I was so depressed that i was suicidle. Always knowing i could never do enough. Reg pio for 10 yrs, countless public talks, talk every other week in school and service meeting, taking book study and on and on and on and. Until i said about 6 months I have had enough and right now i am the happiest i have ever been . By the way i love the site it is exactly what i needed, and very funny at times too. Thanx.
How many out here.....
Hi Michael, I can appreciate where you are coming from. I ususally had three or four usual assignments a week on the platform. I was BS conductor, WT study conductor, 2nd school overseer, KH maintenance and about a zillion other jobs. I was always buzzing to the Assembly Hall for maintenance or helping some sister who seemed to move about 3 times a year from one apt to another. Never any time to do even one thing let alone have a real hobby etc. I have discovered many things I love to do since I left.
well, i seem to keep bumping into you this morning.
i am so glad for you that life is better now.
my best to you again, nowisee
I suffered from depression whilst still in the org.... it was horrible. I suffered from Crohns disease that is brought on alot by stress, and I tell you it is horrible. But i got on with it. Then when NW decided to leave the org, that made me have bad depression, because I was totally ostracized because I was no longer a 'family'. I felt that I was being punished for not being strong enough and not being regular on the field service. it was awful.
These people have so much control over your life, and you do not realise how much until you walk away, and then you start feeling better, and that life is worth living.....
I feel great now.
Back then, despite how hard I tried to please the insatiable Jehovah, I still felt inadequate, and more often than not: depressed.
I recall many brothers/sisters at various congregations I attended that had members who were mentally unwell, depressed or were on medication, or going off to see 'specialists' of one sort or another.
Just recently, I came into contact with someone I used to know many years ago, and it's sad to read that two members of the family are now experiencing mental illness. So sad, because when I think back, I remember these two individuals as light hearted and fun.
Doesn't take much to find Jehovah's blessing doing what it does best: sucking the life right out of you.
So glad to be away from that misery now. I can breath easier.
I had acute clinical depression in 1996. Tried to kill myself. I was 45
I thought that it was caused my money problems, turned out they where only a small part of it.
When I thought about it I realised it was caused by trying to live up to the JW standards as a Ministerial Servant, plus the growing realisation that the Watchtower teachings where "flawed" . According to the doctors I probably had it for years, very common among JW's they said. They get a lot of JW's in for depression. Found out how true that is since.
My congregations elders answer to it was to tell my wife that I had to leave home because I was a "spiritual danger" to the family. I left (thrown out) followed soon by my eldest son, who did not agree with it, then another and daughter. We all left the JW's by end of 1999. My JW wife and two JW daughters have not spoken or contacted us in anyway since then.
My wife has even walked beside her son in the town centre after not seeing him for 5 years. Knew he was there and never acknowledged him.
Recently my DA'd daughter had a run in with her mother. Said it was like talking to a robot, all her mother did was repeat WT phrases and platitudes. Daughter said it was as if her mind was not her own.
Hmmmm...lets see....prescribed at least three different meds for depression over a 4 year period....but once I left the Hall, I have not needed anything at all. Once I realized that it was not healthy to be some consumed with religion and guilt, I think that helped me deal with all the other issues I had.
Just knowing that the answer "You need to prayer more and go out in service more" is NOT the answer to what ails ya, was the biggest relief of all.
you know the whole problem witn jw's being depressed is they feel they can never do enough to please God, and they're absolutely right! The Watchtower organization has a works-oriented salvation plan. They think if they go door to door passing out awake magazines and evangelizing and giving money and doing as much work as they can that somehow that will merit them salvation and favor with God. But the bible says,"By grace are you saved through faith, that not of yourselves lest any man should boast. The Bible says before you are saved your works are as filthy rags,because they are unsanctified and unblessed. God demands 100% perfection, and since he knew no one would ever be able to live a perfect life without sinning he sent the Lord Jesus Christ to die on the cross to pay the sin debt(remember theres no remission of sins without the shedding of blood)in our place for our sins. So when you believe and trust in that sacrifice and resurrection ,his righteousness is credited to our account as if we never sinned! Jw's think they can go straight to Jehovah without the mediator Christ Jesus. Thats why they teach you can't be born again. But the Lord Jesus says,"Unless a man be born again he won't see the kingdom or enter it. My question to the Jw is, if you won't see the kingdom or enter it as Jesus says in John 3, what part do you have in it?
Not sure just where the scripture was but it went along the lines of...
"You must be perfect because your father in the heavens is perfect."
You must be...But you can't be.....But you must be....But you can't be....But you must be....But.........I just can't imagine how anyone can be depressed with that sort of logic guiding you.
Gordy, My heart goes out to you. This is certainly the place to be to find people who are going through similar things. My mom and sister and of course the congregations are shunning me. It is kinda strange though, I haven't been dissaccosiated or disfellowshipped that I know of. Anyway, I'm sorry and understand how hard this is.