Hi atacrossroads
i am in a similar situation to you, just woken up, but my husband is devout and very controlling. I admire that you have been true to yourself and to your conscience, I hope that they just let you go quietly.
You are right to be relieved there are no children involved, we have 3, 1 out, 1 in but struggling and a baby. That's where the differences really hurt, when we are parenting (particularly our teenager who is still in) and she is struggling with the friendship issue at the moment (not allowed 'worldly' associations but no good friends in the 'truth'). I want to lift the pressure off her and let her make her own decisions about friends, not to let difference of religion get in the way of a friendship, he specializes in making her feel guilty and ashamed if she ever 'defies' him and spends time with her 'worldly' schoolfriends. He is difficult in lots of other ways even the witnesses see it, so right now I'm not sure our marriage will survive. In the past I've always stayed and even put up with abuse because I had to as a good witness wife, that barrier is no longer there, although I'd like to make things work for the sake of the kids, if he'll work with me that is.
if I had a husband who was loving, supportive and a 'good husband' like you do, I would slow down a bit, for the sake of his feelings, it's a shock to him and he has not read what you have read. Concentrate on positive areas of your marriage, recreation etc, spend time doing fun things together, don't criticize his dub ways. But just ask for mutual respect on your different viewpoints, ask him for help not to get df'd. When he sees you are happy doing other things, but still a good wife, he might start to question things himself.
Re the holidays I would not do it under his nose, go to a college do yes, but don't put decorations in the house, it will cause unnecessary friction and damage your fade.