Difference of age

by JH 35 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  JH

  So many times in the JW, I saw couples getting married. But what struck me so often was the difference in age between the man and wife. Often the man was 15-25 years older than the woman. I felt that it wasn't right.

  Was I wrong to feel this way, or was it normal for two people in love to get married no matter how old they were?

  I guess they knew that the new system would bring them back to the same age and there would be no problem afterwards. I wonder if they would have gotten married, if they knew that the new system was far far away.

  Do you find it ok for a man to be 20 years older than his wife? Is he stealing her youth away?
• 

  Simon

  I think the "we're going to live forever" doctrine distorts any proper consideration of age difference.

  Having said that, I'm about 9 years older than my missus ...
• 

  LB

  The guy that got me involved with JW's is 22 or so years younger than his wife. So it isn't always the man that ends up with the young babe. He was on drugs when they met. She straightened him out and convinced him that they'd both be young in 1975. Now he's 45 and she's 67. Yeah that worked out just fine. I never met a more miserable guy in my life.
• 

  Lost Diamond

  JH,

  Why do you think age should matter? Does love recognize an age difference? Some of my closest friends are 15-20 years older, and we respect and love each other's company. If I could get a long with my "older" friends so well, why would it may a difference in an intimate relationship, aside from the JW belief of living forever?

  I'm curious as to why this bothers you.
• 

  teenyuck

  I think that the JW women out number the men 5 to 1. The choice is with the brothers. No matter how stupid, fat, ugly, smelly or old, he is going to get choice goods.

  Why marry someone your own age (or in that 5 year swing) when you can get fresh stuff?

  I don't agree with it, however, watching my mother scramble for a man was disgusting. She came to realize that all the men her age (37) wanted a young, fertile sister....

  The single women were piranah when a single man came into the arena. My mother dated a divorced JW MS for about 1.5 years. He was 38. He had one kid and suddenly he dumped her for a 20 year old. I will never forget the venom my mother spew at the sister who married him. He came out and told my mother she was more fertile. My mother had two kids and two miscarriges so the odds were not high she would/could procreate at age 37.

  I cannot say it is wrong for a sister to marry an older man. I would have done the same thing if I had stayed in, I suppose. Look for the best marriage material and hope for the best.
• 

  Valis

  Having said that, I'm about 9 years older than my missus ...

  and 90 light years behind her in the good looking dept..

  Sincerely,

  District Overleer
• 

  sandy

  I don't agree with big age differences myself. But there are exceptions: If the man and woman are well over 35 then I don't care. I hate to see an older man like 45 marrying a woman under 25. That really gets under my skin! I think most men who marry younger women are just trying to find a mate they can either control or mold into exactly what they want.

  That's my opinion...........

  Sandy
• 

  JH

  Lost Diamond,

  I would not like to be married to a woman 20 years younger than me, because I would feel as if I am stealing something from her. Young people don't act like older ones. They don't have the same health, and can't participate in the same activities. I see my parents in the early seventies, and they are always sick and at the doctors.

  Just like I would pitty a child that has a very old father or mother. There is a time for everything, and you have to know when you are too old.

  It wouldn't be right to rub old age on a young person. I would not like to be married to a woman 20 years older than me, because of the same reasons.

  People 20 years apart have different things to say and listen to different music, and don't have much in common.

  A difference of 10 or 15 years may not seem alot when you are 35, but when you are 60 and older, it really shows. Usually at 60 or 65 you become old all of a sudden, and your health goes down fast. That would be terrible for a young woman of 45 to be stuck with an old grouchy man of 65 complaining of his aches day in day out.

  That's my opinion.

  I respect yours.
• 

  teenyuck

  Having friends that are in a different age catagory is different than climbing in bed with them. While true love has no boundaries, true love in the JW borg is hard....between chaperones and marry early so you don't fornicate, people get married for the wrong reasons.

  There were so many more single sisters than brothers....since you are not to go outside your faith, you are cutting yourself off from many, many choices. And opportunities. And people in the same age group.

  I do, however, believe that Anna Nicole Smith loved the old guy....just the twinkle in his eye was enough to make me want to jump in bed with him!
• 

  sandy

  There is a time for everything, and you have to know when you are too old.

  Well said JH!!!