What is this "religion"?

by Kom 197 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • The Fall Guy
    The Fall Guy

    Welcome Kom. I'm so sorry to hear of your sad situation. One question - Is he baptised? If not, his exit will be a lot easier.

    I used to be a zealous JW until I opened my eyes a few years ago.

    I once knew a baptised JW who was dating a girl who was studying with two female JW's - but that wasn't good enough for the elders. They told him that if he didn't stop sitting beside her in the Kingdom Hall, they would take away his "privileges." That's the cult your ex is in. You're not good enough for him if you don't join them - fact!

  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    Listen to the good advice to run away from the ridiculous Watchtower cult and don't look back.

    What if you had a child with this guy, and something happened and the child needed a blood transfusion? They would want you to let the child die, if it came to that!

    With the strong mind control the cult wields over its members, they teach that the organization comes first before your spouse; if your spouse smokes a cigarette you're supposed to tell the elders. Because you want to show you love your spouse and you don't want him to lose his life at armageddon, do you? And if he/she SAYS anything critical of the organization, you're supposed to tell the elders that too.

    How about that kind of a life, doesn't it sound all God-dy and lovely. There are many more stupid things in their doctrine. They absolutely DO tear families apart and drive people to suicide. Run for your life and don't look back.

  • Tapioca

    My heart breaks for you.

    No matter how this turns out, you will never be the same due to the awful things you are seeing. Your narrative highlights your hurt and confusion and no one can blame you for that! I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, or a course of action that would guarantee a good outcome. Time will tell.

    You are right. It is more than a religion and so, sadly, I have to say that I agree with those who counsel that you should run for your life. You do not have to meet with any of them. There is no win for you to meet with them. I feel so bad for you and honestly, I feel bad for your ex. His buttons are being pushed and it looks like he's not ready to run yet. Such unnecessary sadness.

  • SAHS

    I do earnestly hope that he can eventually be made to see the JW organization for what it really is – a deceptive, manipulative, high-control cult – and that you and he can renew your relationship. That would certainly be the best outcome for you both. (Don’t forget http://www.jwfacts.com/!)

    But if he can’t somehow ever be made to wake up and come around back to sanity but you still want to try having a significant relationship with him, then, well, all I can say is, Fasten your seatbelts. It’s quite a rough ride indeed when the one you love gets commandeered (high-jacked!) by the likes of the Watch Tower!

  • Virgochik

    You would have to become a baptized JW too, in order to have a future with him. Since you already noticed the false teachings, you would have to pretend to agree with things that go against your grain. Could you fake it for a lifetime, and what about your children? No Christmas, no birthdays, no education.

  • Giordano

    You know.......... what you need to understand if you take him in as a practicing JW........... your life and your future child's life will be in danger every day....... If he can't live without his beloved JW life.......... forget about him when you learn, the hard way that your future husband and the legal parent of your child would be ready to deny you and your child a life saving blood transfusion.

    If You woke up after a bad traumatic experience....... like a serious car accident, you might find he denied giving you and your child a life saving blood transfusion because it is banned from his religion.....one of the dumbest religions out there.

    If he loves you he needs to disassociate from this religion. Your protection and/or your future family needs you along with him to protect your loved ones. Right now he is like those people in Jonestown who were blindly led by a madman to poison their children and themselves and failed to stand up to the ignorance and corruption of a made up religion.

    Every year I goggle the Jonestown images and look at the photo of a circle of otherwise normal people lying dead.......... with one couple who had a 2 or 3 year old lying between them.... their hands gently on the back of this child holding him down while he died from the poison they made him drink.They were probably good hard working people but misguided as they were unable to see how dangerous their beliefs had become, they didn't know what to do to get out.

    I cry every time I see that image.

    But I need to see it every year to remind myself that we are not playing a game here. It can get bad really bad in a heart beat with a cult or high control religion.

    Jonestown is the mass suicide of (906 people 300 plus were children).

    At the least the Blood ban causes that many people to die . It's Jonestown every year for the JW's. Sorry to put it that way but true is true.

    Lets cut to the chase. You and or a future child are in a devisint are accident.

  • moreconfusedthanever

    It is unfortunate that your heart is already taken by this man. Your path choices will hurt which ever way you choose to go.

    If you had only just met him and came here for advice, I would say run run run. Plenty of fish in the sea and all that.

    You are not a JW. The elders have no say over you or control of you.

    You should continue to research this religion as much as you can. Share what you find with your boyfriend. It is NOT a harmless, loving religion. It IS a mind control cult.

    He started this relationship with you in contravention of the rules of the cult. The burden is his not yours.

    Make no mistake, if you want to continue to see him, you will be expected to convert.

    Choose wisely.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    Do you take this man and his elders as your lawfully wedded husband? If the answer is no, drop him.

  • smiddy3

    Kom197 ,You sound like an intelligent young woman who has her head firmly implanted on her shoulders whatever you do don`t prove me wrong by continuing to be involved with this guy whose thinking is torn between satisfying the Elders of his religion and his penis .

    I`m sorry to put it so bluntly but that is what it boils down to.

    Jehovah`s Witnesses believe a marriage is a three-fold unit , the bride ,the groom ,and Jehovah (read the Elders /Governing body / and WTB&TS organization )

    I`m sorry you have wasted so much time with this guy.

    And if you decide to stick it out with this guy and his religion you will be the loser .

    By the way welcome to the forum you may have helped some other lurkers on here with your experience

    OH and please keep us informed of your decision and how things pan out in your life as it can be a big help to others who may find themselves in a situation like yours.

    Whatever path you tread I wish you all the best and the best of luck.



  • Diogenesister

    I'm sure you'll get lots of good advice here, but I don't think I can do better than direct you to a short series of posts by a chap who was in a similar situation to yourself. His fiancée, or rarther her family, were jw's and it was made known that in order for her family to accept him and the relationship to continue, he must begin attending kingdom hall meetings and a weekly " Bible"( read Watchtower) study with a jw brother.

    This is his extremely moving and well written account. He was also, by the way, a Christian who like yourself respected the faith of others.

    My experience dating a JW

    My experience dating a JW https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/comments/5muv0x/my_experience_dating_a_jw/

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