Do you find it hard to be around active JW's now?

by EdenOne 43 Replies latest jw experiences

  • SecretSlaveClass
    No but I do know they find it hard to be around me.
  • Bugbear

    Yes actually. This because my wife is “still in” and once and a while “old friends” is “visiting us” to my encouragement, telling me how wonderful their organization is and how near the end is…… blah,,,,blah ,,, blah …. The sad thing is that I don’t want to embarrass my wife in front of her friends so I just keep quite, trying to pretend been smiling but sometimes, I feel the pressure to start an argument, then I rise from the chair and get out take a breath and start laughing. They look astonished and my wife is trying to explain my strange behavior. Sorry to say that the witness still don’t understand what was happening, they just keep on blah, blah, blah , blood doctrine wonderful, the angels will protect us, the last assembly explained so many new things, blah, blah, then I feel like vomiting.


  • jwfacts
    Great observation. The few times I have been around a JW I realise I cannot bear to listen to the tripe that they discuss. The other issue is that it is pointless having a meaningful discussion, as they do not have opinions, but simply recite what they have been told to believe about things.
  • Bugbear


    Yes you are alright. JW,s don’t want to take a discussion. They simply want to recite what they have learned, then counting the hours, and go home to their congs. Saying that they might have found a interested person a person they believe could be a future biblestudy…..blah blah blah

  • ToesUp

    Oh good Lord yes! We have some uber dub family members that can't talk about anything if it's not JW. Everything, and I mean everything, is JW. If you try to go off topic they will ALWAYS bring it back to spiritual talk. These are people who have nothing else in life. No jobs, no education & no "worldly friends."

    Typically, we can only stand so much and have to make an excuse not to get together with them or bail out as quick as possible.

    Actually, I think they are extrememly insecure. They are always bragging about their kids "spirituality" and all the wonderful spiritual things they themselves enjoy. 100% glorified ones and they are going to let everyone know it! It's all about me, me, me!!!

  • DesirousOfChange

    I ask myself: Is this why I am fading for ...? To keep friends like these?

    I pondered this question and then I realized the simple answer is: NO!

    You are fading to keep friends like ME!

    You see, I am also fading. If we (as faders) go to the pub for a few pints and happen to be seen by a local Eldub, they have no control over us and our associating together. However if one of us had DAd, the other would be at risk of being DFd for associating with a DF/DA person. It would be difficult for me to risk my "fade" just to associate with someone who made their choice to DA.


    The Nazi-Elders feel powerful when they are able to "lord it over you" and declare that you are disfellowshipped. Yes, they have symbolically STONED YOU. They have been dutiful in their task to keep clean the Congregation of filthy dissenters like you (or me).

    When you "fade" as a spiritually weak, inactive JDub, they are commanded to "assist" you, encourage you, and help you to "Return to Jehovah" (I keep waiting to receive a new Brochure). YOU STRIP THEM OF THEIR POWER TO "DEAL" WITH YOU. Thus they never show themselves -- not even to encourage. Good riddance!

    In our personal case, there is only one JW couple who still occasionally contact us. We were all close, and we are glad to still hear from them. They keep in contact and don't seem "preachy" in most cases, though they do "remind" us of upcoming events. We would totally lose their contact if we DAd.

    There are also the occasional times we bump into JWs at social events. (Events that we definitely would have been excluded from if DAd.) On these occasions, we enjoy the social chit-chat with those who are not Cult-Zealots. Many are there just for the social atmosphere. However, if we were DA/DF, they would feel obligated to shun us (or risk the wrath of the Eldubs.) We are choosing to "fade" for them too. They do not WANT to shun us, and they do NOT shun us now, because they are not obligated to do so.

    Let's go grab a couple "cold ones" where we know they will all go hang out after the meeting. After all, they can't do a damn thing to us faders.


  • LongHairGal

    Yes, I do.

    I am a long-time "fader" who has a couple of JW friends left. One is smart and knows she's wasting her time if she attempts to talk about it. The other occasionally launches into stupid speeches or what she thinks is bragging. Meanwhile, she has no idea I know more about her stupid religion than she does, and that is my cue to tell her something negative that was in the news.

    Most people are correct that the JWs are more extreme in their bragging nowadays and I believe it is defensive because the religion has taken a hit with losing so many in the last two decades and also because of bad publicity, which it deserves.

  • John Aquila
    John Aquila

    Let's go grab a couple "cold ones" where we know they will all go hang out after the meeting. After all, they can't do a damn thing to us faders.


    Exactly Doc. In the organization there are many-???? that are on the verge of waking up but are afraid of talking to anyone for fear of being hunted down by the elders. Several of these call me and ask questions. Depending on who it is, I will give them a little bit of ttatt dribble. Not only that, but a lot of the single good looking sisters love to talk to me, some even invite me for coffee or dinner. I don't ever pass up an invitation from a beautiful woman anymore.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once
    We have JW family visiting this weekend. Not looking forward to the cult speak. They love JW. Orgy. Same story, "isn't it wonderful"? No, its not.
  • blondie

    It's all fake...I remember what they talked about when I was still an acceptable companion. It's as if they want to prove how good a jw they are and how out of it you are, not knowing the new light and the new vocabulary...but I know what they love to talk about...other jws and their flaws or perceived flaws. Bought a new house...that jw is materialistic. Dress too wild....immoral or close to it. Husband not an MS/elder...holding back not reaching out, no congregation status for the family.

    I used to go around the KH and eavesdrop on the so-called righteous ones: sports games coming up, their favorite team, how they're doing, how they miss some of the games that the meetings interfere with. I knew elders that ran out to their vehicles two or three times during the sessions to see how the game was going.

    Their conversations with inactive jws are always qhoreographed to "encourage" them to come back to tell them what they are missing.

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