Situation: I left the cult 2 years ago. My ex-wife left last month. My mother and her husband have shunned me from the start. I assumed they were shunning my ex-wife too seeing as she's sleeping with her new boyfriend. We have shared custody of our 3yo girl. For a long time things have been amicable and almost no arguments.
I got message today from my ex that my mother has taken her out for the day with my sister (who's also shunning me) and her kids. This, apparently, was planned last week but nobody had mentioned it to me.
I've been more than fair in that i've always said i'd like my daughter to know her cousins despite their religion. All i ask is for any contact or visits from my former family to go through me. This request has not been honored. A request which, as her father, i think is perfectly reasonable and fair. Just so i know where she is and who she's with and what they're doing.
I text my mum asking how my daughter is and what they have planned today. No reply after 2 hours. So i ask my recently exited brother for my mums home number and ring that.
REMEMBER: At this point all i wanted was to know how my daughter is and what they have planned today.
I call. It's answered by my mums husband. Let's call him "Dave".
Me: Hello, is mum there please?
Dave: Who's this?
Me: It's <pale.emperor>
Dave: What do you want?
Me: I want to talk to her about <daughter>
Dave: What about her?
Me: I want to know how she is
Dave: We dont have to tell you how she is
Me: ...(stunned)............what? You do, im her dad
Dave: We can tell her mother how she is and she can tell you
Dave: <her mother> has custody
Me: No she doesnt we both do. Look, im not trying to be confrontational can i speak to mum please?
Dave: You're not supposed to speak to her
Me: I can speak to whoever i want there's no law against it
Dave: <annoyed> hang on i'll see if she wants to speak to you.
<he's muttering and fuming as he's walking to my mum>
Mum: Hello, she's fine
Me: Ok, look, i dont mind you having her, i just want to be kept in formed. <My ex> and i agreed your contact for Erin should go via me.
Mum: But i can tell <my ex> and she can tell you
Me: No, that's disrespectful. <my ex> isnt a JW either so it doesnt matter
Mum: But you know she's here now, whats the problem?
Me: I found out AFTER from someone else. I need to be informed of these things.
Mum: <my ex> told you
Me: AFTERWARDS yes. You're supposed to ask me not her.
Mum: I'll need to ask the elders
Phone cuts off
WTF is wrong with this cult?
Now, I'm seriously thinking of getting some sort of court order where my permission needs to be sought before they have her again. Am i overreacting here? It's completely ridiculous my own mother bypassing her own son to see her granddaughter.
Anyone in the UK know what my legal options are here?