clam bake, if he text's her again she needs to send a message back asking him to speak with you, or just ignore the message. But really if you are uncomfortable about it then you need to say so. You could phone him & record the chat so you have some back up if he gets funny about stuff. What ever you choose to do go with your gut feeling bout him & put a stop to it sooner than later. May be he has become a little infatuated with her, sometimes when a man looks at a couple who are happy they can think "if I just have that woman then I will be as happy as her husband"' they don't get that the wife is who she is because of the man she's married to. I could be wrong I don't know his situation, I do know JW can be very jealous of other peoples happiness because their lives in this religion are so negative. Protect your wife. Congrats on your new beautiful baby.
What would happen ??
Text him back using your wife's phone saying she is indisposed, but he can contact you if he needs anything.
That way he knows that no text messages to her are private.
Then see what happens.
Is he married?
Maybe you should start texting his wife to check on her meeting attendance and spiritual activities?
@ - Clambake - CONGRATS on the baby, bro. They are a lot of hard work, but SOOOOO worth it, lol.
Now in regards, to the over-stepping, uber-dub, dopey Elder, if his actions, are really and truly bugging you, which its quite evident they are, you SHOULD let him know whats up. Every situation is different, and of course, we do not have all the "details", and particulars, but if you feel he is over stepping his boundaries, then you gotta put an end to it.
I know you have a JW wife, but i dont know how "up" on the JW "culture" you are, but some elders feel they are just looking out for the "flock" or the "weak", and MOST of them do it incorrectly as stupid, imperfect MEN, and those are the ones with "good" intentions. Forget about the ones with bad intentions. Like if an Elder DOES have an infatuation with YOUR wife. He could be coming up with all types of "scenarios", on how he may be her "savior", or "knight in shining armor", and his perception of her "life" could be all twisted in his mind. You may very well have to "school" him, on "WHATS UP".
Wher i come from, Brooklyn/Staten Island NYC, this "cat" would learn real kwick not to be texting my old lady, and it would stop. That being said, every situation is different. The best advice i can give you, is if this bothers you, and i know it does, lol, then STOP it. How you do that, is up to you, but keeping your wifes "feelings" as your main priority, should dictate how you go about this.
Be tactful, be firm and to the point, but get your message across logically, and put HIM/THEM in a place of empathy. Like, how would he like it, and use WTS own doctrine as your foundation, so you dont come across asa "paranoid" unbeleiver, but from a scriptural basis as the "head".
Good luck, i wish you the best. I am sure it will work out, and once you put your feelings out there to this man, it should stop. If it doesnt, grab the guy by his left ear, and rip him out of his seat, during the Sunday public talk, lol, just kidding(maybe).
Texting your wife is extremely inappropriate.
You have the right to let the other elders know that Joe Elder alone is texting your wife.
Elders' Manual p. 56
Cautions Regarding Assisting Sisters
27. Elders and ministerial servants must never
meet alone with a sister not closely related to them
and should avoid becoming the sole confidant of an
individual of the opposite sex who is experiencing
marital problems. This includes lengthy phone conversations.
Of course, this does not mean that it
would be inappropriate for an elder to talk with a sister
while in the full view of others at her home, at
Berrygerry beat me to it!
I was gonna emphasize the same point. Elders are strongly admonished to never approach sisters alone. You could extend that to text messaging. Hell--they do! According to them, simply texting members of the opposite sex is considered "dating" (this is even on the 'About Us' section on JW dot bOrg!).
Either this guy is an over zealous newbie who doesn't quite get the elder protocol yet, or he really is trying to chum up to her. It would be entirely different if he had his wife text your wife, but this isn't what's happening. I wonder what HIS wife thinks--or if she even knows.
If I were in your situation, I'd contact 2 other elders on the body and explain that A) he's not following procedure for elders, B) it makes you very uncomfortable and C) this guy is opening himself AND the congregation up to severe liability. Explain to them that you're not accusing anyone of having bad motives, but, there are a lot of jealous, insecure, over-protective hothead husbands & loopy "Potipher's Wives" out there (JW or not) who could easily misunderstand things & make a really nasty, publicized & embarrassing mess over something like this.
So, what are you gonna do, Clammy?
The part that made me upset is about four months ago he called a private meeting with my wife about her pregnancy. I think we all know what that is about and I was super pissed off. I walked into the meeting in the KH with him and another elder and shut things down and told him to mind his own business. Wife said it looked like I was going to kick the shit out of him.
Wife texted him and said sorry about that. He replied it was “ don’t worry about it and he needs to realize WE disagree with him on certain things. “ The WE part pissed me off and I swear for the life of me I have never been able to find that stupid blood card. Unless there is something I don’t know about in JW land, I am not even sure she has one.
You would think he would have fucking learned after that but texting my wife about having no hours after having a baby ? Really, you can’t figure it out ?
I will let it happen one more time and I will say something.
Yeah, he does have a wife and she is pretty hot and Asian. They have no children. I am pretty sure they say its “ We will in the new system “ but in reality she doesn’t want to touch him. He is fat and bald and covered in moles.
Clammy - He is fat and bald and covered in moles.
Is he one of the governing body?
Yeah, he does have a wife and she is pretty hot and Asian.
Start texting her and see how HE feels.
Simon - "I am a firm believer that if you take a step backward when someone is going too far then it simply encourages them to take a step forward - it's better to push back."
The more shit you take from people, the more they'll give you.