Do you find it hard to be around active JW's now?

by EdenOne 43 Replies latest jw experiences

  • EdenOne

    I do - actually, it's become close to unbearable.

    And herein lies the paradox: I tried to fade in the illusion that I might keep contact with family and friends still "in". Was it worth it? Because not only most of them shun me anyways, but I find it almost unbearable to be around them, especially when the cult chit chat kicks in: every cute animal video clip triggers endless comments about glimpses of the future paradise and how "God did it"; those greasy praises to the Organization and the Governing Body; the dumb awe about every JW Broadcast and those cheesy music videos; the endless drivel against other religions when one knows perfectly well that we're no better than them; the endless flow of "experiences" of field service or spectacular conversions into "the Truth"; the relentless congregation gossip; and so on ...

    I ask myself: Is this why I am fading for ...? To keep friends like these?


  • Driving Force
    Driving Force


    I know how you feel, although I am not DA'd or DF'd all shun me even my own wife and we live in the same house but have separate bedrooms. Apart from my wife I have no contact with JWs for me they are all dead, I did none of them any harm.

    Was the fade worth it for me, no it was not I only faded to try and keep my family intact, but this cult has enormous power over my wife. The marriage is at an end. I hope things go well for you though.


  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury

    Yep, same here. Anytime my family or other witlesses are around and jibber jabbering about "da troof" it just makes them sound totally cultified to me now and i hate it.

    I just keep my trap shut and change the subject when appropriate or else just leave them to it and go somewhere else. I also try and remember what it was like before I woke up. I was cultified too at one stage.

  • John Aquila
    John Aquila

    I faded, but I have no desire to associate with former JW friends. Just don't have any common grounds with them anymore. But at the same time I can talk with all of them when necessary things come up without having to go through the shunning process. That helps in many situations which if I was DA or DF it would make it more difficult in certain situations. So for example, if I see them at the store, movie, work, etc. they don't shun me but acknowledge me and we both go on our way without the needed stress.

    The less stress in life the better.

  • Pistoff

    Yes, nearly impossible; they are the most naive, insecure people I know.

    They constantly seek reassurance that I am still a 'believer', that I am having a bad life because I don't go to the kingdom hall.

    I used to feel bad that I could not see the friends I grew up with; now I feel bad after I spend any time with them.

  • stuckinarut2

    Wow, Edenone! Best thread topic ever!

    Its like you read my mind!

    Yes....I couldn't have written it any better...

    And on too!


  • maksutov
    Since I was forcibly disassociated, I have found life a bit more peaceful. The constant cult reminders were difficult to cope with before. Now I am p*ssed off about being shunned, but at least I don't have to listen to their drivel any more.
  • adjusted knowledge
    adjusted knowledge

    When I left in 1996 I still had some contact with the ones within my age range. But it was easy because they all left with the exception of one person. I would attend a meeting here and there till 2001 and then I decided even minimal contact was too much for me. The only one I associate with on a regular basis is my mom and sister, which neither are your typical witness. They simply believe and obey most of the religion's restrictions.

    I had a brief moment of association last year and found the witnesses to be more over the top than what I can recall from my youth.

  • All for show
    All for show
    I'm finding it very difficult. While visiting my parents jws stopped by. I heard about calls, lame hall stuff....and the end being right here they can taste it. Hubby lectures me that they think they are doing the right thing... I can't stand the lectures.... As a born in, you can't help but be obsessive, enthralled, and disqusted at the same time.
  • NVR2L8
    Except for one active JW who never talks about the cult in my presence I have no contact with any old "friends" from the congregation. Even family members who rarely visit avoid JW speak in my presence. A while back two of my wife's relatives attempted it and when I started asking questions they couldn't answer, they cowered and shut up. Even praying at mealtimes stopped without me saying anything. My wife will not say anything about her JW life because in fear of some comments I may make that would have her question the cult. Said isn't it, especially from people who claim to own the absolute truth.

Share this