JW story about the day after...

by Mike K. 47 Replies latest jw friends

  • DanTheMan
    "Great story ..."

    "We should all try to keep this picture alive inside us"

    "WOW!! "

    "Truly beautiful"

    "It did make me sob, but for at least it was joy!"

    "All I can say is WOW"

    *cleaning my partially digested breakfast off the carpet*

  • Mike K.
    Mike K.

    Hi everbody

    Sorry, didn't know that the story had been posted before. Thanks for the welcome by the way, have been lurking for quite some time, but haven't really felt the need to post. Great sequel Joenobody. I must say though, that I almost choked on my coffee when I saw my name in your little piece of satire. Please be assured that I by no means am a prospective "Harmageddon survivior", nor do I have any such aspirations. Just to clarify I'm not the author of the story. The original story (along with the comments of praise) can be found at:


    "Mike, I'd like you to meet with some of the other elders to discuss your drunken state last night. I was told by some that they were stumbled by your overindulgence."

    How did they find out about this? Who told them and why were they stumbled?

    "You do know Mike that Jehovah hates a drunkard?"

    He does. Isn't this the same guy that would be making wine "to make the heart of mortal man rejoice..."

    Regards, Mike

  • teenyuck

    Hi Mike and welcome!

    Now, tell us more about Purelanguage....you seem to have an in.....you got into the restricted area. Show us more....Please?

    Now you need to hurry; once they figure out that you are posting in both forums, you might be cut off.

  • acsot

    Day 1 was nauseating. I'm sick to think I believed that crap for so long . What a bunch of narrow-minded, delusional, judgmental, vengeful ... oh never mind, I'm ranting.

    Day 2 was a great read and much more realistic. Were you lurking at that other site also?

    BTW, welcome!

  • foreword
    We watched. It was a late model Ford. It looked in pretty good shape compared to a lot of them

    I mean....at that point in time, couldn't he have just stopped at his local GM dealer.

    Or maybe he just read in the Watchtower this recent article....

    "Now that Armaguedon has come to pass (and the birds are feasting) we need to remind all the faithful brothers and sisters that it belongs to Jehovah to decide who gets to dispose of the spoils of war. At this time, running ahead of the organisation in taking some of these for yourself is not proper christian conduct and disrespectful of theocratic arangements.

    Greedy (oops, spiritually mature) brothers will take inventory of the assets and everyone will receive according to their level of spirituality in the old system. Remember we still have your service reports, so one should be humble enough to recognize and repent from his lack of dedication, and be happy that he is still alive. One should not assume that he has a right to these. "You will reap what you sowed" and this applies even more so now in this new system". It is a time for repentance and action. We need to supply and repair luxurious accomodations for the brothers serving at our head and dispensing us with vital food at proper time. These same brothers who have served under poor conditions, more than often living an unselfish lifestyle in the old system. It is time to show your gratitude for such loving brothers.

    Anyway, the "Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society" has already filed claim (with the United Nations) to ownership of all material inventories left behind in case something like this would happen. Actually we are surprised that it did....we never thought....but, ..and,..., oh yes, we do feel sadness for those who haven't listened to our message and have paid greatly with their lives. So in light of these recent events, we know every faithful christian will learn from their mistakes and submit himself to the theocratic arrangements and stay away from the impure spoils left behind until we say it's OK to use them.

    Wait on Jehovah and you will see that it is out of a loving arrangement and disposition that we have taken these precautions.

    ......voice in the background...."Let's hurry and grab those Ferraries before any of the weak do...."


  • Mike K.
    Mike K.

    Hi teenyuck

    Restricted area, huh, you mean you can't read the stuff on that site. I haven't applied or filled out any forms, just check in (to read) now and then, to feel the current JW vibes, to gulp in some air of "innocence and naivetee", quite a vouyeristic feeling actually...anyways, you wanted more you said. I'll see what I can do, but I'm a bit curious, I can't be the only one around that can read the stuff at purelanguage.net, or?

    Regards, Mike

  • jgnat

    Every time I sit in a restauraunt with my honey when he brings up the glories of post-Armageddon earth, I take inventory. How many implements at the table would survive without the infrastructure of civilization? Six million witnesses with experience in door-to-door work, window washing, and convention organizing just couldn't pull it off. As Gopher already pointed out, oil and gasoline would not last long.

    Back to the table at the restauraunt. The straw. Would the straw make it? Not without a plastics industry. Plastics is supported by the oil industry. Refineries, millions of miles of piping, truckers, retailers, etc. etc. OK, scratch the plastic straw. How about a paper one? Darn. Need a paper industry first. And a wax factory. And a machine that rolls the paper in to little rolls and makes it waterproof. Not to mention the network of truckers and retailers to get the straw from machine to my hand. OK, scratch a manufactured straw. The women could build each straw by hand. But they still need the paper. Who is going to transport paper to them? Boy, if the women spend all their time building straws, how is everything else gonna get done? Children have idle hands. Let them build the straws. Ooops. Can't do that. I am pretty sure Jehovah is against child labour.

    Every time I see a post-armageddon picture, my mind wanders the convoluted path of how in the heck did that get there? Ice cubes, for instance. One needs a freezer, which means electricity and freon or one of the more environmentally acceptable alternatives. Or else they do it like in past and cut out blocks of river ice and store them underground. But those simple cubes of ice would then be worth their weight of gold, more valuable keeping food fresh than chipped for use in a drink. Cutting them up in to cute little cubes would be quite the chore, too. I would expect the adult's hands to be a little more calloused if they had spent the morning chipping ice cubes.

  • azaria
    "And those birds", I added, "Just listen to those birds! Have you ever seen so many birds?" We all hugged again.

    I remember seeing this before. When I get off line I'll have to read it again - or maybe I shouldn't - it's just rubish anyway. Unless I'm wrong aren't the birds eating all the people (everyone but the JW's) that weren't saved?

  • gitasatsangha

    That would cause a temporary boom in the population of carrion eaters. And what do they do when the toilet paper and maxipads are all gone.

  • teenyuck

    D'oh!!! I mis-read the thing that tells you that you are being redirected.....

    Myself and some others have posted some gems from the open area. There is a restricted area that you can join, if you are in good standing.

    I tried and was denied.....

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