They Finally Did It

by kelpie 48 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Robdar

  ((((((((Kelpie)))))),

  My heart goes out to you.

  It seems like yesterday that I went through something similar with my parents. They disowned me and my toddler son because I had left the org. When they did this, I told them that they are the ones who made the decision to turn their backs on me but that my love for them was too strong to do that to them, that if they ever changed their mind, my son and I would welcome them back.

  I guess it was because of their love for their first grand child and the fact that they couldn't coerce me, that the shunning lasted all of 2 months. Of course, by that time I had gone into therapy to deal with the devastation. Later, I was disowned again. That lasted about a year.

  The reason I am telling you this is because I want you to remember that what is said in the heat of the moment may not be what actually happens. Continue to be kind to your parents. If you do, you will never have the guilt of knowing that you treated them unlovingly. And who knows? This may just pass over in time. I hope that it does.

  Congratulations on having such a wonderful fiance. His love and support will be needed in the weeks to come.

  Love,

  Robyn
• 

  bikerchic

  (((((((Kelpie))))))))

  As I write this I'm crying.......it brings back the memories of when my son was DF'd and how I refused to follow the JW rules of dissowning him. I fought even his own Dad over this and told him if he wanted to disown his son as far as I was concerned he could pack his bags and leave our house because I would never reject the son I gave birth to, period! This was for me the first time I had ever questioned the WTS over their DFing policies, I hate to say that with others in the cong I shunned them with the best of the dubs........ugg!puke! It opened my eyes to the DFing thang.......I never acted like that towards anyone again!

  In my way I guess I'm saying is hang in there......know your Mum and Father still love you, they are just puppets, I'm sorry for that and what you are experiencing right now. It is truely as sad B'orginazation they are in.

  I too fear my own Mom and family that are "in" finding out that I am an Apostate, my Mom is getting along in age, right now she is still holding out that "hope" that I will come back......(when pigs fly) I would hate to loose her and be shunned by her so my heart truely goes out to you.

  Do as many have suggested and grieve, it is like a death, take all the time it takes and don't feel bad about it. Put it behind you and move on. You are blessed to have such a wonderful and caring soulmate to help you through it. You have a new family now that loves you unconditionally, this is your new life enjoy it, you have the chance to create the life for your step children you never experienced. You are really lucky and I'm so happy for you and wish you all the best with your upcoming wedding and marriage.

  Katie
• 

  Billygoat

  ((((((kelpie))))))

  My parents have disowned me too. I understand the pain that comes with being "orphaned". Too many times, my sweet husband has peeled me off the floor because I was so heartbroken I could barely breathe. My in-laws are now my "parents" and my husband is perfectly content to let me be their "little girl" at times. I guess I just want you to know two things: you are not alone AND it does get better.

  Andi
• 

  outnfree

  (((((((((Kelpie))))))))))

  I'm truly sorry. Shunning is an ugly, ugly thing. I wish your mourning period to be brief and bring resolution, and I wish your marriage to be long and happy.

  out
• 

  BLISSISIGNORANCE

  kel................email me. i need your phone number. you have given me the wrong number. i rang and got someone else. we must get together for coffee...............or scotch and coke ok. please get your number to me.

  see ya luv.

  bliss
• 

  kelpie

  Thank you all so much for your support.

  Update, my sister who is still a dub said that mum wasnt even aware that dad had called me but said simlar things to my sister, mum hasnt said that she will completely disown me but im not game enough to call her and get rejected yet again.

  I have done alot of crying of the last few days and I seem to be always close to tears but I try not to think about it too much.

  To read that so many people know what I am talking about brings me alot of comfort.

  Bliss, I replied to your messages and left my number. Im sorry for the mixup but I havent been thinking clearly lately.

  Love always to all

  kim
• 

  mattnoel

  Sorry Kelpie, how sad that they turn their back on you like this. Time to move on buddy and make a life for yourself. You have a Husband to think about now.

  Good luck with your wedding and I wish you all the happiness you deserve !
• 

  BadJerry

  (((((((((((((( KELPIE )))))))))))))))))

  sorry to hear that, it's so sad that that organization claims to follow Christ and yet can't love another human being who has a different veiw. Family is so important to our Creator, one can only pray for them to have the unconditional love as he does. You have your fiance, and build on that love. best to you.

  from Imanaliento logging on to hubby's ID because I can't yet.
• 

  kelpie

  Thanks again for all your words of support and encouragement.

  It means more then you know.......

  Its good to know I have friends to fall back on.
• 

  LoverOfTruth

  Please take comfort in knowing this is truly what scripture means where it says Family will turn against you. The witnesses preach this quite often but they have it backwards; they're the ones who turn against loved ones.

  My oldest son, Thomas S. (28 years old) is not speaking to me. It doesn't bother me so much that he doesn't call. I'm more concerned about his mental health. Occasionally his brother Aaron, or one of his sisters, Miranda or Jessica can get in touch with him but he is "Robotic", and talks about Armageddon being around the corner. Now this kid graduated from Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, Ohio with a degree in Mechanical Engineering so he's not stupid to say the least. I have a letter my boy wrote to me about five years ago that shows the "Real" Thomas is still there. All four of my Children were raised as a JWs but I always taught them to ask questions.

  All you can do is continue to tell your family how much you love them "NO MATTER WHAT" and PRAY regularly that Jehovah will open their minds, so they can "Make Sure of All Things." Have faith your prayers will be answered.

  A Cult's hold is much like that of a drug addiction. Many will have to hit "rock bottom" before they can begin to do something about their situation.