atacrossroads I truly empathize with you because we are both in a very similar circumstance. When I first expressed to my husband my true feelings about the organization he too blamed himself for my spiritual decline. Although he wasn't as adamant as your husband about seeking help from an elder i still have this nagging feeling in the back of my head that my husband will one day let the fact that i dont believe anymore slip in one of his conversations with the elders or to someone at the hall and i will be summoned to a JC.
I pray that you and your spouse can get to a point where you can have a successful marriage without religion attached to it and that eventually he will come around to the real truth.
Hang in there!