They Finally Did It

by kelpie 48 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  LittleToe

  This brings back all too fresh memories.

  Unusually, I'm at a loss for words...
  All I can offer you are my best wishes, for your grieving process, and my prayers.

  I hope your parents come to their senses - and the sooner the better.
• 

  kelpie

  I just want to update.

  In writing this I forgot to mention my wonderful sister who isnt a witness and has been very supportive for my man and I.

  She is the only family member that knows the full story. It is great to have her on my side.

  I love you Sis (she lurks here every now and then)
• 

  garybuss

  
  
  Hi Kim, All,
  
  My parents have been wonderful teachers. I owe them so much. Earlier I followed in their footsteps. Those were the worst years of my life. Later I realized they were showing me how not to behave.
  
  My best teachers have always been bad examples and my parents chose to live in that bad behavior. I have chosen not to. Now I live the way I wish my parents could have lived, and I treat my sons the way I wish my parents had treated me and my brother. I have forever left their ways.
  
  I have always been willing to respect my parents if they are respectable, love them if they are loveable, help them if they are helpable, and willing to honor them if they are honorable. But they choose to not be loveable, or helpable, or honorable, or respectable. I choose to accept that and move on.
  
  Rejection by a parent is every child's worst fear. The Watch Tower Publishing Corporation knows that and chooses to exploit that relationship to their benefit.
  
  My parents have not contacted me for over 8 years. They are into their 80's now and I expect they will never contact me again. I have taken olive branches to them during that time and have been turned away every time. I will not be contacting them any more.
  
  Sorry for your pain and sorry for the pain of all the victims of high control religion. Please know you are on my mind and have my best wishes. gary
  
  

  The Way I See it http://www.freeminds.org/buss/buss.htm
• 

  PurpleV

  K

  I'm sorry for your loss. I'm also sorry for your family for their loss is greater.

  ((((Kelpie))))

  Another notch for the FDS' belt.
• 

  amen

  Kelpie,

  I am very sad to your situation. To me it shows once again that this religion is dictacting every member moves, the members can not think for themselves or act lovingly to their own family. Well, that is an evidence that the JW's don't have love among themselves and they don't reflect Christ mind.

  Well, one advice i can provide is when ever you feel the need or a support of your parents and off course they won't be there, rely on our father who is heaven you will feel his touch.

  I wish you well.

  amen
• 

  xjw_b12

  Kelpie. Very sorry to hear this.

  My wife's parents have cut us off, including 2 grandchildren 13 and 11. In facts it is our son's birthday today, but of course there will be no acknowledgement from them. This is now going on 3 years. Yet her father, an elder, had the audacity this last Saturday to visit good friends of ours to invite THEM to the Memorial. You can read a transcript of that on this thread....

  Just had visit from an elder...wine and cracker invite

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/49289/1.ashx

  Anyways my wife has had experience in this matter, and I'm sure she can help you through this difficult time. I suggest you send her a Personal Message,. She posts here as calamityjane.

  Regards Dave
• 

  calamityjane

  Hey ((((((((Kelpie))))))))). Sorry to hear of this. I know the wound is fresh, but the hurt will eventually become a dull one.

  It sounds like you are not alone and that you have support from your fiance and sister.

  At times, I have felt like an orphan, but I have a wonderful husband and my in-laws love me to, that is all the family I need. Actually I feel closer to my in-laws than I ever was with my parents, because they are supportive of me.

  When you do get married and build a life of your own, its your parents that are going to miss out. Your parents are the ones that are going to be hurting more than you because they are stuck in a religion that doesn't allow them to love you unconditionally.

  I was just saying to my hubby,xjw_b12 last night that we are so busy with our close friends, that we barely have weekends to ourselves because we are socializing so much, that keeps me content with my life as it is now.

  Take care Kim.
• 

  Sentinel

  When I read something like this, it's like an old familiar wound aching yet again. The only thing I can tell you that, with effort and courage on your part, you will be able to rise above any such personal crisis and go on.

  One does have to wonder how parents/and or children manage to rationalize the behavior of rejection and shunning as "love". I asked myself that question, and continue to do so and there is no real answer that makes it all better. There is so much power and control behind that type of action. Your parents feel impowered over you. And they willingly participate in that type of behavior and you cannot change them.

  Hopefully, at some point, they will begin to take a a more accountable look at their life and what they have allowed the borg to control. But, then again, although we should never lose hope that this could happen, it may not. We have a beautiful life and we need to learn how to live it in a healthy way.

  Try to be strong and live a happy and fulfilled life in a positive way. I know you are brokenhearted over the matter; if you need some counseling, please get it. It's almost like losing a loved one in death, the grieving is so intense. I highly recommend talking it all out with a professional if you can--someone familiar with cults. We need to learn how "not to be co-dependent" on how others treat us, because that's where most of the hurt, pain, insecurity and guilt come from.
• 

  pandora

  ((((Kelpie)))))

  You've seen my recent thread. Now I understand your comments. My heart goes out to you. My parents did disown me for a while. I was only 16. They threw me out and refused to speak to me. They changed their mind years later, but the damage was done. Never could I trust them like I had in the past. Don't get me wrong. I love my mother. Beyond words, I love her. That will never change, Kelpie. But I do take comfort in knowing that she is just brainwashed. It doesn't mean she doesn't love me. She is just mislead in how to show it.

  That reasoning came only after many years of anguish. I didn't have this place or anyplace like it back then. You are lucky to know the truth from the begining. You don't have to believe what they tell you. They are wrong. I believed for too long.

  Lean on your husband and pray he never truely understands how your parents could do this to you. You don't need him to understand, you need him to love and support you because of, and in spite of the tragic events your parents have put you thru. You are strong, Kelpie.

  I echo another poster's comment. " You have a cheering section here. " So true. So true.

  -P(J)
• 

  OUTLAW

  (((Kim))),brain dead dub parents suck..I know first hand..You will be married soon and you will have your own family..Put your energies into them..It will pay off big time..If your parents don`t want to be in your life,it`s their loss..My parents caused enough grief in my life,one day I just walked away from them and never came back..They worked very hard to earn that..Now they complain that I have nothing to do with them,and they don`t know why..They prefer to remain selectivly stupid..OUTLAW