Am I Overreacting Here?

by pale.emperor 34 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Anders Andersen

  First, you left your daughter's beautiful name in your post. Maybe you want to change that to improve anonymity?

  As for the topic at hand: don't bark at the wrong tree. Your mother is not really a party here.

  If you and your ex have agreed to keep each other informed on your daughter's whereabouts, your beef is with your ex. Plan some time and sit down with her to discuss this.

  Your mother and sister being rude cult followers is painful and very annoying, but seems not really relevant for the question at hand.

  Peace...
• 

  mentalclarity

  "Im only requesting to be contacted/informed about their visits and what they'll entail".

  Totally valid request - talk to the ex.
  

  Your JW mom and stepdad sound awful. Personally, I wouldn't want my kids around people who can't be civil to me. Who knows what comment they'd say about you and your daughter is very young. And wasn't there an incident where they treated her bad too? I would probably think twice about having my young child with my family and me not present if they were disrespectful no matter what religion they were.
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  stan livedeath

  its all about control freakery. dubs just love shunning--it really strokes their self centered attitude. so if they can rub your nose in it--by excluding you from their sweet little holier than thou family get-togethers--it bloats their religious cult mindset.

  just let them get on with it..dont do anything that sets them against you even more. your daughter is right in the middle of it. not her chosing..not yet.
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  Incognito

  Your mother and sister being rude cult followers is painful and very annoying, but seems not really relevant for the question at hand.
  

  The problem being, the behavior of the mother, her husband and Pale's sister, sets an example for Pale's child. Allowing that behaviour to continue, then indicates that behaviour is correct, justified and acceptable, and so how long will it take before the child starts to treat Pale in a similar manner?

  Rules of behaviour need to be established now, not after a problem develops. The child's welfare rests with both parents, not the grandparents or Aunt. Both parents need to agree to work together in the interest of the child regardless of their relationship with each other.

  The blood issue is a valid concern as JW's typically consider their actions as being what God requires. If the child had an accident while in the care of the Grandmother or Sister, and if blood was required, would the GrandM or sister inform the parents of required treatment or would they act to prohibit blood as a method for the child to have God's favour?

  While Pale understandably wants his child to have a relationship with his family, that should not occur at the expense of his relationship with his child or at the risk of the child's welfare.
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  Sail Away

  pale.emperor, you are so not overreacting. You have the right to know where your daughter is, who she is with and that she is safe at all times. I am thinking of both physical and emotional safety. Take this up with your ex. There need to be boundaries set around efforts to indoctrinate and alienate your daughter. These people are toxic.
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  slimboyfat

  These people are treating you as subhuman. There is no telling what they will say to your daughter about you when you are not there (that you are wicked and will die at Armageddon, is certainly possible). In fact even if he don’t say anything, the message they send by shunning you is disgusting enough. This alone, to my mind, would justify you not allowing them to spend time alone with your daughter, or at all if fact.

  People should not pretend this sort of behaviour is in any way normal or acceptable. JWs will inevitably try to put the blame for the situation on the person who is shunned. Well let them try. It makes about as much sense as an overlapping generation. And will impress no one who doesn’t share their zealous devotion to the GB.
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  moreconfusedthanever

  Now that your ex is also DFd is she on the same page as you with regards to the religion?

  Your parents should not be talking to her but if they want to see their grandchild there is no other option. It is still better that she is present when they have contact with your daughter.

  Talk to your ex about your initial agreement being honoured and come to an agreement that no indoctrination be allowed at visits and no undermining of you as her father. Only supervised visits with one parent present at all times.
• 

  nonjwspouse

  Not even CLOSE to over reacting.
• 

  Crazyguy

  I take it your ex has left the cult but is not dfd yet? If so that explains a lot. I’m seeing more and more cases of JWs getting away with more and more and as long as their not dfd then it’s all good.
• 

  pale.emperor

  I take it your ex has left the cult but is not dfd yet? If so that explains a lot. I’m seeing more and more cases of JWs getting away with more and more and as long as their not dfd then it’s all good.

  Yep, that's exactly it. She has a non-JW boyfriend now and they sleep over at each others houses. Nobody knows because she hasn't told them. They just assume she's not going to meetings for a bit but will "come to her senses".