How many out here.....

by tazmaniac 23 Replies latest watchtower medical

  • shera

    ((((((hugs)))))) To all of you here.

    I never felt good enough,I was always thinking I'm gonna die,God is gonna kill me.

    I became very depressed and after I left I developed an anixety disorder.Even with all the doubts I had with the org,the teachings drilled in my head sure played on me.

  • shamus

    My heart goes out to each and every one of you!

    I, too, suffered for many years of horrible guilt - especially whenever I would miss meetings, miss field service, etc. Again, never enough - do more, do more, do more!

    Well, I can't. And now, i won't.

  • reddk8

    Hi there. I just DA'd myself, 3 days ago. I struggled with depression for years, begging for help, getting nothing. An elder was also battling depression, and the other elders were so supportive of him. Told him what an inspiration he was, just being able to show up for a meeting. I was told that Satan was testing me, and if I were in the center of the flock, he wouldn't be able to get to me. I am not taking anything away from that elder; I'm really glad that he felt loved and supported, and got his needs met at the K. Hall. I felt so awful, because the only times I didn't feel like dying, were when I skipped some meetings! I was told that this was because Satan wouldn't bother those who are doing his will, and skipping meetings was Satan's will! ( Is that what is called a "guilt trip"?) I never thought there were others, so many at least, that were like me. Now that I think of it, I know of 4, no 5 others, not counting that elder, who suffered from depression. Are we counting kids? 'Cause if so, add 3 more that I know of, on anti-depressants. Now, I can breathe again. Life, my family, sunshine, all good. Reddk8

  • Huxley

    Welcome reddk8!

    Like you I recently Da'd myself. I also was horribly depressed by trying to keep up with everything that is required. When I finally made the decision to leave I felt such relief. I still have good and bad days, but they are not as extreme as when I was a witness. I wrote letters to my family and close friends letting them know that I was leaving, and I let them know that I felt like the burden was gone, and I didn't feel that crushing weight of expectations on me anymore.

    I knew a lot of witnesses that were on medication for depression. I don't think JWs have the market cornered on depressed people, but with the hectic "do more" schedule, it's no wonder so many are down.


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