For a long time, I was convinced Jehovah witnesses were just people preaching the word of god in a different way than other christians. I was shown the real truth over the past few months.
I've been friends with this guy for over 5 years. We've been through our trials and tribulations and finally in October of last year we decided to date. It was exciting and everything a loving relationship is. He however is a Jehovah Witness. I knew him before he was a witness, but because of circumstances in his life, he sought redemption in a congregation because he was lonely and lost. I was happy he was trying to find God, until I found out what this "religion" was really about.
I knew he was a Jehovah witness when I agreed to be his girlfriend, he knew he was a Jehovah witness when he asked me out. He did it anyway without hesitation and without believing it was wrong. We spent 5 wonderful months together. Of course we discussed our different beliefs, but he always reassured me we could somehow make it work and I always went out of my way to show I respect his beliefs. Everything was fine, until he asked me to visit his Kingdom Hall and I accepted. His elders noticed me and they knew I wasn't a part of the JW. So a week later, he was called to have a meeting with his elders. Now this process was nerve wracking for men because he was straight out told the meeting was about me. So days before while we are spending time together I express to my then boyfriend that I am afraid of what they will tell him about me, as I do my best to respect his religious beliefs I don't believe I should be condemned. He assured me that he has free will and that he would not be breaking up with me and that we were going to be ok ( mind you this was literally two days before he went to talk to his elders). The night he "had the conversation" he immediately texted me and told me our relationship is a problem and we have to break up. Up until that point in our relationship, he never seemed guilty about being with me or about the level of intimacy we had together ( all of which he instigated we do together). He did spark our intimate relationship and I did not mind. He however mentioned that he wanted to start refraining from being intimate and I agreed that we should wait to "go all the way." However even after he said this he still pushed for us to intimate together. He didn't seem to have any regrets, or feel guilty about it and never mentioned feeling anything about it until his elders requested to talk to him. So back to the night he spoke to his elders, I don't know what was exactly said but I'm starting to piece it all together. He said all they did was give him advice and bible scriptures, but he has free will and he has made the decision to break up with me two days ago. But two days ago he was still very sure that we would be ok and not break up.
Other points became very clear to me that he was debating with his elders to not make him choose between me and God. He said he told them that I was trying to help him stay true to his faith ( I only wanted him to be committed to God) and his elders said that they wanted me to meet them and meet with other sisters of the congregation. So, he's admitting to me he was basically having this debate with them, how am I supposed to believe that they didn't push him to break up with me? None of it adds up. Then he hit me with the uneven yoking concept. Which really hit me, because he's accusing me of not being a believer of God, but I know when his elders told him this, they meant I was not a believer of their organization. Why would anyone commit their soul to an organization? That's not God that's not religion. I saw a clear switch of character in my now ex boyfriend from an hour before he went to speak to his elders to the very moment he got back home. Just hours before that meeting we made plans to do things together, he was expressing his love to me as we normally do, and it seemed like nothing would happen. I know this decision hurt him, he looked very torn and confused and frustrated when we met up and talked. But he said he could not turn his back on Jehovah which confused me because I never asked him to turn his back on God. He said we could still have a future together if I chose to commit myself to the Jehovah Witness organization. So I did my research because none of this made any sense.
I've found countless stories of people who went through this. What really hit me is that people say the JW organization is a cult and that their members are brainwashed. Then I started to remember little things that happened in our relationship that pointed to his odd behavior. I'm so conflicted because I always want to respect people's beliefs and views, but how can this be right? He wants to be with me but won't because these people have convinced him that he will be betraying god by doing so. At this point, it's not even about our relationship, it's about the fear I have of what will happen to him if he stays in this organization. Is he always going to be so conflicted and give up things that make him happy? How can you truly know god this way? Especially in an organization that is known for false prophecies. I want to help him, but I really don't feel like I can. His point of being in JW is to have the people in his life and to know god. But how do you truly know god if you're not even allowed to know the other side of situations? How can you know God if youre not allowed to question anything? He needs to know that he has committed himself to a group of men and not to God. I grew up with the idea that Gods love is unconditional, boundless, and forgiving. In JW, it's their way or no way. The rest of us are basically Satan, I want to ask my ex what will happen to his family when they die. Does it not bother him that his religion believes they will all perish? The JW became a part of his life when he was very vaunerable, this is so difficult to see and I wish I knew what I know now a few months ago. I've known him for years, we have always been in sync with each other and he has loved me and has been trying to be my boyfriend since we were 14 years old ( were both 20 now). Then suddenly, he goes to one meeting, and now he barely knows me. He has said he regrets breaking up with me, but he can't turn his back on Jehovah and how this is the best life he has been given in terms of a job and what not. I want to point out to him that God did that and not the witnesses which he seems to be forgetting. He should not be part of a group of people who are out to control his life. They've even taken away his preaching rights because he was with me. I am a believer of God, and this has conflicted me so much. Advice would be greatly appreciated.