STOP Talking to Your Family OR ELSE! (page 7)

mamochan13

Oceanblue - welcome. I felt for you reading your story, having gone through so much of the same. There is some really good advice and support here that will help you transition through the next period, so I encourage you to keep reading and posting.

I missed this thread first time around and it was quite disturbing to read. I thought I had read every word ever written by the WTS regarding DFing during the time I was DFd and begging for reinstatement, but there were a few new ones. It did bring back a strong memory of the feelings of hatred that were encouraged in us and it makes me ill now to remember how we were supposed feel about the DFed, particularly after having gone through it and knowing that I was not the horrible person they were making me out to be.

cobrother

I don't agree with some of the Watchtower's procedures, but I do agree with this one. Sad to say some day the pressure put on the organization will force them to change it.

Gayle

odeanblue, I am happy to see you are motivated to go on with your life. You feel you lost some good years, your teenage years, but you still are young,,you can have a very good life yet. I hope you can see your way to go on to college. Try to build on things that you love to do, positive things, you deserve to have a good life. Care about yourself, treat yourself with understanding and encouragement, as you would a friend. "Love your neighbor as yourself." We were never allowed to love and care for our self, we were only taught self-hatred.

Please don't let that JWdom, dumb, dumb, thinking do that to you any more. You'll have hard times. But try to read, re-circuit the brain, to think positively. Read more about the history of the JW organization just to clarify how wrong, untrue, and hateful this organization is. Then, you can go on with pride that you walked away from it and proud and proving what a survivor you surely are. So many best wishes to you!

ziddina

OH! I LOVE this post! LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!! Especially because you listed the articles in CHRONOLOGICAL order, and gave sources!!! THANKS for posting this!!!

Zid (Damn, I miss my smileys...)

ziddina

Hi, OceanBlue! I read the first page (didn't notice it at first 'cause it was 6 years old), then wondered who 'resurrected' it

Then I read your story; believe me, at 22 you haven't nearly as much time invested [wasted in the cult...] as many of us did before we left. I do agree with your idea - get a job, become self-reliant, and then 'Get Outta Dodge!!"

May I suggest?? I wish I'd done this when I was 15 years old or so... I had 'non'-believing relatives - in another state - I should have called them up - not that I knew what their phone numbers were, since they were 'worldly' people... But I COULD have gotten in touch with them, and asked for their help in getting me out of my dysfunctional JW family...

Perhaps you have some relatives who aren't JWs who would help you?? Perhaps your friends could help you - at least with your job search, and then may I recommend getting an education? I would suggest starting out with accounting - always in demand, and pays reasonably well - and you could get started at your local community college for much less than the cost of a four-year-college...

Best of strength and success to you! Zid

Oceanblue

Haha yep Ziddina, I brought this topic back up! Thank you everybody for warmly welcoming me. I finally have an outlet to freely use my brain! I wish I had some relatives that could help me :( most are J-dubs and the ones who aren't, I have no idea where they are! My family is one of those Witnesses that abandoned their non-witness relatives. As for my friend's, they are def. helping me to get a job. I feel like its only a matter of time before I get confronted with the ultimatium again and I want to be ready. Despite everything, I'm hoping for the best in 2010.

dgp

Welcome Oceanblue, from a non-JW. You're very young and you have every possibility to live a good life. Don't think of the past but as a way to determine what is NOT the right thing to do.

I can relate to your worldly friends who didn't stop checking on you. They do love you for who you are. Treasure them.

satinka

Gosh, Oceanblue, welcome to the forum. I realize I have resurrected an old thread, but I was doing some research on shunning and your thread popped up and caught my attention. Your writing made my heart ache, even beyond the ache I feel about losing my children to a cult.

Here are my comments about your situation:

It seems to me the jws want to break your spirit. It makes some people angry, and it makes other people (like me) draw ever-further away from the cult. I suppose we see more clearly the control they are trying to exercise over their members. It feels contrary to “free will.” It doesn’t feel healthy to me.
My sense is the jws practice cruel and unusual punishment by their alienation practice. It is a lose-lose situation. On the one hand you are not allowed to associate with your family members. On the other hand, you are not allowed to have human contact with the world. You are isolated. People who are isolated become broken. I was fortunate in that I had a professional relationship with a therapist who understood cult mentality. I also had a group of dance friends who comforted me and supported me. Not everyone is that fortunate. I used my wits to help me reach out to these people. I sensed they cared, so I poured out my heart to them. They were there for me and did not let me down. The jws have no sense of loyalty to anyone but the wt, which is a “thing”—a “corporation”—not a person. Sick and twisted reasoning.

Moving away to another province helped me to collect myself again and start to see myself through my own eyes, instead of the judgment coming from any jw I happened to run into.

I am curious about the stoning that was mentioned. I know that in the bible, it talks about stoning certain ones judged for this or that. I recall something being said about “treating as dead” those who leave the organization. Sounds like the Muslim “honor-killing” stuff. Provides a new slant on the jw practice of shunning. Cruel and punishing belief-system of JWs matches the Muslim “honor-killing” theology.

I have been shunned by my two grown children since I left the cult in 2000, upon being disfellowshipped.

I’d like to know that you are doing okay these days, Oceanblue!

Love,

satinka

DanaBug

This is a great list! Marked.

ziddina

Cool! Someone resurrected another great thread!!

STOP Talking to Your Family OR ELSE!

Share this