How do I handle this?

by Phoebe 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • Gorbatchov

    "Thanks for your kind attention. I'm all right, comfortable with the current situation and please respect that I have no need for any help.

    Regards, "

    That helped in our situation. Did only not worked out when the CO rings 5x a day the doorbell, like he did!!


  • Alive!

    With respect to TFG....I'd stay well away from saying I'm dealing with private/personal problems - she and her Mother could go to town on that imagination wise and you can bet your bottom dollar your response won't stay suggests you are problematic or are experiencing problems ( of course! You don't go to meetings!!!!!) and that's not what it's about.

    Isn't it horrible having to manoeuvre through all this stuff?

  • pale.emperor

    Did it read something like this?:

    A letter that was posted through my letter box by an anonymous "sister" in my old congregation. There are nice people out there, regardless of the cult they're involved in.

    Why not surround the happiness that it brings to be part of the huge JW family? If you have faith in Jehovah, he will listen to your prayers so as to help you out. I have actually been witness of his ‘grandeur’. He is a God of love and compassion. Actually, i am only 18 years old and i have known enough to be able to talk about the Jehovah’s Witnesses. James 1:13 says that if you are experiencing some difficulties, it is not Jehovah who is testing you because he can’t even do that to his witness. This is why in the bible it is said not to fraternize with ‘The World’ because such as 1 John 5:19 say ‘ We know that we originate with God, but the whole world is lying in the power of the wicked one. ’ They are using temptation to tear us apart from what is really good. 1 John 5:3–4 shows us how Jehovah loves his witnesses and with our faith we can follow the path he’s showing us. Nothing is difficult when you believe in Jehovah.

    I hope that someday you will see how the world is full of cruelty and that you come back amongst us. Remember 1 day for Jehovah is 1000 years for us, the end is near. Just take your bible for only a few minutes and read verses that you know and appreciate. This will be a great help.

  • dubstepped

    Ignore the elders, ignore the letter, quit engaging with them. You're only encouraging them to continue. You can't fade and regularly engage at the same time. They are opposites of one another.

  • scratchme1010

    So, how do I respond to it? I can hardly tell this slip of a girl that I won't set foot in the hall ever again, that my brother got away with molesting me and the other zillion reasons I now know about this religion. Plus I am fading, I don't want to give anyone a reason to report me.

    So, do I just send a nice letter back, thanking her for her concern or what? What would you do?

    I wouldn't respond. To me it's clear that cynical you is right. That's a person that you just don't know, and the entire event is just as strange as the rest of the JWs. It is a manipulative thing.

    The important thing here (in my humble opinion) is you, not only how do your feel about that kind of plot to get you back into the meeting, but also, how do you feel about those efforts? Do you have doubts about your decision for it? Is that making you think twice?

    I don't know your particular reasons for leaving the JWs, but whatever void they were filling, have you replaced them with something more fulfilling?

    The JWs love to have the last word in everything, and they like things done their way and because they say so, and they use whatever they can come up with to accomplish that, including using children (trust me, I was used that way many times).

    Do you want those people in your life? If no, ignore and keep going with your life. Fading is not for them, is not something they like and will let you do peacefully. Fading is you gaining the strength and support and filling your life with whatever you need so you can set appropriate boundaries with them and tell them to leave you alone when/if appropriate.

  • ttdtt

    Ignore it - dont engage.

  • DesirousOfChange

    If your desire is to “fade”, Then do nothing to put that at risk!

  • tiki

    Send the kid a nice Christmas card.

    But seriously this is all just emotional manipulation. Of you really feel a need to do something send the girl a nice card...nothing remotely mentioning religion or meetings or any of that... Just a hope you are well and happy...and if you want get her a gift card to some local store.

    How is that hairdo by the way!?!

  • Lostwun

    I am in agreeance with everyone who said to ignore. It may be all sweet letters and I miss you right now but i guarantee you in about 2 more months time when they see its doing little to bring you back to the kingdom hall that the same little girl and whoever else put her up to it will be ignoring you and acting like you don't exist out in public.

    Carry on with your fade and making a new life with new friends who aren't just trying to get you to do what they want.


  • LisaRose

    Ignore it. No matter how well intentioned, it's a manipulation.

    It's like you just got clean from drugs and your old dealer comes around again acting really friendly and nice. No matter how tempting, it's not in your best interest to engage.

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