Am I Overreacting Here?

by pale.emperor 34 Replies latest jw experiences

  • neat blue dog
    neat blue dog

    She'll ask the elders?? What the hell do they have to do with it? They can't even think for themselves, but worse they're not showing you the respect and consideration you deserve, even for just being the girl's father. Maybe there's no law against it, but this is just common courtesy.

  • shadow

    You’re overreacting. Just make it clear that you are to be contacted in case of emergency, no matter who she’s with. Chill out, you’ll live longer.

  • Giordano

    When my wife and I left the so called truth (anything but). My mother made it clear she wasn't going to be a baby sitter for our son. I made it clear that we didn't want to make her a baby sitter because we didn't trust her to make a proper medical decision if our son was injured in an accident and needed a blood transfusion.

    She stopped talking to us for about six months. But what the hell....... this was in the 1960's and 1970's and medicine was dependent on blood transfusions and still is in cases of trauma like car accidents, bike accidents, fire with serious burns etc. etc.

    Why the F#CK would we want to turn over our beloved son to some(s) one who would sacrifice him on the alter of their ignorant JW beliefs?

    She was greatly offended by our position.....she couldn't see it. In later years my sister died at 43 for want of a BT and my wife's mother died well before her time for want of a needed open heart surgery. They wouldn't operate on her without blood.

    So for what it's worth it's time to stop pussy footing around with JW in laws who would not protect your child as well as you would.

    So Yeah your not overreacting.

    PS. Work this out with your wife re visits to MIL and being informed about where your wonderful daughter is and what the rules are.

    Maybe buy a medical bracelet for your daughter to wear on visits that says....... I accept all medical procedures that are needed.

  • JaniceA

    Forget the borg. This is a conversation to have with ex. If not resolved, it should be a conversation with an Atty and you should definitely bring up all the applicable dirt in the borg, your/her family and ex congregation. I think that your ex wife knowing that will happen might help her decide how to respond.

    The child protection issue in every way actually could impact this. WT is on record with their stance medically and regarding how they deal with abusers.

  • just fine
    just fine

    Nope not overreacting - your mother is acting like you have no say in what your daughter does. Just because you aren’t a witness doesn’t give her the right to do whatever she wants with your child.

  • _Morpheus

    Hell no your not. Dont ever let anyone marginalize you in your childs life. Be pissed at your oarents and your ex. Lay down the law with the ex, btw. Seek whatever legal remedy you have to. Dont this go.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    my son--42 this year--d/f'd some years back--we have since developed a close relationship...

    -----fought tooth and nail to maintain contact with his 2 kids from his first marriage. by all accounts his ex is a serious nutter--ideal dubette. he maintains his kids...courtesy of the child support agency ( widely hated in the UK )

    i recently found out he has spent £40 grand !! all told in legal fees court costs etc.

    his ex sold their house--and moved a fair distance from him--making access visits a real problem; then a few months ago his kids ( now 15 and 13 ) have told him they dont want to see him any more.

    the only positive thing about this is he can see all too clearly the problems i went through..a case of history repeating itself.

  • steve2

    The most prudent course is to first try to discuss it with your ex. If that doesn’t work, seek sound legal advice - asking other posters their views is well and good. However, you need to know your exact legal standing without prejudice from others.

    Whatever you do, please don’t use this as an opportunity to keep contacting your mother - which could be construed by her as harassment should she decide to also enlist lawyers. Stay squeaky clean. Best! Steve2

  • mentalclarity

    You need to pause and think what's going to produce the best outcome here. Don't lose your shit - if you go full court custody mode it will put your ex on the defensive and your family will probably make little effort to include your daughter in anything family related. That might be what you want, but it doesn't sound like that.

    Court custody battles are long and expensive and from what I've seen, unless you're able to prove the other parent is abusive or severely negligent they won't give you 100% custody.

    If your ex wife has a better relationship with your family than you do and this allows your daughter to be able to spend time with cousins - does it really matter that they didn't consult you? I mean, the child's mom made the arrangements (yes, it's your family...but the situation is really bad).

    The person you should talk to is your ex and let her know you want to be aware if your daughter is going to do something with your family and get together and put ground rules for both JW grandparents/family when with your child. No mention of Jah/armageddon/bible/etc or religious topics in general. I have that rule with my JW family.

    Bottom line you really want your daughter to have contact with your family and what's the best way to achieve that? In an ideal world, your mom would be someone who is respectful to you(or at least while your daughter is with her). Doesn't look like she's capable of that. Are these people you want your daughter around? These are the things you might want to reflect on first.

  • pale.emperor

    Court custody battles are long and expensive and from what I've seen, unless you're able to prove the other parent is abusive or severely negligent they won't give you 100% custody.

    Im not after full custody. Im only requesting to be contacted/informed about their visits and what they'll entail.

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