How Many Here EVER Considered Going Back To Meetings?
The last few meetings were excruciating. I had to keep my head down so no one saw my mouth drop open at the audacity of the Governing Body to use scriptures to boast about themselves. Have you ever experienced sleep walking? Where you believe you are at a certain place or doing something and it is real - until you realize that it can't be true and you are dreaming? The scene suddenly dissolves and you see what is really there.
Going back would be like going to an episode of the Twilight Zone. You'd see people who don't know that they are in a never ending dream. Anyone see "Dark City"? Always riding the train trying to get to the beach and never arriving.
Only for my mothers sake. I love her to death and she's my best friend, but going back would make me so freaking miserable. The last times I went, I didn't even sing or put my head down to pray. As time went by, I tried to think of something to say to her, until one day, I mentally conceptualized a thesis and asked her to join me to a nice lunch away from her house, literature, family or days of meetings that have an ability to ruin the rest of your day mentally and physically.
My mom always hounded me about going back to the hall, but with all good intent and full of love. She didn't want to lose me. After chugging my second pint of Gulden Draak and eating my garlic burger, I crackled this out, more or less: "Mom, I love you but not your faith. I'll prove to you that I will continue to be a good son, without being a good Jehovah Witness. Loving, 'the truth' for me is like loving the color brown, (my favorite color is red) it's something I grew up finally knowing, and I can enjoy the color brown and see how other people apply it to their lifestyles and or muses, but I just knew it wasn't my favorite color and it never will be. Saying I love it would make me a hypocrite and I'll be miserable whenever I wear it or tell people about it. I'll be your prodigal son, who knows, maybe I'll come back some day, pray for me, but please don't leave me. You're the only thing I have faith in, and you're the only thing and soul I'm afraid of hurting. I know having you as my foundation makes me weak, but I don't care. I'll drive you to the meetings when you get old, I will protect a Jehovah Witness under my house, but I will also do the same with anyone else who is being hurt or persecuted. I'll cook for you when your hands hurt and give you money for the contribution box if you feel you don't have enough and will wake up and take you to the hall if you can't see anymore. My love for you is only equal to my assurance that being a witness is not for me."
She only cried in response, but when we got back home, she gave me a long hug and told me she'd never abandon me, even if it cost her her life in the end. It hurts writing this down but I feel so lucky being able to hug her everyday and her telling me to be safe. It feels good finally sharing this. I hope more people find a way through. *phew* I think I need a beer.
I walk away about 1995. Been in a KH 3 times once invited to repair an electronic panel in the mechanical room (they did not know I was worldy yet)
I said I no longer had the software to look at. When I was there the "pioneer sisters" were very nosy on who I was. they were in the back room getting ready to go in "service" I was rude to them like F** off.
Next time I was on a long car trip and stop to see some old JW friends.
I had no Idea it was the memorial. To be nice they got me a white shirt and tie to wear. Got to shake hands with the group. I also introduced to the circuit overseer. I shock hands with him and under my breath I said F U A hole. So After the song and 5 mins in, I said I had to go to the rest room. Then I went out to my jeep and listened to music.
The last time.was 10 years ago I was on a 3200 mile trip and looked up an old JW friend . He had to attend his sunday meeting. So I just walked out side a stayed in his car. But I did go in just to use the bath room . After I was standing out side waiting for him and the JWs wanted to know who I was. I told them I was XXX buddy from 50 years. Boy they looked puzzled, wondering why I never came in. So that is my story.
I left after the Memorial of 2007, but I have been back a few times. I went to the Memorial one year later, but that was on a tropical island and due to specific circumstances. I went to one wedding and two funeral talks, the latter being my father-in-law last year.
It's tough, being married to an active JW, to just say NO to entering a Kingdom Hall. It sort of feels like giving power to tWatchtower the same way some members say that used furniture from a garage sale is possessed by demons. The way to prove this is nonsense is to keep your garage sale chair. Well, to prove it has no power over me, I will attend an occasional event like a funeral talk. I doubt I will be going to any JW weddings anymore.
I left in Jan 2007 and have never stepped foot in a KH since that date.
I did have an idea of going back in August 2007 but that was quickly destroyed by stuff I read in the paper about the ministerial servant and child abuser Michael Porter.
Hell to the NO!
It would take a full frontal lobotomy to get me back to going to meetings.
I loathed the meetings with a passion. When I first realised that JW's didn't have the truth, it was one of the initial delights of leaving for me. The first was the thought that I could have sex with whoever was up for it, the third was that I wouild never again have to go from door to door.
my fade started in early 1993, I even missed the memorial that year, I did not set foot in the KH for the entire year only for the memorial of 1994, no more meeting attendance, than I was separated and divorced from my wife by 1995, a brief visit to the DA of 1996 ( I stayed less than 1 hour) and that was it.
I have been to the kingdom hall once, to attend my brother's wedding. That is the one and only time since I left in 2011.
I have to say I have considered going back, but I always come to my senses. LOL
When I left I said I would give it six months and if I missed it I would go back. That didn't happen.