Motherly Love, that "Unbreakable Bond"
Ugh so much loss due to that craptastic cult and the drones that follow it. I'm sorry it cost you so much but glad you and your dad reconnected.
I won't be attending my mom's funeral either. She brought that poisonous garbage into our home and wrecked our family with it. I truly blame her for so much, regardless of her motives, and think she's a truly awful person. I have compassion for what got her there, but find it hard to let go of the destruction she brought in and her continued adherence to it.
So glad you still had some family, and that experience overseas sounds amazing. Good for you.
Not just didn't talk to me, but made it obvious that she wasn't talking to me. I was having a conversation with my brother's new father-in-law for instance and she came up, talked to him, kept her back to me and then walked off.
Geesh. As delusional as my own mother is, I'm doubtful she would capable of doing this, but perhaps she would.
It is only when you start parsing some of the issues in individual lives affected by this cult, that you really start seeing the damages it causes. I think most Jdrones don't really visibility over this stuff. They just have this idea that if someone wants to leave, they can, and that's it.
Even when my mom had her full mental mind and I would ask her about shunning family, she would say you can talk to you're family, only not talk about JW stuff.
I believe in the 70's that is what they said. My mom just could not wrap her head around shunning family, so she just closed her hearing. la la land in a good way I guess.
Of course my sister and I were never Baptized. The JW are pushing so hard now, I have no idea what she would have done today if we were disfellowshipped.
So sorry you have to go through this. It must be just so awful
Wow simon that is really tough! Im sorry to hear that but glad you were able to reconnect with your father and brother !
Is It really that long since you emigrated ? Nothing stands still and in that time some brilliant posters and people on here have passed away, keeping the site on the straight and narrow with family responsibilities growing must be trying at times, but whereas your mother can turn away the growing band of apostates must salute you for your fine works ( sounds a bit like TM School Counsel ,) and thank you for providing this refuge from the storm away from WT and its nastiness. WT always hinted that the org was like a mother, well some mother, some family, You are truly apprciated for what you do, on here, and no shunning from anyone can block that.
Too bad Simon that your own mom would do that to her own flesh and blood! I faded several years ago and so far so good on the shunning bullsh*t!
When I started to wake up, the shunning sh*t was one of the very big issues that I could not reconcile and it really accelerated my exit. When I see a df'ed person today, I make it a point to say hello to them and sometimes I get very strange looks from the 'sheeple' that see me doing so!
I like Simon, he does a great job with this site and most of his views and thinkings are very similar to my own.
It's nice to read experiences like this to see the people behind our usernames...sad though on the actual contents.
To lose a parent in death is hard but to have a parent make themselves dead to you as in the case of Simon's mother is tragic considering she still has life.
I feel fortunate that none of my family are "in" because I was the only convert.
It is stories like Simon's that need to be reiterated to those that say the WT does not harm or split up families.
Thank you sharing this story.
I was telling this new family we found about the JW shunning. I said I know it's all about punishing us, just like the god they worship...he's a BIG punisher. But how do you not "feel" anymore about a person? I guess they just can.
I really hate this religion.
Fist of all Simon, im sorry for your loss. My condolences to you.
As regards to your mother, the brainwashing is strong with that one (mine's exactly the same). Now that we're out we see the obvious absurdity of it all and it's annoying as f**k.
I read this and thought of the next time i'd ever see my family. It could only ever be at a funeral. Not my mothers, i wouldn't attend her's after what she's done to me, but if one of my siblings were to die that's the only time i'd ever see them. And i imagine it'd go exactly like you've described. I wonder how i'd handle the situation, would i approach them? would i pretend the elephant isnt in the room?
But then... i doubt i'd even be informed if one of my family members died.
Thanks for the thoughts and kind words everyone. It is tough to share some things, esp. as I'm a rather private person naturally, but in some ways it's easier to do it online and a little cathartic.
I think it's important to do though so that people can see what the religion is really like and we can point to these personal experiences to show that no, it is not any kind of "loving" organization and it does break families apart and cause unnecessary hurt.
The way people behave to those of us who simply leave are based on direct instruction from the leadership who couldn't give a shit about the people they are supposed to care about, they just want to protect their own bottom line and their own position and people who question that are the biggest threat to them.
Sadly, people like my mother would rather blindly follow some old farts that she doesn't know and that she'll never meet instead of simply saying hello to her own son.
The irony is that people who do actually do things wrong are still welcomed and even protected by them and their grubby groupies. I guess as long as you tip your cap to their authority, they don't care if you molest children, commit crimes or any number of things that they claim to abhor. But OMG if you should decide that they don't speak for god, then they think you have done something wrong!
Time has gone fast and we've been in Canada now for well over a decade. In many ways it makes it easier to just forget about them and they become a distant memory. Being over there and seeing them brings it back in the short term but I can go back to living my life and forgetting they exist.
I wonder if they genuinely believe they are living in a spiritual paradise right now or are they like some fool that's been conned out of their life savings and doesn't want to admit they were taken in?