They Finally Did It

by kelpie 48 Replies latest jw experiences

  • kelpie

    My Parents have finally disowned me.

    My Dad called yesturday and told me to get the "dogs of my mothers back" about my upcoming wedding.

    I told him that I havent put anyone on mum's back and if they are saying it, its because they want to and don't agree with what he and mum are doing. I said that Mum can speak for herself and he said that she and will and the next time you speak to your mother she will tell you that we dont want to ever speak to or see you again..."

    At this point in the conversation I hung up the phone in his ear. I gather the next step is that he will find some excuse to disfellowship me. He has now also got to my sister and she isnt talking to me anymore.

    If it wasn't for my wonderful fiance, I dont know how I would get through this. I feel so alone. I cried all night long last night. Even tho I was expecting it at some stage, it still hurt. I have to greive for them, as I feel like they have died because I know that I wont speak to them again really. the mother and father that I grew up with and love is gone.. I don't know what is left.

    Thanks for reading.

    love kim

  • Prisca


    Words fail me. I'm so sorry for you.

  • borgfree

    I am very sorry you are having such hurt Kim. I do know how you feel. When I left, about 11 years ago, I lost almost all of my family. At that time I just wanted to die.

    I can only tell you what helped me. At some point, I think about six months after leaving the WT, I became a Christian, I accepted the Lord into my life and I did really feel much better. There is a scripture that says "the Lord stood by me and infused power into me" I really felt that way.

    I wish you all the best and much happiness.


  • xenawarrior


    I'm so sorry !!!


  • dottie


    I'm sorry that things aren't well for you right now. Things do get better...somethings just take a little longer than others.

    Many Hugs and Much Love to You


  • blondie
    I gather the next step is that he will find some excuse to disfellowship me.

    Kelpie, it would take at least 2 more elders for that to happen. Last I checked elders can't DF people on their own. Maybe he can find 2 yes men and come up with something to put on the report to the CO and New York.

    My own wedding was a family emotional mess. Fortunately, my in-laws are not JWs and I cautioned them that if they acted up they would be a bad example of JWs to his family. It was hard but they behaved. The most judgemental stayed home, thank god.

    Just stick to the most important person and the rest don't matter.

    Blondie (coming up on an anniversary and they said it wouldn't last)

  • kelpie

    Thanks everyone for your support.

    I agree. I have 3 step children and there is nothing that could ever stop me from being apart of their lives.

    Blondie, He says they are checking up on me so thats why I feel its only a matter of time..

    Mum and dad havent said why they have stopped talking to me just that they are.



    Damn...what a tragedy. I am terribly sorry to read of your recent experience with your parents.

    This is what angers me re: society doctrine/practices. Family unity - my eye!

    I hope their sense of loss; I'm sure they are feeling this, will supercede any society doctrine/practice.

    Sorry to read this, yet another, shunned beloved family member/friend.

    Hugs from ol' Rayzorblade.

  • joannadandy


    What an awful thing to do/say...I really feel for you, you must be torn up...I'm very glad you have someone like your fiance to help you through this tough time. It's a true testament to how much he loves you.

  • MegaDude

    Hi Kim,

    Been there. You will hurt for a while. Maybe a long while. But why love people who are incapable of loving you? Might as well tell a woman whose husband beats her to stay with him. When you're ready, take a pro-active stance and decide for yourself that you do not want to associate with people who would treat you so badly. They aren't worth it, they suck the life energy out of you, they are bad association, plain and simple. I would make a personal decision never to contact them again. Do you want to be like a beggar...begging for love from people who won't give you a penny's worth of their heart? I wish you new friends, new family, and a new life away from people who would dare treat you so badly. Once you make the decision to remove these types of people out of your life, and have the courage to grieve the passing of the relationships, life gets much better. Your new husband and your step-children will benefit positively to you cutting off these people.

    Good luck.

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