Do you find it hard to be around active JW's now?

by EdenOne 43 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Oubliette

    Ironic isn't it.

    We try to be cool to maintain a relationship with our "still-in" relatives and friends, but the reality is: they can hardly talk about anything that is not JW/WT/GB related.

    It's all so superficial.

    Let's review: It's a cult!

  • LostGeneration
    Been a long while since I've been around any socially, but yes. I remember it being like I was among an alien civilization there for a while, absolutely intolerable after five minutes.
  • Alive!

    Just over three years ago I would not have believed that we (husband and self) would find ourselves in this place.

    Like others here, I find the company and talk of some JWs torturous.


    For us, It's the clear discernment of the lack of genuiness. The fake and Cult- like language. I never once believed with any shade of pleasure that the 'worldlies' were going to be destroyed - instead I believed that somehow they would all turn to God - and our 'seed planting' was crucial.

    I hate that cult members cannot see themselves as the 'world' views them.

    I'd challenge any to stop and ask a random dozen or so people in the street to explain Jehovahs kingdom and its purpose ...... Who would know? so much for 'warning' people.

    I pointed out to a JW friend that at the helm of the FDS, people had been delivered false prophecy and manipulative literature which employed misquoting to support 'truths'

    And we wonder why genuine people don't put their trust in the JW religion?

    I want the company of genuine people who care.

    Recent experiences have taught us that the inmates of JW are all about self protection.

    We are starting to grow again - as a couple. As people. It's been harder than hard :-)

    But, we believe it's going to be worth it.

  • EdenOne
    DoC: We are choosing to "fade" for them too. They do not WANT to shun us, and they do NOT shun us now, because they are not obligated to do so.

    You make a very good point there. As me and Mrs. Eden were reading, we looked at each other and nodded, because that's precisely why we still think it's worth it to fade - because there are other faders like us whom we would like to try and keep as friends - and I would add to that the family still in. Because by not being DF or DA, it removes the obligation to shun, and avoids embarassing and awkward situations between JW relatives, that 'wordly' relatives wouldn't be able to ever understand.

    Besides, it removes unecessary stress from accidental meetings with active JWs who won't feel obliged to shun us then, but act like normal, polite human beings.


  • EdenOne

    Also about Facebook and other social networks: many JW's seem to have a 'guilty pleasure complex' for using wordly social networks, so they appear to be exceedingly 'spiritual' or their posts (while I know that on their daily life they aren't all that), or they try hard to put a 'spiritual spin' on otherwise trivial or wordly posts. In any case, associating with these cheesy Org lovers via social networks is equaly nauseating.

    Have you noticed that?


  • notsurewheretogo
    Yeah I do too but not because I hate them, most are nice people and I had a lot of good friends in there and we had a load of good times but the conversation will always go in the direction of "Ah well the end is near" or some other bullshit that I just can't I avoid all contact.
  • tornapart
    I find it's easy with some, especially with friends who have an axe to grind, have been treated badly or can't agree with certain things (and there are many things that a lot of JWs aren't happy with). The ones that I find difficult are the ones who can't see any fault at all with the Borg. I try and keep away from those. On the occasions when I have to be in their company (because of hubby) I just try and smile, be pleasant and change the subject or just zone out.
  • Stumpy

    Yep jw conversation is definitely getting on my and Mrs Stumpy nerves.

    We were visiting family last week and some super zealous jw's popped in and ended up staying for dinner. The conversation was excruciating to listen to and I threw up a little bit in my mouth numerous times during the evening. We gave each other 'it's-best-to-stay-quiet' looks all night.

    The conversation started off talking about the Royal Commission - how Satan was out to get us, how wonderful Bro. Jackson was, that obviously the holy spirit was helping him, how jw's are way better than the Catholics because we don't hide pedophiles like they do, how horrible the lawyers were to the poor elders, how jw's better not be made to pay compensation because that's not fair and the ones that were "allegedly" abused are just being greedy! I wanted to stab someone in the eye!!!

    Then the conversation turned to the SKE school and how wonderful it is that older ones and single sisters are able to be used in a larger capacity now (not at all because no brothers are reaching out!) and how jehoober is obviously speeding things up before armageddon. They haven't even applied yet, but because of all their prayers and plans they are 100% sure they will be blessed to go. Everyone was oooing and aahhing in agreement. (Vomit moment) Then they say they are flat broke, are living with family, and have absolutely no retirement plans in place when he stops work in 10 - 15 years time. But it doesn't matter because the CO said the end HAS to come in the next couple of years. (Once again I try to control the puke rising in my oesophagus). I actually felt sorry for them at this moment. What a shock they'll get.

    Then the conversation turned to the abortion protesting. Someone said how unfair it is that we are targeted when our kids die because of not accepting blood transfusions but thousands of kids are murdered every week by abortion, which then turned into a huge pat-on-the-back fest about how awesome jw's are by single-handedly making the medical field advance in non-blood surgery. If it wasn't for them doctor's wouldn't even know about it - more puke. It was mentioned that there are far less blood related incidents lately as well which shows jehoobers blessing. I actually broke my silence here and said that maybe that has a lot to do with the fact that jw's do accept many blood products now! Wow you should of seen the death stares I got.

    And that's only half of the crap we had to sit through. Thank goodness I had a bottle of single malt waiting for me when I got home! Sad thing is we might have agreed and joined in with a fair portion of that a few months ago

  • Phizzy

    I cannot feel relaxed in their company, I wonder if I ever really did?

    But especially now, we have to be so careful of what we say.

    I no longer care about protecting them from hearing my opposing views to their beliefs, but as Mrs Phizzy and I wish to maintain our status as Faders, if we can do so without any real effort, then we keep back certain information, like spending time with XJW friends, a good number of whom are DF'd.

    Mrs Phizzy said the other day that if they did happen to get anything on us and decided to DF us she "wouldn't give a s**t".

    I agreed. We are no longer prepared to "look over our shoulder" all the time.

  • never a jw
    never a jw
    Yes, "apostates" ruined my life. Now I am a social outcast Three years ago I thought about JW's a bit crazy, but good and well behaved people. I even let my children be raised by the governing body. Today, thanks to you apostates, I have developed my first case of hate. I hate JW's leaders and, even though I still like JW's rank and file, their conversations always remind me of the people who brainwashed them, their leaders. So quite often I find myself wanting to walk away from any JW gathering. I have been ruined, but I am suing JWN JWFacts, James Penton, Carl Olof Jonsson, Raymond Franz Estate, JW Survey. and anyone here with strong opinions. I deserve monetary compensation for all the anger that they have induced in my once naive and delusional mind. "Outlaw" will be exempted because he makes me hate the GB with a laugh.

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