It was the lack of love, compassion or any kind of empathy, that made me leave after 50 years. I put up with it decade after decade, always putting it down to 'imperfect men' and making excuses for them.
But in the end, I saw what a bunch of hypocrites they really were. I was shunned because my two eldest went to university. I sat by myself on an empty row for meeting after meeting. No one would sit anywhere near me. I couldn't get anyone to work with me in the ministry because they saw me as spiritually weak. Even though I'd been faithfully going through a life threatening illness, tragedy, depression and so much hardship. My husband did everything for the brothers before he left and continued to help bros after. When he needed help...they were nowhere to be seen.
I saw old sisters sitting in nursing homes, faithful for years, no one went to see them. No elders -- ever.
Brothers suffering from depression, treated as if they were useless. I could go on. I've seen a lot in my life.
People say there are good people in the R&F and maybe there are a few, but mostly they are cold, clinical and look down on people who they don't think are good enough - in or out of the organization.
I seriously have no time for them anymore and I'm just sad it took me 50 years to realize it.
I don't know you, but I care. Everyone on this forum cares for you. Take care of yourself my dear.