i think you misunderstand me, perhaps I wasn't clear enough,
i was in no way suggesting that you repeat past performances.
in fact I suggested trying NEW things to improve the situation.
i didn't say give him the opportunity to be a man by taking care of "things".
i said by taking care of "himself" (as in, getting off his ass and not relying on you) and treating you better
(by taking up some slack and pulling some of his own weight).
to put my suggestions as simply as i can for you,
i'm saying stick up for yourself, absolutely protect yourself....financially, emotionally, physically, etc, from ANY person who from the sounds of things looks out for himself only and not for you.
by opportunity I meant that when you stick up for yourself by making the obviously necessary changes here,
he is being given the opportunity to rise to the occasion and smarten up.
people will take advantage of you if you let them. absolutely stop letting him.
if you want the relationship to continue in a healthier state, make the changes you see as necessary, and communicate your reasons and expectations of him.
if you want to simply end the relationship, make the changes you see as necessary, protecting yourself as best you can from the fallout, and kick him out or wait for him to leave.
you said you are confused and you asked for opinions, those are mine.
am i making myself any more clear, or shall i quit while i'm behind? ;)