Most ridiculous statements from the JW stage?

by Smiles 69 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Smiles
    Smiles

    We have all sat at JW meetings and heard some ridiculous statements that were either shocking or just plain old bunk.

    Usually it is the same JW individuals that make those statements time and time again. You know the type..... you can almost expect such comments from them.

    JWs place great importance on what statements or persons are 'stage worthy'. They really try to regulate what is spoken from their stage, kind of like the F.C.C.... So hearing some extraordinarily dumb comment from their stage is always a highlight!

    What are some of the most ridiculous things you have heard spoken from the JW stage?

  • blondie
    blondie

    The study conductor asked what publication would we best learn about the qualities of God.

    One brother answered, "The Bible."

    The conductor said he was thinking of something else.

    The audience was dumbfounded.

    Finally, he had to answer his own question, by saying the new publication, "Draw Close to Jehovah."

    There were a few whispering after that. One of the other elders slipped it into his next answer that the Bible was the main publication but the publication was an aid.

    "Out of the heart's abundance the mouth speaks."

    Blondie

  • City Fan
    City Fan

    At one District Assembly the octagenerian giving the talk suddenly announced in a loud booming voice:

    "There will be no pop music in the new system!"

    Actually, looking at the state of today's charts that might not have been a bad idea!

  • SYN
    SYN

    "There will only be Kingdom Melodies in the New System."

    Actually heard that little delicacy from the platform one. Almost performed harikari when I did, too. Then the speaker really made me wanna commit suicide when he said "We will just have to write new ones to fill the gap left by the music of the old system!"

  • blondie
    blondie

    Man, SYN, that would be frightening. No Mozart, no Beethoven, no Chopin, no Schumann. Most of those jokers who give those talks are tone deaf and musically challenged. They are the same bright bulbs that switched the congregations from piano music to recorded music to sing to.

    Doesn't sound like paradise to me but hell.

    Blondie

  • Vivamus
    Vivamus

    "When she learned about the truth, sister K. got a very difficult time from her family members. Her own children made it hard for her to pursue her desire to worship Jehovah. How horrible that must have been for her, a concentration camp would have been easier to deal with"

    Said by the elder, while three of her children [my aunt, uncle and mum] and some grandchildren [three cousins and me] attended her funeral-service in the Kingdom Hall.

    Don't know if you can call this one ridiculous, but it certainly was shocking and stupid.

  • zev
    zev

    this one is a stunner:

    WHY CAN WE be certain that God has a visible organization? One reason is that he has an invisible organization.

  • undercover
    undercover

    Late 70's. Circuit Assembly. Talk on "debasing music". "Backwards masking". Specific songs are mentioned. "Stairway to Heaven", "Another Bites the Dust", "Rhiannon", "Hotel California" plus others. Specific groups are mentioned. The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Fleetwood Mac, The Eagles, Earth, Wind and Fire plus others. An actual clip of Stairway is played backwards for all to hear the Satanic message(All I heard was noise). A list of artists found to be under satanic influence was distributed throught the audience. I don't know if this list orginated from the speaker or if someone else just took advantage of the theme of the talk to hand out their propaganda, but I thought it interesting that copies of the list made it's way through a big part of the audience during this talk. I remember they had in one column the artist name, and in another column the objection about them. One that really stood out was James Taylor. The objection? He spent time in a mental institution. John Denver was on the list. Rocky Mountain High could be about drugs. Peter, Paul & Mary. Puff the Magic Dragon. Drug references. The list went on. Talk about your paranoia. My parents went through all my albums. I lost most of my favorite music because of that one talk.

  • RunningMan
    RunningMan

    I like this statement:

    "There will be no pop music in the new system!"

    Doesn't he realize that "pop" stands for "popular". So, whatever people are listening to at the time is "pop music"? If everyone is listening to kingdom songs, then they are popular, therefore they should not exist.

    Here are a couple of gems from my mom over the past two weeks. She thinks we are allowing our daughter too much worldly association:

    "Sooner or later, xxx will be violated by those boys." (referring to her 10 and 13 year old worldly cousins.

    "Watch out for lesbianism with those girls she is so popular with." (they're 12)

    "Satan is behind the school basketball team." (and, of course, all non-witness activities)

    "Every government has its own demon."

  • TheOldHippie
    TheOldHippie

    "Today's mosquitoes are the off-spring of the ones Pharao's magicians created, because God would never have created anything in need of blood for survival."

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit