog group" that once described psychiatry as a "malignant disease" that "threatens society and ultimately mankind."

    During the show, CCHR president Bruce Wiseman compared "your friendly neighborhood psychiatrist" to drug lords in Colombia. Appearing with him, Scientology celebrity Juliette Lewis urged the audience to make "drug manufacturers and psychiatrists accountable." Williams also introduced cameo clips by church followers Anne Archer and Catherine Bell.

    Noted Scientology-watcher Rick Ross writes on cultnews.com, "At no time did the talk show host explore the wider agenda of the CCHR and/or its antipathy for the entire mental health profession . . . the S-word (Scientology) was never even uttered."

    Ross adds: "Many of the claims made by the CCHR have been labeled 'preposterous' by experts . . . Montel offered up instead 'expert' Mary Ann Block, a CCHR board member who . . . is an osteopath."

    Block claimed that attention-deficit disorder is a "made-up, psychiatric label."

    Ross notes this is not the first time Williams has aired a Scientology-based episode. "Earlier this year, Montel repeated a program with Scientologist Kelly Preston, wife of Scientologist John Travolta, that touted the teachings of L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology, about "environmental toxins" that hurt kids.

    "It seems that Montel has either gone from dumb to dumber, or is so desperate for celebrity appearances to boost his ratings, he will shill almost anything," Ross wrote.

    A rep for Williams said: "In the 12 years that 'The Montel Williams Show' has been on the air, guests have never been discriminated against based on religious beliefs. We would not discriminate against someone like Mr. Rick Ross . . . we welcome him to the show to discuss his bias."

  • lauralisa
    lauralisa

    Sarah Annie: You have my deep respect for posting this. This is big.

    I'll write more when I have more time, but THANK YOU for posting this.

    lauralisa

  • SheilaM
    SheilaM

    For the fourth time I will say that it amazes me that all the information that there is on ADHD etc. You ignore that not just one source was cited. Also just because one is a Scientoligst does not make one wrong, unlike the dubs most scientilogists are educated, many are Dr.'s etc. Here is another source I cited also there are about 50 medical journal research articles that I read. (documentated substantiated etc. This Dr. Haber book who as I said AGREES there is a condition as ADHD but he also feels that there is to much misdiagnosis. Also EPSCO a research database has all the medical research articles in it...knowledge is power.

    http://www.opengroup.com/fabooks/087/0878331816.shtml

    Adhd: The Great Misdiagnosis Author: Haber, Julian Stuart
    Paperback
    Taylor Publishing Company (TX)
    ISBN: 0878331816

    Opening with a brief history of ADHD and investigating the exploitation of the disorder by various drug manufacturers who wish to capitalize on ADHD as an epidemic, this book offers helpfuladvice to every parent whose child may be suspected of suffering from ADHD, outlines other disorders that present symptoms similar to ADHD, and reveals how to differentiate between them.The author argues that there is an overdiagnosis of children with ADHD, suggesting that children are mistakenly diagnosed as ADHD when the real illness is epilepsy, hearing loss, Tourette's syndrome, and psychological distress, or some other trauma.

  • jillbedford
    jillbedford

    My nephew was thought to be mentally retarded but after being properly diagnosed as ADHD and put on ritalin.

    Now he is in TAG.

  • lauralisa
    lauralisa

    Sheila,

    I'm confused... who is disagreeing with you?

    Knowlege is power. I hope that most people arrive at this conclusion before they are into their third or fourth decade of life. Reading is fundamental.

    Parents must be the ones who choose which course to take regarding their child's health. I think it is safe to say that one is wise to take in as much knowledge as possible from as many sources as possible before making a RESPONSIBLE decision about whether or not to medicate their child.

    I think the point is well made: turning that choice over to someone else is ...


    We still have a choice in such matters, as parents, fortunately... it is a difficult road to take, however; insurance companies have their agenda; doctors have their opinions; others who specialize in human suffering put out many an influencing argument. Here's a news flash * there exists propaganda*

    Please make room for discussion and please, know that this discussion is not, at this point, (at least for me) not about YOU.

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