My mom was active in my life for about 2 months after my daughter was born. I think she thought now that I had child, I would want to save my childs life by returning to meetings. Little did she know but the love I had for my daughter is actually what helped me break the chains. I knew as a mother, the love I had for my daughter and was convinced I would never let a religion tear us apart. Thus she resorted to shunning me again, the wicked evil woman I am. I had an abusive mate, and really was alone in this world, save my daughter, I was too ashamed to tell my wordly family what was going on in my home. Somewhere I found the strength to end the relationship I was in. Unfortunatly he saw me as still his, and broke into the home one night, thus my second pregnancy.
Before my pregnancy for my daughter I was enrolled in school, but had to decline after I found out I was pregnant. After her birth I enrolled again for the nursing program and was to start within a month, and found out I was pregnant again, yet again I had to put my education on hold. After I had my son I enrolled one last time, I figured I would either get pregnant again or actually finish school. Fortunatly I did finish, but the hardest day in my life was handing over my son on the first day of school He was 9 month old and I my daughter was 18 months. I knew that the school would steal my time from them, and it did. I slept an average of 3 hours a night, with taking care of the house, and studying, and still trying to find quality time for them, it was a real strain. I actually did get pregnant again while I was in school. I had a miscarriage, less than 12 hours after my d&c I was back at school. I never really had time to grieve over the loss of my baby, it was several months later when it finally hit me.
I am now currently enrolled in college, I am going to try this again. The nursing program I went to was an intensive training course that lasted a year. Now I will be able to enjoy studying and take a leisurely stroll through my education. Both of my children are in Kindergarten now, and are heading for 1st grade next year. The best part of having them so close was that they both are doing things at the same time. Yes as toddlers this was a strain, but it is intersting now. If I had to do it all over I would have them this close. They are the best of friends and the worst of enemies, but they always have someone to play with.
I almost forgot to address my daughter low birth weight. Yes she was premature, actually she had what is called IGR inuterine(sp?) growth retardation. Half of her body (her head) had developed normally, but her abdomen and lower extremities were smaller. They found a microscopic knot tied in her cord. She as receiving little nutrients throughout the pregnancy, the doctor likened it to a garden hose tied in a knot. For her even to be alive is a miracle. She really has been through alot medically, and still is not completely whole, but her spirit keeps her going. She is my miracle child, and I get much of my strength from her.
Ok, you probably know more about me than my current hubby I hope I didn't bore you to death. Glad to see you sticking around, and would love to hear more about you in the future.