How Many Here EVER Considered Going Back To Meetings?

by minimus 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • Xanthippe

    Like you Minimus only for my mother's funeral. My husband always said he'd take my daughter to a KH when she was old enough so he could show her how ridiculous it is and warn her off religious cults. He never got the chance berofe he passed away but she's bright enough to have worked it out for herself anyway. That's my girl!

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    for a very brief few days back in the late 80's i did consider going back--as a way to get round my own kids shunning me. a talk to my old jw dad put my mind at rest--he said it would only work if i really loved jehovah! i fell at the first hurdle.

    in the 90's my wife was invited to a cousin's son's wedding--in ther local k-hall. we went! i saw a few nudge each other at the sight of me in there. but now--the young couple are long divorced--and well out of the cult. the parents--also long out: and as for the k hall--its been sold and the bruvs have to share another hall.

    when my old jw mum died--a service was held at the crematorium..a dub event. i endured it for my dads sake.

    when dad died last year--i made the arrangments. no service--just a committal at the crem. just me--a couple of friends--both xj's...and a couple of staff from the care home he lived at. no jw's attended..mainly because i never told any.

  • hybridous

    I tried a couple of memorials and assemblies after I formally 'left'. I'm sure I only did so because it made people happy to hold onto 'hope' for me.

    When I realized that I really didn't believe any of this shit, it was just impossible to sit there anymore.

    After all, why should I bear the burden of living a lie just to make people happy...when these people didn't really give a toss about me (apart of me being a witness)?

    I know there are folks mentally 'out' but physically 'in', and I offer no judgement of the decisions of anyone else...but when I realized that I had no meaningful relationships within the cult that could stand on their own, well then, I guess my happiness and my life are too valuable to squander for the sake of someone else's delusions...

    The years have gone by, and only verified my decision to break cleanly from the cult.

  • notsurewheretogo

    You can't...once you KNOW the TTATT how can you go back in terms of any form of worship?

    Family/friends would be the only reason...and the fasad that you are still one for that reasons but nothing else.

  • Done

    Ditto. Can't believe how few "friends" have checked in on me since I left.

    Been out over 2 years. No wrong doing, no df, no drama. One meeting I was there, the next not.

    2 elders stopped by about a month later to check on me. One elder one other time. Then the usual week or so before the memorial I get an invite.

    Do have to compliment the one elder. Warm summer day, I was mowing the lawn. He stopped with the Saturday service car load, but parked the car so they were out of earshot. He then apologized for the mishandling of all my complaints about my now ex wife over the years. (One big one we discussed was the multiple episodes of violence she displayed. I called the police one time, they pressed charges and she was guilty in court. Elders told me I shouldn't of called police because it brings a bad name to Jah. The next time she got violent I called elders, not police. While she was still under restrictions and had a criminal record for domestic violence, they decided this time was a one time thing and really I made her behave like that). Yup, I'm done

  • minimus

    Great thread!!! It's tough to even think about returning to the vomit.

    Still, some JWs are nice people. But not nice enough for me to go back!

  • tiki

    Only one funeral for a very close friend. Never ever...nada no way. The funeral was fascinating...some looked at us like we had tails and horns..and some were all huggy lovey...and some acted scared of us. I've had plenty enough nuttiness in my life...not ever going headlong in for more from any place or group or situation.

  • stuckinarut2

    "you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free"

    I stepped on a nail once, I don't need to step on one again to know how dangerous and painful it is!

  • Old Navy
    Old Navy

    Question from All or Nothing:

    Old navy- how can I best wake up my still in family that they are in fact part of a high control cult as you put it?

    As many here have advised, "waking up" any who are "deeply in" is a very difficult proposition because they're "mind controlled" to reject all things which run counter to their indoctrination. The Cult expends much effort in the conditioning process to instill great fear in the minds of the "believers" regarding "apostate" thoughts and literature.

    Those who've had the best success warn about the temptation to make overt effort to convince the "believers" of the errors in their "faith" and the characteristics of the Cult. The risk is that rather than planting seeds to awaken them, the effort may instead drive them deeper into the Cult.

    To me the best advice that I've heard is to simply treat them with loving kindness and show them by example that you're morally upright, ethical, honest and happy. Special emphasis on happy. What they see in you by example is much more powerful as a positive influence than anything said.

    Once they've awakened to the point where they ask questions and are clearly looking for answers then more serious discussion can begin. But, they stress, the discussion must be non-confrontational, gentle, full of kindness and concern, and with much happiness.

    That sort of advice to me makes much sense. I don't know if any of the discussion I had with active witnesses in the past ever contributed in any way to their potential awakening. I've not had any contact at all with any that I knew previously.

  • new boy
    new boy

    Actually I went back to the memorial this year and even partook. They were very surprised.

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